It’s been a big couple of weeks for fans of Game of Thrones, The Avengers, or people who were looking for things to do because any moment of silent contemplation without something to hold their attention makes their entire world come crashing down upon them, so deep is the lie they live (aka: me. Don’t ask me about that night and how I came into a priceless collection of rare Beanie Babies. The less you know, the better.)
We already tackled, by far, the most important component of Game of Thrones, in the last couple of weeks, so it’s time we tackle the most important part of Avengers: End Game, today. So obviously spoilers, specifically related to Captain America for everything that comes after, here.
I’m warning you, after this next image, it will be spoilers central.
OK. So, knowing what you know—how Captain America never got over Peggy, and somehow found a way to time travel back to be with her, would you with him, supposing you got the chance post crashing-into-the-ice-for-decades, pre going-back-in-time-to-be-with-the-one-woman-he-ever-loved?
Like, would you hook up with him knowing there’s no emotional connection with you, at all, and all the while you’re doing whatever it is you’re both into (at the time), he’s secretly thinking of another person because he can’t get over her!?
I mean, sure, off the bat you may initially say yes, he’s a consenting adult, after all, and also, good looking—but the more you peel back this onion, layer by layer, it seems less enticing, if I’m honest. (Also, we’re talking specifically about Captain America and not Chris Evans, actor.)
So, supposing one night Captain America gets lonely, just like the rest of us. You meet him (probably at a bar) and while he seems sad on the inside, he also seems ready to go to bonetown, population: you, so…what do you do?!
Do you take this sad, lonely person home for a night of meaningless physical interaction, knowing that his heart’s not in it, and he’ll probably hate himself after, or do you turn him down for his own good?!
It’s clear this wouldn’t be his normal thing (unlike a certain hot, ice zombie King—we all know, Cap is more of a relationship guy, he’s here for a long time not a good time.) So, again I ask you: would you?!
Personally, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t unless I had enough to drink to make me think that everything sounds like a good idea if suggested. Typically, in these instances, it means ordering $50 worth of food at McDonald’s (for myself) or trying to leg wrestle my colleagues (don’t ask about this weekend) instead of taking home a superhero, but who knows?!
I’m going to go ahead and say I wouldn’t, primarily because I think he’d feel bad about it afterward. Then again, most people tend to feel bad after they meet me, so this might be a “me” thing and not a “Captain America” thing.
What about you?