Lindsay Lohan's Acting Is a Gift to Us All, So She Tried to Count it as Community Service
Let’s just put this out there: Lindsay Lohan can’t do anything right. Or won’t do anything right. One of the two, probably a combination thereof with a higher percentage of that second part. Here’s what’s happening in Goddammit Lindsayville right now.
Back in 2012, Lohan hit an 18-wheeler with her car and was charged with reckless driving (it was the Pink Bag incident—one of my favorites—when she tried to pay someone not to call 911 then filled a pink bag full of mystery and hid the pink bag before the cops could come). She was sentenced to 240 hours of community service. But, two years later, she’d completed less than half that. The judge gave her an extension to finish her service, and instead she went to Bora Bora and came down with a case of the mosquitoes, allegedly (I struggle to believe it) catching a mosquito-borne virus. While she was sick with mosquitoes, she took that weird jagged butt selfie. By that point, she had about a week left to do 80 hours of community service, which she somehow managed to do. And how she did that involved autograph signings and meet-and-greets, as well as allowing kids to “work-shadow” her during times she wasn’t actually working. Oh, and THEN she made Esurance pay the community service place $10,000,
so they’d totally lie for her out of the goodness of her heart because community service orgs are similar to lots of other nonprofits that people donate to all the time, except no.
Now you’re all caught up. Understandably, they’ve been combing through the rest of her service hours for more bullshit. And bullshit they have found. Like the fact she included actual performances of Speed the Plow as community service.
Law enforcement sources tell us … prosecutor Terry White has combed through the 240 hours at CSV — the London-based community service organization. White will tell the judge … on one day Lindsay got 6 hours credit, but he says 2 of the hours were for her matinee performance and another 2 were for her evening performance. The remaining 2 were for a meet-and-greet afterwards.
And we’ve learned White will tell the judge on another day CSV represents Lindsay did community service from 11 AM to 3 PM. Problem is, White says he contacted producers and the play started at 3 PM that day. Lindsay lived 6 miles from the theater and had to show up at least 35 minutes early.
So when her community service record is inevitably found to lies and deception, will she go to jail?
LOL. That’s cute. Heavens no. The judge just added 125 more hours to her total. Wonder what she’ll try to count next. Drinks with Dina? Reading to her sister Ali? Who knows!