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Mike Tyson Beats Up Hannah Montana

By The Pajiba Staff | DVD Releases | August 18, 2009 |

By The Pajiba Staff | DVD Releases | August 18, 2009 |

Hannah Montana: The Movie: Agent Bedhead didn’t hate it! “Director Peter Chelsom largely stays true to fans of the television show, and parents will appreciate the wholesome, G-rated goodness of the film. Miley/Hannah stays fully clothed at all times, and her onscreen kiss with Travis is cleverly hidden through some deft camera work. Cinematography, particularly during the parts of the film that take place in rural Tennessee, is pretty spectacular and, honestly, more than the context (and, dare I say, the audience) deserves. Hell, this isn’t exactly Legends of the Fall with a justified need for sweeping landscapes, but it’s not a bad little film either. Yeah, there’s a bit too much of the country music for my tastes, and, honestly, I could have done without the Tyra Banks cameo, although her grating presence serves as a clear example of spoiled brattiness that Robby Ray judges as a good reason to split for Tennessee. If pressed to make a legitimate complaint here, I’d say that filmmakers should get their asses kicked for working in an anti-corporate theme while the film itself so obviously benefits from its own shameless commercialism. After all, Hannah Montana is a pop singer, so there are plenty of soundtracks to be sold, but I guess this sort of hypocrisy is just the nature of the cinematic beast.”

Last House on the Left:Likewise, Steven Lloyd Wilson didn’t hate this one, either: “It wasn’t a bad film, but it wasn’t a great film. It seemed to be very uncertain of what it actually wanted to be, swinging between moments of casual brutality and over the top horror movie gore. The film works during the former, not so much during the latter. The original film is legendary. Brutal. Over the top. Complex. Surreal. But it was not necessarily all that great of a film independent of the context of its cultural shock. This remake gets points for genuinely attempting to make something different and significant.So is it a good film? Is it worth seeing? It has good moments. It doesn’t go freaky deaky hippie dippie like the original did at points. It’s not a bad film, it’s just a frustrating one. If you’ve got a hankering for some new horror, I’d say it’s worth seeing. I’d rather watch a film in which the director reached for something great and came up short than endure one of the nominally more entertaining but ultimately pointless popcorn flicks.”

Tyson: Ah, but Dustin did hate this one, but mostly because he hates Tyson, which bleeds over into his opinion of the documentary: “Tyson is the story of Mike Tyson as told by Mike Tyson, which is to say: It’s a plea for sympathy and understanding, a one-sided account of his career, his transgressions, and — most of all — his excuses. It’s occasionally effective, though even Satan himself could probably spin a sympathetic version of his life if given a microphone, 88 minutes, and no dissenting voices. He might argue that he’s gotten a bad rap, that he grew up on the wrong side of Eden, and that he wasn’t well suited to a career of evil-doing. If only Satan had has a proper father figure, he’d argue, the world could’ve been saved from so much war and famine. “But I have no one to blame but myself,” Satan would declare, and we’d all forgive him because Satan couldn’t help it, y’all! He had a horrible upbringing that no amount of success, fame, or money could remedy.

And FYI: “Dexter” Season Three also comes out today.

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Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.