'Ghosted' Fails in Just About Every Metric of Filmmaking

By Petr Navovy | Film | April 24, 2023 |

By Petr Navovy | Film | April 24, 2023 |

I had so little interest in Ghosted, the new action-romcom from director Dexter Fletcher (Rocketman), that I didn’t even know there was going to be an ‘action’ component at all until it happened. I’d read no synopses and seen no trailers. The only exposure I’d had to any online discourse around the film was seeing a Tweet that said, based on the footage and images released from the film at that point, it was almost certain that its co-stars, Ana de Armas and Chris Evans, never once shared any time on set together.

And you know what? I’m ninety-nine percent sure that’s true. At least for the initial parts of the story. For the first quarter of the film, while it’s in its romcom phase and the courtship between Evans’ farmer, Cole, and de Armas’ Sadie, Ghosted struggles to convince you that these two characters are ever in the same physical space together. The blocking, backgrounds, angles—once you start seeing it, you can’t stop: It’s all so clearly designed for doubles and CGI inserts. You might start to feel a little bit like Charlie Kelly hunting for Pepe Silvia, but the evidence is compelling.

It’s a good thing it is, too, because absolutely nothing else here is. Written by Rhett Reese (Deadpool), Chris McKenna (also Deadpool), and Paul Wernick (Spiderhead), Ghosted takes a sharp turn about half-an-hour in, veering from the story of a blossoming romance into a deadly ‘adventure’ involving international assassins, bounty hunters, and weapons of mass destruction. Given the right ingredients, this kind of concoction can be a riotously good time. I recently rewatched 2005’s Mr. & Mrs. Smith, and the abundance of chemistry and fun, backed up by directing skill courtesy of Doug Liman apparent there, made Ghosted feel like a sad bit of soggy cardboard by comparison.

Aside from the gaping chasm where the chemistry between the leads should be, Ghosted fails in just about every other metric of filmmaking too. The editing is awkward and distracting, often holding on people for too long, or cutting too many times without any real reason. The dialogue is either bland or preposterous (and not in a fun way). Occasionally, you notice the seeds of a decent joke here and there, but the delivery is botched every single time. There are groan-inducing cameos, almost painful in their artifice and desperation. And the cinematography? Well, I don’t even know how to describe it. Apart from one or two action shots that show a degree of inventiveness, it feels almost accidental. Purposeless. Special mention goes to the color grading here, as I’m not sure what look the filmmakers were trying to go for, but ‘visual metaphor for depression’ surely couldn’t have been it. Flat and desaturated, but not in a stylised way, it made the most dull and lifeless February Tuesday in London feel like Rio Carnival by comparison.

All of these shortcomings could almost be forgiven had the spark been there between our two leads. I keep coming back to it, but not only is there zero chemistry here—even in the scenes where they might actually be sharing some physical space—I’m not entirely convinced that Ana de Armas and Chris Evans are strong enough performers to carry a film on their shoulders even if the material had been stronger. I liked Evans in Snowpiercer, and he can be quite charming in the right supporting role, but his status in the industry has never felt proportional to his raw acting skill to me. The same is true—and even more so—for Ana de Armas, an actor who I’ve yet to see put on a performance that I was impressed by, or believed at all, if I’m being frank.

Ghosted is already fading from my memory at shocking speed, but there’s one detail that does linger. Cole’s dad, played by Tate Donovan, has a nickname for his son. He deploys this in what always feels like a half-affectionate, half-gently ribbing fashion. He calls him ‘Coleslaw’, and every time he did I couldn’t help but think, that’s a really odd name for a father to give his son, isn’t it? Coleslaw, based on Cole. That’s a nickname that friends give. I wanted to say to Cole’s dad, ‘Mate, you named him Cole! Did you name him that just so you could use ‘Coleslaw’?’ Just a bizarre choice in a bizarre film. At least Burn Gorman shows up for a minute or two—though even he is bland and forgettable here. That should tell you everything you need to know.

Ghosted is out now on Apple TV