It’s that time again: when Netflix purges a bunch of stuff you never got around to watching and replaces it with other stuff you won’t get around to watching. The difference this month is that unless you work in retail or food service or any number of stupid jobs that don’t close for the holidays, you may have a few extra days off at the start of this month. While New Year’s Eve is for one thing and one thing only (Twilight Zone marathons), New Year’s day is the perfect time for a lazy, hungover Netflix binge. Here’s how to tackle all the new Netflix material the Pajiban way.
Start with Friends.
As you may be aware, Friends is being released in its entirety on January 1st. While it may be tempting to power through a couple seasons, that’s a good way to melt your brain. Depending on your level of New Year hangover, take it easy and spend the morning in bed watching the first few episodes. Make sure you’re good and steeped in that 90s nostalgia before moving on to:
Watch this one early in the day. Your brain isn’t ready for a challenge, but there’s not enough alcohol left in your system from the night before to justify one of the hate-watches we’ll introduce later.
Move on to Mean Girls
Two high school movies in a row? If you’re spending all day in your pajamas, watching Netflix, you’re going to need to embrace your inner bitchy teen.
Dumb things down with Wayne’s World 2
You’ve got a long day ahead of you. Give your brain a break. While this isn’t a bad movie, chances are, you’ll spend most of it wishing you were watching the original.
Viewers Choice: Hate-Watch Time
You’ve got a few options here, but I wouldn’t recommend attempting more than one of these in one day. Put on Bad Boys 2, Jeepers Creepers 2, or Batman & Robin (*staff pick*). That crappy Richard Gere/JLo movie Shall We Dance is also on there, but it’s really too bland for a hate watch. If your hangover has subsided (or maybe if it hasn’t), this is a great time to introduce a drinking game into your day.
Cleanse your palate with more Friends.
Feel free to jump around here and cherry pick the best episodes. If you’re not feeling choosey, start at the beginning of either seasons two or three and just hit play.
Take stock of your own state.
Here you stand (or rather lounge) at a crossroads. Maybe your brain is mushy and you want saccharine slapstick, in which case Bruce Almighty is your best bet. Otherwise, you may be starting to crave actual quality viewing material. Well, you’re in luck because the highly under-observed 2010 Bill Murray movie Get Low is here now.
To Be Takei
Let George Takei’s charm entertain you for an hour and a half.
Let John Wayne ease you into the evening.
By this time it’s probably getting dark out (shhh… don’t try to add up the running times and tell me it’s a million o’clock, time works differently on holidays). Let’s bring things in a bit with John Wayne traipsing around Ireland in The Quiet Man.
Let sh*t get real for a while.
There’s been a lot of charm and fluff today. Give your brain a kickstart of 1970s grit with The French Connection. If it’s more of an emotional jolt (read: lots of tears) you’re after there’s also Michelle Monaghan’s military drama Fort Bliss.
Give yourself some weird dreams.
Pick something to fall asleep to that’ll really mess with your sleeping head. For dreams of volleyballs and homemade loincloths, you’ve got Cast Away. There’s also Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas or the 1953 War of the Worlds. Take your pick.
Or you could just watch both seasons of Peaky Blinders. The choice is yours!
Vivian Kane didn’t mention the 1990s 101 Dalmations, but if you’ve got kids you’re trying to find new punishments for, set that up in another room on all-day repeat.