I’m exhausted. Street harassment. GamerGate. Those Janay Rice costumes. That people are believing the word of Jian Ghomeshi over his eight victims (so far). It’s an exhausting time to be a woman. It’s always an exhausting time to be a women. But something about election-year autumns bring out the worst in everything and everyone.
The Hollaback street harassment video has gone super viral and this has of course led to huge discussions online. Some completely necessary—white feminism ignoring the experiences of women of color, the problematic editing of some of the white perpetrators. Some wholly unnecessary—chiefly hurt male feelings.
For time and space, this should cover all of it, from Ghomeshi to GG to getting catcalls while trying to walk to work:
If you have opinions about the validity and veracity of what women are telling you, or have decided that, by speaking about some men, a woman is definitely insulting you personally, or that your feelings are hurt because you’re such a good guy and no one is throwing you a giant cookie-filled blow job party because of it, NO ONE FUCKING CARES. Your feelings? They don’t matter. If you didn’t do it? FUCKING NEAT. Just listen. JUST FUCKING LISTEN. Don’t explain what must really be happening to us, or how we must be mistaken, or how it’s a compliment, or how we’re exaggerating and sensitive and PC and and and. Stop. Stop being fucking garbage all the time. Just. Fucking. Stop. And women siding with the men, siding with unspeakable misogyny and rape/death threats? Ignoring the experiences of fellow women just because they’re a different race/age/sexual orientation/class/etc./have a different kink than you do/dress differently/don’t have Amanda Palmer on their sides/disagree with the men you’re so lowering yourself to defend? Fucking Joyce Carol Oates? STOP. Everyone STOP. If your reaction to these things is anything other than sadness and horror at what happens to women on a daily basis? STOP.
If you don’t see it, you’re not looking. If you think it’s not your problem, you’re not paying attention. You’re not listening. Stop talking. Stop making it about you. Just. Listen.
You can start here:
And if you still think it’s just a compliment? It’s just being polite? It’s no big deal?