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Oh Hey! There's Taylor Kitsch! We Found Him. Someone Let the Authorities Know!

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | April 18, 2017 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | April 18, 2017 |

In 2012, on the heels of Friday Night Lights, Hollywood tried to make Taylor Kitsch happen, and to be honest, I don’t blame Hollywood. They saw this, and thought: Man, we might have something here!



So, they signed him up for two of the most expensive movies of 2012, John Carter and Battleship. They also ended up being the two biggest bombs of 2012 (and yes, I know, 30 percent of commenters; John Carter wasn’t bad. Noted.) That seemed to be the end of the Make Tayor Kitsch Happen campaign until 2015, when HBO got the bright idea to cast Kitsch in True Detective Season Two, a season of television so bad that it basically destroyed one of HBO’s hottest properties. After all those years, no one apparently checked to see if Kitsch could actually act.

To be fair, sometimes those things are easy to miss when you’re distracted.


But if they had looked closer, they’d have realized he came from the Campbell’s Soup school of acting, which is to say: His acting repertoire consists almost entirely of reactions to the smell of what’s cooking.


“Hmmm. Smells like chicken and stars.”

Anyway, after True Detective, Kitsch vanished.

But now it looks like they’re trying to make him happen again, although admittedly on a smaller scale. He is currently set to star as David Koresh in a limited TV series produced by the Weinsteins (Michael Shannon will play the lead FBI Agent. Kitsch’s likeness notwithstanding, Shannon might have been a better choice to play Koresh). Kitsch is also billed, but barely seen, in the trailer for American Assassin with Michael Keaton. The movie, which also stars Dylan O’Brien and Sanaa Lathan, comes out this fall. Kitsch is in the trailer for a combined one second. Here’s the only two shots of him, if you checked out this post for the sole purpose of seeing Kitsch.

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Consider yourself completely caught up on the career of Taylor Kitsch now.

Here’s the full trailer, if you’re interested.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here or follow him on Twitter.

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