There are so many streaming services and choosing just the ones that will give you your money’s worth is as complicated as Dustin’s many Yarn Walls of Contemplation. One streaming service is making it easy, raising a bright neon sign declaring their preferred audience with a single announcement:
HBO Max will be releasing the Snyder Cut of Justice League in 2021.
Listen up fans of Zack Snyder and moody murder superheroes, because HBO Max wants to take you out to a nice seafood dinner and then give you a lapdance while the Snyder Cut plays in the background and Twitter fan boys watch through the windows. That’s the kind of streaming service HBO Max is, kids.
Since 2017, Snyder fanboys have taken every Warner Bros. and DC release and co-opted it to trumpet for their beloved Snyder cut of the overly ambitious, poorly conceived and finished, but otherwise enjoyable enough Justice League. This was prompted by Joss Whedon finishing the film after Snyder left due to the death of his daughter. When the film underperformed, the rallying cry for MOAR DARK AND MOAR BROOD became #ReleaseTheSnyderCut and it was loud, constant, and annoying as f*ck.
People claimed the cut didn’t exist. Aquaman star Jason Momoa claimed he seent it, kids. Superman Henry Cavill did not want it released, but ironically was doing a live commentary of the film with Snyder when the director announced its imminent release.
Said to be “an entirely new thing”, this cut of Justice League will reportedly cost $20 million to put together. Yes, I said will. This cut that has totally existed this whole time requires Snyder to get together with post-production, get actors to reshoot or re-dub lines, and do music in preparation for releasing “an almost four-hour director’s cut or split into six “chapters.”
So no, the cut didn’t exist until it was willed into existence by one man’s ego and the very loud screeches of dudes online. Awesome.
Wow, kids. Just wow. Do you think now that Snyder fanboys will change the hashtag identifying them as Very Big DC Fans from #ReleaseTheSnyderCut to something else? Perhaps #SnyderCutMasterRace or #SnyderCutWasOkayIGuess? Because I still need to know which people to ignore online.