The final weekend numbers for Love Wedding Marriage, a romantic dramedy starring Mandy Moore and Kellen Lutz are out today. The directorial debut of Dermot Mulroney made $1,378. No, that is not it’s per screen average. That’s the total amount of money the film — which garnered a 0 percent on Rotten Tomatoes — made on two screens. That’ll teach Dermot Mulroney to divorce Catherine Keener.
But, let’s put that dismal box-office stat in some perspective. Remember Paris Hilton’s The Hottie or the Nottie? That movie opened in 250 theaters and only mustered $27,000. That’s a $250 per screen average. Or worse, what about Jessica Simpson’s Blonde Ambition, which opened on 8 screens and tallied $6,422, good for only a $165 per theater average. Box-office records aren’t kept for per screen averages for films that open in fewer than 100 theaters, but $165 is not the worst per screen average I could find: That belongs to the Republican propaganda film, Proud American, which opened in 750 theaters and averaged only $128 per theater. Of course, the animated film, Delgo, is perhaps the film that should feel the most shame, as it opened in over 2000 theaters and made only $237 per screen. That film only made $600,000 during its entire run, on a production budget of $40 million.
But my favorite box-office disaster is still the UK opening of Uma Thurman’s Motherhood, which opened with a whopping $131. Not per screen. I mean, $131 total. Eleven people in saw it on its opening Sunday.
So, all in all, that $678 per screen average, or even the $1,378 overall weekend total doesn’t sound so bad now, does it? After you see the trailer, however, you might wonder how it even made that much.