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Robin Thicke and Paula Patton Separate After Nine Years, Because Duh

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | February 25, 2014 |

By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | February 25, 2014 |

Robin Thicke and Paula Patton have released a statement to People magazine notifying the public that they are officially separating, thus fulfilling the notice requirement, should anyone have any debts to settle with them.

“We will always love each other and be best friends, however, we have mutually decided to separate at this time,” the couple tell PEOPLE on Monday in an exclusive statement.

And by “mutual,” I’m assuming that means Paula Patton pointed at her body one morning recently and said, “Look at this.”


And then looked at Robin Thicke’s moustache and said, “Look at that.”


“Do you see anything wrong with this picture? Who does that man think he is with that facial hair? Prince? There’s only one Prince, son, and he is three times the man in half the body.”


“Why should this have to put up with ladies grinding up on that when this can grind up on anything it wants, thank you very much and good night!”


The final straw, of course, was when she finally read the lyrics to “Blurred Lines.”

As always, we here at Pajiba are saddened by the news of their impending divorce and wish the very best to the couple in their separate lives.

Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.

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