Including Pajiba Love on back-to-back nights, this I believe is the 5th post about Pete Davidson in the last week. I’m sorry. I don’t know what to tell you. You keep clicking on them. Also, I keep clicking on them when I see them elsewhere. Why do I care so much about Pete Davidson? It’s like The Witcher on Netflix. I watched all eight episodes in one sitting, and I still don’t know if I liked it, but I couldn’t stop watching it.
Anyway, the reason why Pete Davidson is everywhere all of a sudden is because he has a Netflix stand-up special. It’s not been particularly well-reviewed. I watched it this morning. The reviews were basically right, although I think I better understand why Pete Davidson appeals to me, and so many of the rest of us. He’s like Kevin Smith in that he’s a f**king gossip. He knows famous people — or has interacted with them — and he will talk shit about them. There are basically three good runs in Pete Davidson: Alive from New York: The opening bit, where he talks about how much he hates Louis C.K.; an extended bit on Dan Crenshaw; and 10 minutes of him shit-talking Ariana Grande for shit-talking him.
The Crenshaw bit bleeds into the Ariana Grande spiel, and he basically explains how that whole thing happened, and how SNL more or less forced him to apologize, though he didn’t feel like he did anything wrong. Also, he resents the fact that people think he’s responsible for Crenshaw winning his district in Texas.
“The only thing I don’t like is people are, like, ‘It’s your fault that guy won’ and that’s not true. I think, like, most of the votes were in and that guy is a Republican with an eye patch in Texas. So it was a lock before it even started. The only thing I did do, which I am guilty of and I apologized for, is I did make that guy famous, and a household name for no reason. I did what Ariana Grande did for me.”
He then told that same joke in a different way, saying that he did for Crenshaw what Grande did for him: “Gave him a blow job on the set of SNL.”
Then there are ten or so minutes about Grande. It’s not great comedy. The jokes are not well constructed. But, it’s compelling. It’s like when Kevin Smith shat all over Bruce Willis after working with him on Cop Out, only Smith is a better storyteller and Davidson’s story involves marginally more penis jokes (Davidson insists that his penis is normal-sized, that it only looked large in relation to Grande’s small hands, and that she told everyone that his dick was big so that every girl who saw it in the future would be disappointed because Grande is basically a diabolical genius). You can’t look away. Davidson is working through a break-up with one of the most famous people on the planet on a stand-up special, and he’s kind of jaded because he thinks that Grande did him dirty in the tabloids after the break-up. It’s not good comedy, but it’s great People magazine fodder.
Ultimately, that’s why people — including myself — keep clicking on these Pete Davidson posts. Because it’s basically celebrity gossip directly from the source. He said the other day that he may quit SNL because he doesn’t like being made fun of — and he talked in this special about how limited his role is on the show — but I don’t know about that. SNL gives him proximity to celebrity, and that is responsible for 50 percent of his material, and 100 percent of his good material. That said, I do look forward to when he eventually does leave SNL, because I am dying to know what he really thinks of Colin Jost, Michael Che, and the rest of the cast. If anyone is gonna spill, it’s Pete Davidson.