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No, Don Draper Is Not Going to Transform Into D.B. Cooper

By Dustin Rowles | Mad Men | May 7, 2015 |

By Dustin Rowles | Mad Men | May 7, 2015 |

I absolutely love television series theorizing. It is literally my favorite part of this job, and the rabbit holes that I find myself climbing into are sometimes very off-the-wall. And the thing about theorizing is that sometimes you’re right (see, e.g., How I Met Your Mother) and sometimes you’re wrong (no, Megan Draper is not going to die a la Sharon Tate), and sometimes you’re wrong, but our way would’ve been SO much better (see our True Detective five horseman theory).

But I am fairly certain I figured out the ending to Mad Men and I began to piece it together with the sixth season premiere, and now it feels incredibly right. Because there is so much evidence to support it and because it’s not a wackadodle ending, and as Weiner has mentioned on several occasions, his ending is one that feels right for the character (and on the Nerdist podcast this week, Weiner also did say that he likes to foreshadow and to plant clues, but that he does not do symbolism, i.e., the spilled red wine in the 7b premiere meant nothing symbolically).

Anyway, I mention all of this only because I hate the D.B. Cooper theory. Part of it may be because I didn’t come up with it first (JEALOUSY), but mostly I hate it because there’s a very slim possibility it could come to fruition, and that — to me — is the worst possible way for the series to end: In a way that’s completely untrue to Don Draper, and completely out of character for the series.

So, I admit I felt a large sense of relief with Matthew Weiner — on Conan — basically dismissed the theory by mocking it (and also offering his own gag ending).

Maybe it doesn’t end the way I predict, but at least at this point, I don’t have to worry about Don Draper hijacking a plane and disappearing somwhere in Mexico.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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