Pajiba

This is a fabulous list, I must say.

Fantastic.

But you forgot the "PARTY ON, DUDES" bit.

#5 is the way I look at everything. It's the only way I can be so perky all the time.

Rather than combing through the entire comedy oeuvre of the '80's, I cull what little wisdom I have from Chris Knight of "Real Genius" -- although I generally get a blank stare when I tell someone that going to the bathroom isn't going to help their confidence.

"Coughlin's law: never tell tales about a woman. No matter how far away she is, she'll always hear you." - Cocktail

“Dustin. you have such a good head on your shoulders. How do you keep your sanity? You’re so wise! What’s your secret?”

The White Boy Boogie (tm). Don't lie, I know your secret.

(Also, that Heathers quote is one of my favorites of all time.)

Goonies never say die!

They think you're moody, make 'em think you're crazy. Make 'em think you might snap. They say you got attitude, you show 'em some real attitude.

--Mark Hunter, Pump up the Volume

(May not be an 80's movie though, I think it came out in 1990)

All from REPO MAN:

"The more you drive, the less intelligent you are." - Miller

"No one is innocent." - Agent Rogers

"Managing a pop group is no job for a man." - Lite

"There's fuckin' room to move as a fry cook." - Kevin

"Look at 'em, ordinary fucking people, I hate 'em." - Bud

"No matter where you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Bonzai

Great list. I'd add: "If someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES!"

It's why I have so many worshipers. And by worshipers, I mean my roommate when I buy her Pizza Rolls as a surprise.

Yeah, pissant, lets ignore every well written movie review, every guide, and every trade roundup, and focus on a silly list that Dustin posted for fun. How dare he!!!

"No matter where you go, there you are." - Buckaroo Bonzai
Posted by: CptCrckpot at July 8, 2009 3:56 PM

Ha! Excellent addition. I literally say this *at least* once a week.

Things I learned from Late 80's Gangster Rap: Ice Cube will swarm on any motherfucker in a blue uniform.

It's why I have so many worshipers. And by worshipers, I mean my roommate when I buy her Pizza Rolls as a surprise.

Damn, you buy her Pizza Rolls? I worship at the Altar of Julie, and I get is random late-night gropings and drunk text messages.

I demand Pizza Rolls, woman!

"well written movie review"

Oh, I don't ignore the well written ones.

Julie,
How can I best explain this...I've seen too many good tv shows, bands, etc. descend into banality, and I don't want it to happen to this site. The signal to noise ratio is dropping and the rate of acceleration has been increasing for some time now. If everyone else is cool with mediocrity(and most people are) then my little rants will get buried under a sea of posts that closely resemble an AIM chat as more and more people flock to this site to pass the time. Don't worry, it'll all take care of itself.

I speak because I care.

I was trying to think of what quintessential comedic 80s film wisdom was missing from this list, and it just came to me: Jack Burton!

Take your pick...

"Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right in the eye and says, 'Give me your best shot. I can take it.'"

"Ol' Jack always says...what the hell."

"Now I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on, and a man would have to be some kind of fool to think we're all alone in this universe."

"Like I told my last wife, I said, 'Honey, I never drive faster than I can see. Besides it's all in the reflexes.'"

"Could you stop rubbing your body up against mine? 'Cause I can't concentrate when you do that."

"When some wild-eyed, eight-foot-tall maniac grabs your neck, taps the back of your favorite head up against the barroom wall, looks you crooked in the eye and asks you if ya paid your dues, you just stare that big sucker right back in the eye, and you remember what ol' Jack Burton always says at a time like that: 'Have ya paid your dues, Jack?' 'Yessir, the check is in the mail.'"

"You've got a tongue, Dave. Ask her yourself."

WHAT!!! NOTHING FROM BUCKAROO?!

ahem, sorry for the out burst, but c'mon, please. the most sage advice ever:

Hey, hey, hey, hey-now. Don't be mean; we don't have to be mean, cuz, remember, no matter where you go, there you are.

and i'm not even ashamed to say that this has been the guiding philosophy of my entire life.

