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"Shove It Up Your Butt" and the Other 10 Best Lines from NBC's Thursday Night Lineup

By Dustin Rowles | TV | September 23, 2011 |

By Dustin Rowles | TV | September 23, 2011 |

Community. B. A decent season opener, but not brilliant save for Abed’s “Cougar Town” subplot and the presence, alone, of Michael K. Williams and John Goodman. But, it was good to finally see Pierce redeemed. Here’s to a kindler, gentler more likable Pierce in season 3.

  • “It’s probably the monkey that lives in the vents. I named him ‘Annie’s Boobs.’ After Annie’s boobs.” — Troy

  • “This is intro to biology. I’m your professor Dr. Marshall Kane, PhD.” Dr. Marshall Kane, PhD (Not because of the line, but because of who delivered it.)

  • “Time flies when you’re joking around about movie titles that sound like the names of poops.” — Jeff

    — Troy “Remains of the Day.”

    — Jeff “Operation Dumbo Drop.”

    (See our own incredibly extensive list of Poop Fiction movie titles)

  • “You could have lived the rest of your life in blissful ignorance and died a happy pan-sexual imp.” — John Goodman

    The Opening Number

    Parks and Recreation. B+ .A good episode in terms of setting up the season, but no one got really drunk. Especially Ron Swanson. The campaign button was super sweet, but Patricia Clarkson’s arrival was a bit anti-climactic.

  • “I keep a sizable supply of ground chuck in my desk. Remove it or it will begin to smell.” — Ron Swanson

  • “If I could go back in time and cut out your eyeballs, I would.” — Chris

  • “I’m just now getting really good at shoe shining and I mean, I’m still pretty bad at it.” — Andy

  • “I don’t know what you mean but it had the cadence of a joke.” and “There you have it, where ‘it’ is the thing Leslie Knope just said about the situation.” — Perd Hapley

  • “You choose, Knope: hunting, fishing, or drinking.” — Ron

    “I really want to shoot a gun right now.” — Leslie

    “Fishing it is.” — Ron

  • “That man has the largest penis I have ever seen. I actually don’t know if he has mumps. I was distracted. By the largest penis I have ever seen.” — Doctor

    The Office A-. I would not have predicted that “The Office” would have the best season premiere of the three, but James Spader was magnificent, Ed Helms is the perfect Leslie Knopian choice, and Jim’s list in the end was classic Jim and Pam. I really think that Spader can inject new life into the show. Unfortunately, there weren’t really any great lines, save for one:

  • “Shove it up your butt.” — Stanley

    Over on Uproxx, you can also see the Planking sequence in GIF form.

    The Last Gladiators Review: F*ck 'Em Up, F*ck 'Em Up, F*ck 'Em Up | "Revenge," It Turns Out, Is A Dish Best Served Hot. Like, Supremely Smoking Hot.

    Dustin is the founder and co-owner of Pajiba. You may email him here, follow him on Twitter, or listen to his weekly TV podcast, Podjiba.