In about 20 seconds (if that long), you are going to hate me because I somehow enticed you to click on this post. However, this tab has been open all morning, and I can’t bring myself to close it until I inflict it upon the rest of you.
I do not understand why James Corden is making a big deal out of this. I do not understand why Andrew Rannels is impressed with this. I do not understand why Gwyneth Paltrow is under the misconception that this is a unique talent. It is a talent shared by anyone who has ever listened to music. It is nothing. It is less than nothing. It is 70 seconds of build up for one of the most anticlimactic moments in late-night history. It is: Gwyneth Paltrow singing an AC/DC guitar solo with her mouth.
That is not a thing! That is not a “secret talent.” That isn’t even a talent! Maybe fancy people who eat expensive cheeses believe this is an extraordinary party trick, but to the rest of the world, this is an idle, ordinary activity we do every day in our cars.
I am sorry for putting you all through that. Let me make it up to you by showing you the trailer for Adam Sandler’s and David Spade’s new Netflix movie, The Do Over, which features a threesome between Spade and Luis Guzmán.
I don’t know how they managed to get Kathryn Hahn and Paula Patton in this film, but it makes me incredibly sad.