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How Do You Enter the Wifi Password When the Computer's Your Brain?

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 7, 2014 |

By Genevieve Burgess | Miscellaneous | January 7, 2014 |

Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD on ABC at 8:00pm ET. First season winter premiere.

Intelligence on CBS at 9:00pm ET. Series premiere. This is the new show that’s basically Chuck except serious and starring Josh Holloway rather than Zachary Levi. Guy with a computer chip in his head because a super-powered intelligence operative, egregious abuse of the word “hack”, and a blonde boss to help guide the cyber-enhanced individual through their new life. This version’s blonde boss is Marg Helgenberger who I genuinely can’t see as anyone but Catherine Willows from CSI so I’m probably going to spend half the pilot trying to figure out how a former stripper made it into an “elite government cyber-security agency.” Not that I doubt it could happen, I just think it might make a better story than “man with a computer for a brain!” again.

New Girl on Fox at 9:00pm ET. Third season winter premiere.

Cougar Town on TBS at 10:00pm ET. Fifth season premiere.

Justified on FX at 10:00pm ET. Fifth season premiere. There’s a few new shows premiering tonight that I feel very sad in neglecting, but I know that if I’d left this off I’d be flayed alive but the fans. No, wait, those are the Game of Thrones fans. What’s the appropriate punishment for Justified? It involves a shotgun, doesn’t it?

Genevieve Burgess encourages everyone experiencing the polar vortex to stay huddled in front of the TV under a pile of blankets and whatever close friends/domesticated animals are available.