"It drives just like a truck!"

"Fine-what is truck?"

It's the delivery of that line that kills me.

"I KNEW you were solid!"

You people are all old, apparently.

Couple more years and we'll have a 90's list, then it's my time to shine!

Go, Ninja, Go Ninja, GO!

Personally I think this might be the best motivational speech from an 80's comedy, and probably all you will need to succeed in life:

I give you the coach's speech from Johnny Be Good:

"Dear lord, we pray that we may win this game today. We ask that you give us the strength and the courage to win our 2nd straight state championship. We ask lord that nobody on our side is seriously injured. We know that we are the best team. We ask that you allow us to win this game. The lord wants you to put your foot on their balls and believe in it, because that's what wins football games. Not jumping offsides like a bunch of wimps and faggots. Alright lift your heads boys, prayers over. I talked to god. I'm thru talking to god, now I'm talking to you. You're gonna be out there in front of your families, the student body, every girl you ever had a hard on for is gonna be out there today but you will not be going to no sock-hop tonight boys, you will not get no honey on your stinger if you don't go out there and bust your ass. Because this is it. This is the big one. I want you to taste it. I want you to smell it son. There's winners and there's nothing else. I don't give a shit what those pinkos over in Russia say. You want to be a loser you go live in Russia. I'm not a loser. I'm a winner. I'm an American. Who wants to be John Wayne? Who wants to grab a root and hang on? Who wants to get a mean on? Get a mean on son. Let me see you get a mean on son. Now who wants it? I want to know, who wants this? Who wants to get a mean on? Who wants it? Let's go! "

"Anything more than a handful is a waste."
Weird Science.

"Not all of us who drink are poets. Some of us drink because we're not poets. "
Arthur

Elwood: It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tanks of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses.
Jake: Hit it.
Blues Brothers

"The world needs ditch diggers too."
Caddyshack

"We must all do what we must do, for if we do not, then what we must do does not get done."
Volunteers

"Two weeks."
The Money Pit

The signal to noise ratio is dropping and the rate of acceleration has been increasing for some time now. If everyone else is cool with mediocrity(and most people are) then my little rants will get buried under a sea of posts that closely resemble an AIM chat as more and more people flock to this site to pass the time.

Wow. Even for this site, that is a particularly astounding amount of hipster in there.

"But first, I'd like to butter your muffin..." Chett, to Lisa, Weird Science.

The sky is FALLING, BARBARIANS ARE AT THE GATE!! Pajiba's downfall OH MY GOD!

Listen, I declared this little known web shithole over YEARS AGO.

Anything from Bull Durham. Ya gotta work on your clichés.

Bouncer at CATS: Love's a bitch, Duck. Love's a bitch.

Iona: Andie, hon. Listen, it's after 7:00. Don't waste good lip gloss.

Andie: If somebody doesn't believe in me, I can't believe in them. Pretty in Pink

Amanda Jones: I'd rather be with someone for the wrong reasons then alone for the right.

Watts: It's better to swallow pride than blood.

Duncan: We're gonna bring this party up to a nice respectable level. Don't worry, we're not gonna hurt anyone. We're not even gonna touch 'em. We're just gonna make 'em cry a little, just by lookin' at 'em. Some Kind of Wonderful

Lana: Go to school, Joel. Learn something.

Joel Goodson: It seems to me that if there were any logic to our language, trust would be a four letter word.

Miles: Joel, you wanna know something? Every now and then say, "What the fuck." "What the fuck" gives you freedom. Freedom brings opportunity. Opportunity makes your future. Say "what the fuck."... If you can't say it, you can't do it.
BEST ADVICE EVER!

