Our long international nightmare is…just beginning. Yes, it’s true. The Most Interesting Man in the World is off on his final journey — to Mars — and, unfortunately for Earth, he won’t be back.
Sure, he’s just another crusty, rich, white guy smoking cigars, draped in younger women and privilege, but he was our crusty white guy and it was hard not to admire his apparent charm and übercool demeanor. Hell, even movie stars (who probably aspire to be Mr. Dos Equis) were taken with The Most Interesting Man;
Jonathan Goldsmith, the gentleman chosen over more than 500 actors to make us thirsty for Dos Equis, actually seems like The Nicest Guy in the World, so it also seems a shame — if not, oddly appropriate — to bid him adieu.
As we do when anyone leaves an iconic role, along with our emotional farewells, we are compelled to offer our thoughts on who should take over the
mantle bottle; after all, we’re infinitely qualified to choose…
LET ME FINISH! …who we want to look at.
Thank you, my friend. Now, as I was saying, there are a few perfect candidates; they’re not relative unknowns, but they do have that certain je ne sais quoi that I believe would well represent the established campaign.
1. The Obamas
This charismatic couple is going to need a new gig, and we don’t want to say “Goodbye.” Win-win!
2. Helen Mirren
If anyone can reverse that stereotype, and drape a few good men from her fabulous arms…
3. THE SWINTON
You know and I know, it doesn’t get any more interesting than this.
4. Ruby Rose
On the off-chance (er, near-certainty) they want to go younger, it’d be glorious to have a Most Interesting Person in the World.
We’ll take it. Adios, amigo!
Let’s all drink to the past ten years…and upcoming elections.