Here at Pajiba, we hate all men. From the writers and publisher of this very site to our fathers, husbands, friends and sons, we fuckin’ hate ‘em all. Because MISANDRY. That’s what some commenters seem to think, at least, according to the comments on this post and neat emails Dustin gets sometimes because Dustin hates men THE MOST. He just stares at himself in the mirror and smacks himself with a belt angstily like Michael Shannon in the first season of Boardwalk Empire, that’s how much he hates men.
Of course, I joke. Because, and I don’t know if you’re aware of this, but #NotAllMen. Turns out, SOME BUT NOT ALL MEN want to make sure EVERY SINGLE WOMAN IN THE WORLD knows that NOT ALL MEN are sacks of garbage and, when talking about the unspeakable horrors SOME BUT NOT ALL MEN commit on a daily basis, we should stop and give thanks, kudos and cookies to ALL THE OTHER MEN for not being SOME BUT NOT ALL MEN. They don’t even care if the cookies are pre-packaged or homemade—that’s how goodly they are! But, seriously, homemade is better.
So, just for these special snowflake SOME BUT NOT ALL MEN who aren’t at all proving exactly what they set out to deny by acting like goddamn clownshoes in an effort to tell us that not every man is a goddamn clownshoe, here’s a list of the men we’ll allow to survive the coming misandry war of lady rage. Here they are holding puppies or babies or whiskey or just doing adorable things!
Chrises Pratt and Evans
And that’s it. We’ll let SOME BUT NOT ALL MEN live. SOME BUT NOT VALAR MORGHOULIS.
Kisses! And smile more, you look so pretty when you do!