That's So Gay Balls
By Dustin Rowles | TV Reviews | February 4, 2011 | Comments ()
"You're the AT&T of people."
""And as they described themselves walking, Abed confirmed they walked."
"You have ... successfully rubbed your balls on the sword."
"I'm sick of you threatening me and talking to me like a kid, and giving me that look you give me like I can't get erections."
"If that's sarcasm, I can't tell because everything in this game is silly."
"Baste your chubby cheeks in tears of gravy."
"Look. Before you respond, I can make it up to you. I'll find a fatter Neal."
""Perfect Couples" probably tested better for NBC than the original title, "Boring Pile of Shit Cliches." -- Daniel Carlson
"You're making me the nag which goes completely against my artistic temperament. I'm in real estate.
Perfect Couples (Grade: D (Show); B (Music Montage))
"You know what, Ryan. I talked to the other gay guys about it, and we all agreed, it's OK for you to get married."
The Office (Grade: (C- (first 21.5 minutes) B+ (last 30 seconds)
"She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you just tell everyone she's crazy ... that's what they always do on 'Entourage.'"
"Pawnee: Home of the World Famous Julia Roberts lawsuit."
"Pawnee: First in friendliness, fourth in obesity."
"Pawnee: Welcome Taliban soldiers."
"Cool kids make the rules, they don't break the rules. And if those kids want you to break the rules, they're not really your friends."
"If I had an hour long with Robert Pattinson, he'd forget all about Skinny Legs McGee. I tell you that much."
"It is anti-Christian; it is pro-quivering."
Parks and Recreation (Grade: B+ (Episode) (F for Lack of Ron Swanson))
"If you don't volumize my hair, I will choke you to death with your boyfriend's wig."
"Do you need sex advice? Here's a tip. Sometimes a lady likes to leave her blazer on."
"Actors deserve gifts. Without us, who would present awards to actors?"
"Michael Coors is a friend. We own a gay horse together, and I convinced him to make wizard cloaks fashionable for ladies this year."
"That would never happen if men could get pregnant, which is the premise of my one-act play, The Seahorses of Warwickshire Abby."
"Carmen's very sneaky, and that's not racist because I don't know what ethnicity she is."
"This is where we used to host retirement parties. The balcony below is probably still littered with stripper bones."
"There's no way I could be pregnant because I have had my period for the last 61 days."
"What if there was a black bar on the lower half of your television that kept you from seeing things like nudity. Or soccer ... or a woman stuffing a turkey?"
"I can get you into a restaurant where you watch a child play with a bunny. And then you eat the bunny." "Isn't that just Easter?"
"Oh Jack, that's so gay balls."
30 Rock (Grade: A- (Episode) A+ (LIz's Pictures))
5 of Kristen Stewart's Most Determined Efforts to Smile | Plus, First Images from Stewart's "On the Road" |
Boogie Nights Review | You're the Cock of the Walk, Baby!