Box-office prognosticators are absolutely baffled this weekend after Thor: The Dark World managed to take the top spot with $86.1 million, instead of the predicted top film, Richard Curtis’ About Time, which ended up at number 9 with a little over $5 million. “This doesn’t make any damn sense whatsoever,” one studio executive remarked. “About Time had Domhnall Gleeson in the lead role. How could that miss?”
“Rachel McAdams in a sweet romantic comedy vs. Natalie Portman in a franchise blockbuster?” another confused studio executive asked. “It shouldn’t have even been a contest. I’m mystified by these box-office results.” Yet, Thor: The Dark World managed to squeak by, with a narrow $81 million gap. Even with the additional 2,600 screens for Thor: The Dark World, these results are confounding.
Hollywood is so unpredictable.
Anyway, each week for the last several years, I compile a box-office list each Monday, which basically means dissecting the numbers in (hopefully) interesting ways, and tying it back into the weekly box-office report. This week, let’s take a look at all the Avengers actors, whose box-office averages have been massively inflated by the success of the Marvel franchise. But what do those numbers look like without the box-office totals of The Avengers, the three Iron Man movies, the two Thor movies and Captain America?
Let’s take a look (average with Marvel films in parenthesis)
1. Chris Hemsworth: $47.4 million ($130 million)
2. Jeremy Renner: $47.1 million ($85 million)
3. Tom Hiddleston: $45.9 million ($171 million)
4. Sam Jackson: $38.3 million ($62 million)
5. Chris Evans: $32.8 milion ($73 million)
6. Robert Downey, Jr.: $29.7 million ($61 million)
7. Scarlett Johansson: $26.8 million ($58 million)
8. Mark Ruffalo: $25.5 million ($46 million)
9. Clark Gregg: $13.6 million ($106 million)
10. Gwyneth Paltrow: $5.8 million ($57 million)
What important information can we surmise from these results? Not much, really. It just means that actors like Hemsworth have benefited from other franchises (like a small role in Star Trek) while more veteran actors like Gwyneth Paltrow and Mark Ruffalo have taken a hit on their box-office averages because of all the low-budget films they’ve made. But don’t you feel smarter with this knowledge?
Fine. See if I do anything for you again. UNGRATEFUL HELL MONSTERS.