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How to Keep 'Agents of SHIELD' From Completely Sucking This Season

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | September 22, 2014 |

By Vivian Kane | Miscellaneous | September 22, 2014 |

I have given Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. a lot of crap on this site. I wanted to love this show, I wanted it to be great. But it wasn’t. I think we can all agree on that. So I stopped watching around the middle of season one and never looked back. That is, until YOU PEOPLE bullied (read: politely and enthusiastically suggested) me into giving it a second chance. And boy am I glad I did. About two thirds of the way in, the show picked a huge amount of steam (Hydra-powered steam! Patton Oswalt steam!), and they finally seemed to find their groove right at the end.

With the second season premiering tomorrow night, here are just a few suggestions for ways to hold onto that momentum and not let the suck back in. Warning, there are season one spoilers ahead. You know, if you for some reason haven’t finished yet. In which case, what the hell are you waiting for?

Tie Up Those Loose Ends
Season one introduced some interesting subplots to keep running through all the various Big Bads, but they never seemed to know when to cut them off. Everything ran on waaaay too long: Skye and her parents, Coulson and T.A.H.I.T.I., and oh my god I could not have cared less about Mike Peterson by the end. Don’t Lindelof us here. Wrap up the existing stories and start some new ones before we all drift away.

Keep It In House
Season one definitely got a needed energy injection from the Captain America/Hydra crossover stuff, but for the most part, the show does a whole lot better when it forgets the movie worlds exist. When it tries to fit into the Marvel movie mold instead of accepting its role as fun, quirky next-door neighbor, it ends up looking second-rate. This show is the Kimmy Gibbler of the Marvel Universe, and it works best when it accepts that. It should also help that they won’t have to deal with the overlaps of any movie releases. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. will be able to exist on its own, at least until it taps out for the winter hiatus and Agent Carter takes its time slot.

Season two has been said to be all about building up a new team. Great! The interpersonal relationships are what this show does best. Bring in some new characters, shake things up, but leave the movie world to itself.

That being said…

Keep the Guest Stars Coming
Sure, Lady Sif made for a fun, if nonsequitous episode, and everyone loves when Samuel L. Jackson shows up dressed like a homeless jazz musician, but the season two guest stars are already looking to be heading in a great direction. Lucy Lawless as Agent Isabelle Hartley, Kyle MacLachlan as [SPOILER], Adrianne Palicki as Mockingbird, and Reed Diamond as Kraken. Oh yeah, and MORE PATTON OSWALT. NEVER ENOUGH PATTON. These are solid, exciting guest roles that don’t threaten to overshadow the show itself, but rather have the potenial to heighten the ensemble.

Don’t Ruin FitzSimmons
At the end of season one, Fitz finally told Simmons how he felt about her, and then suffered as of yet unknown consequences because of it. Elizabeth Henstridge (Simmons) has said, in regards to how that will affect the pair moving forward, “That’s something that once that moment’s happened, you can’t really go back from that in a friendship,” and that “neither of them will be the same after going through that emotionally and physically.” Please, PLEASE don’t take the one pairing with truly great chemistry and reduce them to a will they/won’t they plagued with awkwardness and jealousy. Let’s hope that moving forward here means realizing that their relationship was perfect already.

TripSimmons Sexy Times
Oh please just let this happen already.

Coulson/Anyone Sexy Times
In my ideal fanfic version, this would obviously be Amy Acker, but I’m not holding my breath. I understand Coulson might be tied up with plotlines of aliens in his brain or whatever but still, let Clark Gregg’s smoulder be used on something other than his car. It just feels like a waste of sexy.

Just because Ward is evil(ish), that doesn’t mean he’s out of the show. He’s still around, and he has a lost-soul beard to match Skye’s kicky new bangs (which are HIGHLY impractical for her action-packed line of work, by the way). We can all see the obvious cautious forgiveness/redemption sex/betrayal plotline a half season away, right? STOP RIGHT THERE WHEDONS. She’s still boring. He’s still super boring. No one cares about these two. Back away from the will they/won’t they and no one gets hurt.