I need a break from the interminable tire fire that is the White House (amid the departure of another senior aide and the departures expected relatively soon from others, including John Kelly, Dan Scavino, and Sarah Huckabee Sanders), so let’s look at what’s shaking in the world of celebrity couples.
For instance, did you know that Chris Pratt is now dating Katherine Schwarzenegger, the daughter of Arnold and Maria Shriver? Good for him, I guess?
That guy who resigned, Chuck Hagin, was a George W. Bush guy, and Donald Trump thinks that the “Bushies” are out to get him. He also thinks that the Canadians are sneaking shoes across the border.
Trump says Canadians are smuggling US goods into Canada to avoid tariffs: “They buy shoes and they wear ‘em. They scuff ‘em up to make ‘em sound old, or look old.”— Eamon Javers (@EamonJavers) June 19, 2018
But also, Anna Faris is dating, too! She’s dating a cinematographer named Michael Barrett — he was the cinematographer for Overboard (and also Ted and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang and a lot of other movies). Good for Anna!
Meanwhile, John Kelly doesn’t give a shit. He told “at least one person close to him that he may as well let the president do what he wants, even if it leads to impeachment — at least this chapter of American history would come to a close.”
Wow! But also, did you know that Zoey Deutch — the amazing daughter of Leah Thompson and director Howard Deutch (Pretty in Pink) — is dating a fella named Dylan Hayes. Here he is in No Strings Attached. That was seven years ago, so he probably looks different now.
I don’t remember that movie well, but I’m guessing he played a young Ashton Kutcher.
But also, the “other” adult in the room, General Mattis, has also apparently lost the favor of Trump.
Over the past 24 hours I've heard from several sources that Defense Secretary Mattis has been iced out by POTUS and has increasingly become isolated.— Yashar Ali 🐘 (@yashar) June 19, 2018
This has nothing to do with celebrity dating, but man: As much as Seth MacFarlane’s work often annoys me, I respect the guy, who shat all over Fox News the other day (and started a trend) and then put his money where his mouth is by donating $2.5 million to NPR. I will sit through Ted 3 for that.
Also, mad respect to the Congressional Hispanic Caucus today.
Congressional Hispanic Caucus members yell at Trump about the “zero tolerance” policy as he walks by after his meeting with GOP lawmakers at the Capitol. pic.twitter.com/YMva974pnq— Daniella Diaz (@DaniellaMicaela) June 19, 2018
Orlando Bloom is not dating Cate Blanchett, but Bloom did admit on James Corden’s show that he had a mad crush on Blanchett while filming Lord of the Rings. Get in line, mister.
Holy Shit! Corey Lewandowski is a terrible man.
Awww. Look at young Ryan Hansen! Oh, wait. That’s young Dax Shepard.
He really said “Womp womp,” didn’t he? Jesus, there is no bottom.
The abject fucking cruelty of these people. They are monsters. This is a monstrous thing to say. https://t.co/D06YcQYzcG— Timothy Simons (@timothycsimons) June 19, 2018
Trump doesn’t give a shit about the kids, by the way.
Someone yelled “Mr. President, fuck you!" at Trump as he walked into Paul Ryan’s office.— Denizcan Grimes (@MrFilmkritik) June 19, 2018
To the person who yelled that: God bless you.
US Capitol Police on lookout for young white woman who yelled “Mr. President, f— you!”— John Bresnahan (@BresPolitico) June 19, 2018
Well, we’re definitely not going to end with that. How about this?
Also, since we all neglected to mention it: Happy Juneteenth, everyone.