"Shove It Up Your Butt" and the Other 10 Best Lines from NBC's Thursday Night Lineup
"You could have lived the rest of your life in blissful ignorance and died a happy pan-sexual imp." -- John Goodman
The Opening Number
Parks and Recreation. B+ .A good episode in terms of setting up the season, but no one got really drunk. Especially Ron Swanson. The campaign button was super sweet, but Patricia Clarkson's arrival was a bit anti-climactic.
"I keep a sizable supply of ground chuck in my desk. Remove it or it will begin to smell." -- Ron Swanson
"If I could go back in time and cut out your eyeballs, I would." -- Chris
"I'm just now getting really good at shoe shining and I mean, I'm still pretty bad at it." -- Andy
"I don't know what you mean but it had the cadence of a joke." and "There you have it, where 'it' is the thing Leslie Knope just said about the situation." -- Perd Hapley
"You choose, Knope: hunting, fishing, or drinking." -- Ron
"I really want to shoot a gun right now." -- Leslie
"Fishing it is." -- Ron
"That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don't know if he has mumps. I was distracted. By the largest penis I have ever seen." -- Doctor
The Office A-. I would not have predicted that "The Office" would have the best season premiere of the three, but James Spader was magnificent, Ed Helms is the perfect Leslie Knopian choice, and Jim's list in the end was classic Jim and Pam. I really think that Spader can inject new life into the show. Unfortunately, there weren't really any great lines, save for one:
"Shove it up your butt." -- Stanley
Over on Uproxx, you can also see the Planking sequence in GIF form.
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