Pajiba

you built that entire list around #1, didn't you?

She's stalking your FACE, Slim.

Man, I had successfully repressed all knowledge of Exit To Eden. Why did you have to do that? I just ate lunch.

I will raise an eyebrow at #10 only because I have dated someone a full foot+ taller than me who was more than twice my weight. It's all about angles. And heels.

I frequently find myself wondering if the pairings in movies aren't some sort of living wet dream for the director/casting director/writer. It's more obvious in Woody Allen's case, but I'm thinking there's a lot of guys out there who really want to believe that supermodel beautiful women will cherish their troll-looking asses for their "personality". Except the guys who think that way tend to have shitty personalities.

I second the thought of building around the #1. But that was funny. And Billy Balls did get with AJ, so maybe the smoking hot hotness that is Ms. Berry would work for him in real life.

"Woody Allen does not belong on this list because he actually does get great looking ass...."

Yeah, especially if they are minors...and related to him.

Hey, I agree that Allen is creepy as hell from a sexual standpoint. But, he does make the pairings work in real life. Louise Lasser, Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow, need I go on?

I agree with it being unrealistic to see Katherine Heigl with Seth Rogen, normally, Katherine Heigl eats her mates after copulation, starting with the head.

(Yes, that is a double entendre.)

Watching Exit to Eden made me a fan, FOR LIFE, of Dana Delaney's muff.

True Story

"Louise Lasser, Diane Keaton, Mia Farrow, need I go on?"

Yes, until you get to someone who is actually hot.

Absolutely, G(aR). Notice that we never see, say, Kathy Bates hooking up with somebody like Tyrese Gibson. On other hand, it's not all that uncommon to see some willowy goddess on the arm of some knuckle-dragging troll 30 years her senior. Maybe this isn't a function of Hollywood wish fulfillment, but Hollywood reality? If starlets stopped fucking wizened, dessicated producers, this list wouldn't exist.

Two couples on your list had relationships in real life. This should be worth considering the next time you make a list that proposses "...would never work in real life."

Great list, but I really can't believe you didn't include Adam Sandler in here. Fucking NONE of his onscreen partners has ever been believable. MAYBE Drew Barrymore, because she's kind of silly like that. And maybe Emily Watson, because their characters were perfect for each other. But...come on, look at this:

1) Kate Beckinsale
2) Marissa Tomei (jeebus)
3) Jessica Biel
4) Tea Leoni
5) Paz Vega
6) Winona Ryder
7) Joey Lauren Adams
8) Drew Barrymore (50 First Dates)
9) Julie Bowen
10) Patricia Arquette

I mean FUCK. How does that turdfaced loser get those co-stars? I mean...I'm all about the looks aren't all, but not only is Adam Sandler HIDEOUS, but he's also a ginormous douchebag. And his characters, too! so...what the fuck? None of those women would give that dude a second look in real life. They're all gorgeous and probably bitchy. Jeebus, at least Seth Rogen is sort of cute. So, I call bullshit on trying to make us believe that any of those couples could EVER happen.

Not to mention the fact that most of those actresses have had their careers completely fizz out after they've been in a movie with Sandler. Coincidence? I THINK NOT. I think they just lost all credibility after them.

Fuck Adam Sandler. Rant over.

I second on the cuteness/womanly beauty of Diane Keaton. Way cuter than her brother Michael anyway.
And I would Nuh-EVER trust a grown man who calls himself 'Woody'. Dan and Rosie? Buuurf!
And I also second (third? Fifty fourth?) the moratorium on Zooey. It's like that asshole in high school who went on and on about how great Leonard Cohen was, and the poetry, and the BLAM!! BLAM! STAB!STAB!. It took me 25 years to come around on that. Don't make me kill again.

I like Exit to Eden.

Shut up. Hot guy with cute ass gets spanked. Dana Delaney is naked. What's not to like, exactly?

That wouldn't work because Dan Aykroyd is straight.

I'm sorry: did someone say sex???

Adam Sandler is tepid artistic pablum.

I frequently find myself wondering if the pairings in movies aren't some sort of living wet dream for the director/casting director/writer.

You don't really "wonder" about that, do you? You know that is absolutely, unquestionably the case, right?

Mohaski- it was a joke actually. Albeit a lame one.

Posted by: figgy at August 6, 2009 4:18 PM

Whoa! No need to turn all Wall-E on his ass? What the hell did Sandler do to anybody aside from making a few shitty movies?

Anyhow, I have no clue how Woody Allen ever gets laid. He's a friggin weirdo?

You're crazy on the Jack Black - Kate Winslet pairing, that's the only thing that made that movie watchable - those two being endearing together. The disaster was the Jude Law-Cameron Diaz relationship, which was just painful, nails-on-a-chalkboard screen time.

You're crazy on the Jack Black - Kate Winslet pairing, that's the only thing that made that movie watchable - those two being endearing together. The disaster was the Jude Law-Cameron Diaz relationship, which was just painful, nails-on-a-chalkboard screen time.

Seth Rogen and Elisabeth Banks.
Seth Rogen and Anna Faris.
Seth Rogen and anyone, for that matter.

My vote for cutest onscreen couple? Cillian Murphy and Lucy Liu.

Mansquito is one of those elusive movies that I can never seem to catch. That, and Sharks in Venice.

I've not seen Mansquito, but Sharks in Venice is AWESOME.

Hey! I would totally go out with Seth Rogan.

I disagree on #'s 6 and 8.

For #5 is it just the fact that the acting sucks in that movie, or is it maybe their character's relationship in the movie. Because they are both reasonably attractive young adults so by looks/age alone I don't see why it's so unbelievable.

I definitely known some pretty, er, ... interesting couples in my life though.

I'm constantly bummed out by on-screen couples that try my ability to suspend disbelief.

The funniest instance of this was in Being John Malkovich, an excellent movie to be sure, but I could not see Catherine Keener and Cameron Diaz's characters getting together in any way. I just couldn't believe it despite the fact that I was completely willing to accept that there could be a tunnel that led to John Malkovich's head.

Sadly most of you folks look like Seth Rogen

Rosie O'Donnell.

Oh sweet mother of all that is merciful. I need to pour something caustic into my eyes now.