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orange julius.png

Don’t Besmirch the Name of Orange Julius

By Kate Hudson | Food Porn | September 11, 2018 |

By Kate Hudson | Food Porn | September 11, 2018 |

orange julius.png

I am a woman of extremely simple tastes. I like my wine boxed, my Nic Cage movies a’plenty, and my oranges Julius-ed. Now, two out of three of those are pretty easy to come by on daily basis, and up until about 1993, so was the third. It seems that we have entered into the Dark Age of Orange Julius, and I’d like to ask the simple question: why?

Their social media accounts are all but inactive, their website sucks—no news or information on upcoming flavors (although why would you ever order anything but the original, perfect in its simplicity), and there’s not even a “news” tab for Orange Julius when you google them. This is a company (and a delicious drink) that has existed for over 90 years, and yet we do not pay our respect. They’re languishing in front of our eyes.

It used to be you could walk into any mall, and there would be an Orange Julius. Sure, the drink loses all its flavor by the time you’re half-way through it, but that first half is worth it. To try to describe an Orange Julius is to attempt to describe what sunshine looks to someone who has lived in a windowless room all their life—it brings you joy, and you feel its absence acutely when its gone.

The person who currently hold the title of “President” certainly does not help Orange Julius. Many people on Twitter refer to that guy as “Orange Julius” because they think they’re clever. What they’re really doing is dragging down the good name of Orange Julius, a hit to their reputation they can no longer afford. Sure, if we were in the halcyon days of yore where wandering around the mall aimlessly was considered an excellent way to waste a Saturday, Orange Julius wouldn’t care who or what was associated with their brand. Those days are gone and aren’t coming back, (just like the acid washed jeans we wore when Orange Julius’ were prolific.) Why then should we associate a repugnant man with a delicious drink that tastes of sunshine, oranges, and vanilla powder? I implore you, do not besmirch the good name of Orange Julius any longer—they need all the support they can get.

Perhaps if we leave Orange Julius well alone, it will give them time to regroup, and distance themselves from the toxic dumpster fire currently in the White House. It may be the only way forward for those of us who still wish to enjoy a classic Orange Julius from time to time.

Be the change you want to see in the world—and I want to see Orange Julius thrive, once more, in my lifetime. Please help me in this quest.

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Kate is a staff contributor. You can follow her on Twitter.

Header Image Source: Getty