“You know what, Ryan. I talked to the other gay guys about it, and we all agreed, it’s OK for you to get married.”
Parks and Recreation (Grade: B+ (Episode) (F for Lack of Ron Swanson))
“She broke up with me. Didn’t really tell me why. Luckily when you’re the guy, you just tell everyone she’s crazy … that’s what they always do on ‘Entourage.’”
“Pawnee: Home of the World Famous Julia Roberts lawsuit.”
“Pawnee: First in friendliness, fourth in obesity.”
“Pawnee: Welcome Taliban soldiers.”
“Cool kids make the rules, they don’t break the rules. And if those kids want you to break the rules, they’re not really your friends.”
“If I had an hour long with Robert Pattinson, he’d forget all about Skinny Legs McGee. I tell you that much.”
“It is anti-Christian; it is pro-quivering.”
30 Rock (Grade: A- (Episode) A+ (LIz’s Pictures))
“If you don’t volumize my hair, I will choke you to death with your boyfriend’s wig.”
“Do you need sex advice? Here’s a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on.”
“Actors deserve gifts. Without us, who would present awards to actors?”
“Michael Coors is a friend. We own a gay horse together, and I convinced him to make wizard cloaks fashionable for ladies this year.”
“That would never happen if men could get pregnant, which is the premise of my one-act play, The Seahorses of Warwickshire Abby.”
“Carmen’s very sneaky, and that’s not racist because I don’t know what ethnicity she is.”
“This is where we used to host retirement parties. The balcony below is probably still littered with stripper bones.”
“There’s no way I could be pregnant because I have had my period for the last 61 days.”
“What if there was a black bar on the lower half of your television that kept you from seeing things like nudity. Or soccer … or a woman stuffing a turkey?”
“I can get you into a restaurant where you watch a child play with a bunny. And then you eat the bunny.” “Isn’t that just Easter?”
“Oh Jack, that’s so gay balls.”
Each Time You Like, Share, Tweet or Stumble a Pajiba Post, An Angel Does the Paul Rudd Dance
Hee-Parks and Rec was awesome last night. The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse.
Dustin, do you not watch Project Runway? It's Michael Kors :p
Posted by: Julie at February 4, 2011 11:03 AM
Rowles, you have seriously shortchanged last night's Community. You don't deserve Annie's four fingers.
Posted by: Porkchop Express at February 4, 2011 11:08 AM
Next time Tina Fey does a photo shoot, I call dibs on being oil boy.
Posted by: Groundloop at February 4, 2011 11:09 AM
Last night was only the second episode of Community I've seen, and I think I may be a convert. The only bad part was that we didn't get to hear the one girl (Annie?) describe her elf-seduction.
Posted by: Todd at February 4, 2011 11:09 AM
2 Things:
1) I'm sad to see that you missed the best line of the night. When Jeff Winger said, "Is there anything I'm not good at?" and Britta said, "Sex." Did you see his face? Awesome.
2) WTF, 30 Rock? Am I the only person who finds this the weakest show on Thursday night? Hell, I am ashamed to say that Outsourced is better.
Posted by: An Atlantan at February 4, 2011 11:11 AM
Posted by: Porkchop Express at February 4, 2011 11:15 AM
That list of Pawnee slogans had both of us ROLLING. And it just kept going. "Pawnee: First in Friendliness, Fourth in Obesity!"
But the Twilight thing was honestly kind of exhausting. I just wanted them to shut up about that monstrosity. Still funny, but AUGH, Twilight is everywhere.
I love that you called Michael Kors "Michael Coors". Because he's such an asshole that he deserves to have his last name typoed as a cheap beer.
I am watching these shows tonight. Its a fun game to guess which character said those quotes. For every one I get right I shall do a shot. Good times are awaiting.
Posted by: L.O.V.E. at February 4, 2011 11:23 AM
Uh, I meant last night's episode of Community.
Posted by: Marcela at February 4, 2011 11:32 AM
@An Atlantan
You are not the only one. It's schticky, self-satisfied and flat. I can NOT understand why people enjoy the show (other than, you know, different people liking different things). Whenever we watch a bit, and we never last longer than a bit, we end up just looking at each other and shrugging. I'm a Canadian and non sequitors are an intrinsic part of our humour (I artichoked a ukelele hamster!), but that doesn't mean I want a whole show of them. 30 Rock is lame. And it has similar company with Outsourced and that new Couples show.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 4, 2011 11:54 AM
Yay Community. Nice to see you back in fine form.
Is it bad that this ep made we want to play D&D again? Haven't played since I was ten and my mom tried to cast the D&D demons out of me.
Posted by: meh at February 4, 2011 12:07 PM
Perfect Couples wasn't That bad. I see it starting to work out the kinks and at least making its characters more tolerable. There were definitely some laughs last night. Particularly involving chewing tobacco and Edward Forty-hands.
