It’s that time again— the time when a whole bunch of great stuff disappears from Netflix. Here’s everything that will no longer be streaming come May 1st, and there’s a lot of it, so I’ll tell you what. You let me know what you’re in the mood for, and I’ll tell you what to watch.
If you want to see some fantastically pretty people be fantastically anachronistic, watch A Knight’s Tale.
There’s Airplane!, because surely your April has been too serious.
Here’s where I would make a joke about Airplane II: The Sequel, but I’ve never seen Airplane II: The Sequel.
You probably don’t want to watch this movie.
If you want to watch something very, very dumb, watch BASEketball.
If you want to watch something very, very said, go with Boys Don’t Cry.
If you need some John Waters weirdness, there’s Cecil B. Demented.
If you’re looking for a fantastic, spectacular, and terrifying journey, there’s Fantastic Voyage.
If you forgot Finding Forrester was a movie that exists (like I did), guess what! It is.
If you want to have your heart broken, watch Life Is Beautiful.
If you’re in the mood to watch RoboCop, watch RoboCop. This doesn’t need any other qualifiers. It’s RoboCop.
If you want a whole heap of charm and smarm and adventure and silliness, watch Romancing the Stone.
You may be tempted to watch the sequel, The Jewel of the Nile. You probably shouldn’t.
If you want an Audrey Hepburn fairytale, watch Sabrina.
Or, alternatively, Funny Face.
If you want to see Vanilla Ice rap about ninjas who are also turtles (YOU DON’T, THOUGH), you have to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.
If you’re looking to see Jodie Foster tear some shit up, there’s The Accused.
If you want to watch The Secret of NIMH before your childhood memories are ruined by that upcoming remake, this is your last shot.
IF YOU WANT TO HAVE A DELIGHTFUL TIME AND LOVE LIFE AND EVERYTHING IN IT, WATCH THE BROTHERS BLOOM.
DO IT NOW.
And here’s everything else that’s leaving at the end of the month. I look forward to you all yelling at me and telling me what I should have included above.
6 Bullets (2012)
12 Dogs of Christmas: Great Puppy Rescue (2012)
All I Want for Christmas (1991)
Along Came Polly (2004)
An American Haunting (2006)
Baby Genius: The Four Seasons (2003)
Baby Genius: Underwater Adventures (2003)
Bitter Moon (1992)
Bratz: Babyz: The Movie (2005)
Call Me Claus (2001)
Call Me Crazy: A Five Film (2013)
Deuces Wild (2002)
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (2002)
Friday the 13th: Pary 7: The New Blood (1988)
Ichi the Killer (2001)
Into the Blue 2: The Reef (2009)
True Justice: Season 1