I do not watch The Bachelor, so much of what Anna Kendrick wrote this week in live-tweeting the show (with considerably less misogyny than Jason Biggs, who has apparently been written out of Orange is the New Black, by the way) meant absolutely nothing to me, although I was able to somehow pick up on the fact that she really likes this Ashley S person.
Ashley S is the best human.— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 3, 2015
ASHLEY S WILL YOU PLEASE COACH ME FOR ALL FUTURE TV INTERVIEWS THIS IS NOT A JOKE #TheBachelor— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 3, 2015
"I was so bored honestly." - folk hero Ashley S. on The Bachelor.— Bryan Safi (@bryansafi) March 3, 2015
(She looks like someone whose enthusiasm would literally crush me to death).
Kendrick also believes that “Jade” looks really good naked (she’s not wrong).
Jade looks great naked. Not that I googled it. Like…. a friend… showed me…. #TheBachelor— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 3, 2015
I don’t know who she is referring to here in this Tweet, but I can certainly appreciate and sympathize with her thirst.
It was that tweet, however, that got the attention of Spencer Pratt. Remember him?
It’s OK if you don’t. I don’t think we’ve mentioned him in a post since his failed reality show in 2009. He is a real doucher, which is why him favoriting the above Tweet elicited this response from Kendrick:
Well now I have to kill myself 😐 pic.twitter.com/vzuw5bHKms— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) March 3, 2015
Poor Spencer Pratt. He gets mocked mercilessly even for favoriting tweets. He totally deserves it, although Pratt did elicit one of my all-time favorite comments from old-schooler Skittimus Maximus:
Spencer Pratt needs to be raped by a furious gorilla. Regardless of attire, this needs to happen.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to cut off a pinky finger. It’s a promise I made to myself in the event I ever typed Spencer Pratt’s name again, thus furthering his unexplainable celebrity. The fact that he was even mentioned here should prompt you to hang your head in shame, Rowles. HANG IT IN SHAME, FOR YOU’VE BROUGHT A POX UPON THIS HALLOWED GROUND!