30 Rock is finally hilarious again to me. Liz's photo shoot was AMAZING. How did you not include quotes from EVERYTHING she said during that shoot in your best lines list?
Posted by: valerie at February 4, 2011 12:43 PM
Michael *Kors*
sorry.
Posted by: beet salad at February 4, 2011 12:49 PM
perfect couples is not long for this world, but...
"i know how much you hate elephants" made me laugh.
Posted by: jimmy at February 4, 2011 1:56 PM
I would like to argue that the Annie/Elf-Seduction scene was funnier BECAUSE it was silent. I was dying in laughter and my less-nerdy, more-conservative wife just stared at me like I was a freak.
Unfortunately for NBC, they haven't yet capitalized on the fact that their best comedy is the first one in the block.
Posted by: BAM at February 4, 2011 2:00 PM
I really enjoyed last night's Office. The whole storyline of Holly being able to find Michael like that was really cool, and of course sweet.
Also, I'm a sucker for yellow lab puppies in a basket. Seriously, I watched that season 2 episode of Parks and Rec (puppy licking Ron's face) earlier in the day and then I saw literally the same exact puppy lick Michael Scott's face. It was surreal.
Posted by: annoyingmouse at February 4, 2011 2:02 PM
jimmy, Yes! I love the "i know how much you hate elephants" line.
Posted by: An Atlantan at February 4, 2011 2:34 PM
Hmmm am I the only one that was a little put off by last night's Community? There were some good lines, yes, but Pierce was in extra nasty mode and it got to a point where it was uncomfortable for me to watch him tear down Neil. Just me?
Posted by: Even Stevens at February 4, 2011 3:42 PM
Three cheers to you for misspelling that dickhead fashion queen's last name to read like the world's most disgusting beer.
Good on ya, mate.
Posted by: d-zo at February 4, 2011 6:29 PM
Seriously, no "Damn my Krav Maga training and lightning quick reflexes!" or "Release me you hillbilly Circe!"
Posted by: MG at February 4, 2011 6:54 PM
Even Stevens, Yeah, I'll agree that Pierce's dickishness was a little uncomfortable to watch.
Posted by: An Atlantan at February 4, 2011 7:21 PM
Hmmm am I the only one that was a little put off by last night's Community? There were some good lines, yes, but Pierce was in extra nasty mode and it got to a point where it was uncomfortable for me to watch him tear down Neil. Just me?
Posted by: Even Stevens at February 4, 2011 3:42 PM
I absolutely agree, and I find the Pierce-centric episodes weaker than the others.
Posted by: Uriah Creep at February 4, 2011 9:45 PM
Since Holly's return The Office has gotten much more watchable.
Posted by: John G. at February 5, 2011 12:02 AM
@An Atlantan
You are not the only one. It's schticky, self-satisfied and flat. I can NOT understand why people enjoy the show (other than, you know, different people liking different things). Whenever we watch a bit, and we never last longer than a bit, we end up just looking at each other and shrugging. I'm a Canadian and non sequitors are an intrinsic part of our humour (I artichoked a ukelele hamster!), but that doesn't mean I want a whole show of them. 30 Rock is lame. And it has similar company with Outsourced and that new Couples show.
Posted by: Mrs. Julien at February 4, 2011 11:54
Mrs. Julien, you are usually so right, but if you don't like community or 30 Rock what kind of comedy tv show do you like? Because either you don't like TV at all, or you're crazy.
Posted by: John G. at February 5, 2011 12:09 AM
Yeah, I wasn't feeling Community as much, but that's because I didn't dig the whole D&D overlay at first.
I LOVED Annie's silent elf seduction, though. That had me rolling. Chang, as usual, just creeped me out and not even in a good or funny way.
The Office had way more good lines than you gave them. Erin gave Holly's ears two different ratings!
And Parks and Rec is just on fire. But yeah, I need more Ron Swanson. Looks like we'll get a lot more next week, YEEE HA!
Posted by: Snuggiepants at February 5, 2011 1:10 AM
I watched Community 3 times just to make sure I got all the jokes. Things I loved that has not been mentioned yet:
The opening credit songs! With the drawings that accompanied each actors! Alison Brie got a unicorn and Chevy Chase got an ogre. Inspired!
Troy: Neill-o!
Voiceover: Abed the Undiagnosable.
Abed: I actually made that on with Troy in mind [*fun hand slaps with Troy*]
Jeff: Britta, it was an imaginary waiter.
Britta: I don't expect you to understand [said with her hurt face]
Seriously, so much of this was so good.
For 30 Rock, I loved when Liz shouted something like, "I bring forth Gaia!!!" And that whole voice-activated remote control thing was genius.
Hee-Parks and Rec was awesome last night. The Four Horsemeals of the Eggporkalypse.
Dustin, do you not watch Project Runway? It's Michael Kors :p