Apparently, until last Saturday, I was the only twenty- to thirtysomething woman (…twentysomething. Definitely twentysomething.) who had yet to watch Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea, the ’80s pair* of miniseries(es?) based on the classic children’s series by L.M. Montgomery. Somehow I—a red-headed, frecklefaced youth with an overactive imagination, albeit sadly not Canadian—had missed out on the adventures of my literary doppelganger. What can I say? I was a Little House girl.
When I wasn’t swooning over Gilbert
in raptures over bitch headmistress
Queen Bitch Headmistress changed the spelling of HER OWN NAME just to spite Anne. You don't get better than that.— Rebecca Pahle (@RebeccaPahle) September 27, 2015
Anne: Look at the moooooon. Headmistress: I've seen many moons in my time. Anne: Not this one. HM: FUCK OFF, ANNE. I'VE SEEN THE MOON, ANNE.— Rebecca Pahle (@RebeccaPahle) September 27, 2015
wincing at Professor Pedo
or lunging at the screen to try and punch Mr. Fuckbubble here in the face
FUCK OFF, ROBERT REDFORD LITE. pic.twitter.com/9feDnsfl8r— Rebecca Pahle (@RebeccaPahle) September 27, 2015
I was in losing my shit over the clothes, which are early 20th century Canada through the lens of Dynasty. Every single item I want to either burn or wear every day, all at once, like an Edwardian Era Canadian burrito.
Anne is wearing a FULL-LENGTH PLAID CAPE.
I, too, am shocked at your lace turtleneck, Anne!
She may not have enough fabric for shoulders, but God dammit, she will have those puffed sleeves.
Dying her hair green: Accident, or Coney Island seapunk c. 2011?
Who’s going to bring the bolero back?
Fuck boleros, who’s going to bring capes back?
Antonio Banderas, I believe in you. Capes aren’t good for superhero-ing, obviously—the Gospel of Edna taught us that much—but I am honest-to-God angry that this is not on my shoulders right now:
Why Anne, how very wandering-on-the-moors-screaming-GILBERT-GILLLLLLBEERRTTTT of you!
“This doesn’t look too ’80s.”
“OH GOD NO.”
If anyone can pull the double-decker braid off, it’s Anne-with-an-E Shirley.
Someone in Brooklyn is wearing this exact outfit at this very moment.
“Seriously, Emmeline, get the fuck over it, whatever it is.”
The fashion accessory every Canadian woman needs: Young Kids in the Hall castmembers.
“I meant I wanted more Ruffles the chips.”
I would absolutely wear this:
…I would wear this too, don’tlookatme:
This is so Harlequin romance novel cover, and I am loving every single bit of it.
LOVE IS REAL:
You bring the raspberry cordials, I’ll bring the plum pudding sauce with dead mouse particles for flavor. Let’s geek the fuck out.
*I did not watch Anne of Green Gables: The Continuing Story. I have been told it is “the Godfather Part 3 of miniseries.”