Aaron Rodgers (and wide receiver Alan Lazard) were fined by the NFL yesterday for not following COVID-19 protocols. Both Rodgers and Lazard were fined $14,650 apiece for attending a Halloween party while unvaccinated. The NFL prohibited unvaccinated players from attending gatherings of larger than three people. The Green Bay Packers organization was fined $300,000 because, though they didn’t host the Halloween party, the organization knew about it and looked the other way.
We don’t know how Aaron Rodgers got COVID-19, but the timing with the Halloween gathering sure lines up, doesn’t it? Frankly, he’s lucky he didn’t infect more players, especially since organizations that cannot field a team due to COVID will be forced to forfeit. In any respect, Rodgers almost certainly cost the Packers a loss over the weekend, as his backup, Jordon Love, struggled against the Kansas City Chiefs, who are not the same team they have been the last two seasons for reasons that I don’t quite understand. It was a winnable game for the Packers.
Rodgers hopes to return to the field on Sunday, pending COVID test results. He also returned to The Pat McAfee podcast yesterday, though he did not offer anything particularly new. He said he stood by statements he made last week and his support of Joe Rogan(ugh), but also said he’s been doing a lot of reflection. Being mocked by SNL and Jon Stewart, called a liar by Terry Bradshaw, and losing sponsorship deals will do that (Howard Stern also called for Rodgers to be kicked out of the NFL).
Perhaps the most bizarre thing to happen, however, was that Shailene Woodley came to Rodgers’ defense and also, um, suggested that he has a large penis after The Daily Mail posted photos purporting to be Aaron Rodgers in Los Angeles (Rodgers is in quarantine in Green Bay).
“Literally ya’ll need to calm the f**k down,” Woodley wrote on Instagram Stories next to the photos. “This is straight up HILARIOUS. News outlets STILL grasping at straws to disparage Aaron. Finding random f**king men on the streets of LA and saying its him.
“I know Aaron’s body VERY well. First off his feet, ahem and no offense to this rando dude, are a LOT bigger. Also, for those of us who know Aaron beyond the worlds of obsessed sport and sh*tty media, it’s no secret he has the hairiest hands on the f**king planet. This oblivious homie. Clearly, does not.”
Homie? Anyway, I guess that Aaron Rodgers wasn’t the ex with the “small penis” that Olivia Munn once complained about.
As Mike mentioned in Pajiba Love last night, however, Rodgers managed to make matters even worse by appearing on the Pat McAfee show sporting a Rise of Skywalker hoodie. I mean, come on! Of all the films — of all the Star Wars films — he had to stan Skywalker? That man ain’t right in the head.
Header Image Source: Pat McAfee