Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Dustin Rowles | Celebrity | August 4, 2023
I’ve seen a number of stories in recent weeks that are right outside of the periphery of what I usually cover, but the sheer amount of articles on this topic has forced me to take notice. It’s not just in the gossip pages, but on CNN, the L.A. Times, and other respectable publications. The consistent theme of these articles is this: Reality TV star Todd Chrisley — of Chrisley Knows Best fame — is finding that prison does not live up to his standards. Todd Chrisley does not care for jail, and he would like to leave now, thanks.
Imagine that! Prison is not the scenic, isolated country club that shows like Orange Is the New Black and Oz have led Todd Chrisley to believe …? According to Todd Chrisley’s kids, it’s hot in prison! And they don’t have air conditioning! In prison? You don’t say! Also, apparently, “rattlesnakes just casually slithering on the floor in front of” Julie Chrisley, Todd’s wife, who is also serving time in prison. (If true, that actually is not OK.)
The latest news, however, is that Todd Chrisley is “suffering from anxiety.” What? NO! Anxiety, in prison?! It reminds me of when my kid was sick, and I went to the doctor and told him I had anxiety, and he gave me some meds. Two months later, he checked in on me, and I told him I felt better, but still had a lot of anxiety, and told me, “That’s really just how it goes when your kid is sick. It would be odd if you weren’t experiencing anxiety.”
I feel like that probably applies to prison, too. Like, if you weren’t experiencing anxiety in prison, it would be strange. When you commit tax evasion and steal $30 million from community banks, a little anxiety seems fair! Feeling a little uncomfortable while being deprived of the amenities of the outside world also seems fair (not the snakes, though. That’s not fair at all).
Meanwhile, a spokesperson for the Bureau of Prisons told CNN that all prisoners have “unlimited access to drinking water” and that they are “monitoring the ventilation.”
See? Everything’s fine! There’s plenty of toilet water to drink and the prison folks already know it’s hot!