Risky Business

Vermillion,
Gotta say, I still don't get the hipster tag. And I don't think I said "sell out", but that is hardly hipster. But whatever, to each his own when it comes to hipster defining.

There is a difference between changing and losing your way*, and I don't wanna see this site turn into TMZ. If this devolves into a state where it can be summarized by "Oh noes, Rainbow Killer is gonna adopt an African baby! Let's fire up the murder tank, y'all!" I feel that the internet will have lost something special.

"You have made it clear that you only want movie reviews"

"Scathing Reviews, Bitchy People" - I like the book reviews, and I got nothin' against the music and TV.

* - obviously, debatable, but I think you know where I stand on that issue

OK, I'm done with the hipster stuff. I don't really care. Though, I'd say "anything deviating from their standard is a slippery slope towards banality" is more idealistic, which I'd be fine with.

Christ, I never said ONLY movie reviews. In fact, I stated that I like the book reviews a few comments up. Those and the TV and music ones fit under "reviews". This post, however, does not. And "Scathing, uh, stuff, Bitchy People" just doesn't have the same ring to it.

My point? I don't know. There's a comment box here, I'm using it. If you'd like an answer to your question, perhaps you should figure out what you are trying to accomplish by arguing with me. The answers would be quite similar, I suspect.

My point? I don't know. There's a comment box here, I'm using it. If you'd like an answer to your question, perhaps you should figure out what you are trying to accomplish by arguing with me. The answers would be quite similar, I suspect.

And that right there is my reason for arguing. If you were simply trying to rant and rave that is fine, but you write like you were actually trying to change things. So I question your reasons for doing so. I honestly wonder why anybody would continue to suffer through something they don't enjoy when they have the option of bypassing it.

But you can't complain about people blowing off steam and doing non-substantive stuff on a site, only to admit you were pretty much doing the same.

Vermillion,
Well, I have addressed Dustin directly several times. I would actually hope that this stuff is no longer posted, though I don't suspect that will happen.

And I suffer through it because I want to make sure that I feel my rants are valid. And I rant because I want to attempt to maintain that quality that is here. Once again, I don't think it will actually happen, because everyone seems to enjoy them.

dammitjanet,
"So, if you don't like reading the comment diversions, DON'T READ THEM!" If you don't like reading my comments, DON'T READ THEM! See what I did there? I mean, seriously, you think I haven't heard that "argument" already?

Well, I have addressed Dustin directly several times. I would actually hope that this stuff is no longer posted, though I don't suspect that will happen.

Either you want something to change or you don't. You say you addressed these things with Dustin, which belies a real intent on changing the site. But when pressed before, you say that you just want to vent, as expressed here:

My point? I don't know. There's a comment box here, I'm using it.

So do you have a point or don't you? Or do you simply like pestering people about stuff you don't like, with no real intention of changing a thing?

It is like that old saying: insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. It is clear that you are aware that your opinion is a minority one at this point. And despite your personal feeligs, you aren't responsible for the site. You don't pay the bills, and you don't really offer any alternative besides the vague call for "more reviews" (which has been done, by the way, just not to your liking).

So why labor under the delusion that you have to do anything to "save" the site? They are apparently careening along the way they wish. If you like it fine, if you don't, whatever. This isn't a monopoly or a dictatorship; if something displeases you, you are more than free to explore other options. Don't let some phantom sense of loyalty hold you to something you don't enjoy.

If you don't like reading my comments, DON'T READ THEM! See what I did there? I mean, seriously, you think I haven't heard that "argument" already?

It is a valid argument, no quotation marks, and restatement isn't a counter.

Oh, pissy....I'm already IN the diversion, READING the comments....therefore, I am going to see yours. Your complaint seems to be about the DIVERSION post itself. So, you left a word out of my sentence....I said comment DIVERSION, not just comments. My point was that if you are unhappy with this sort of post, DON'T READ THE ENTIRE POST, not just the comments.

Oh, can't we all just get along?

Vermillion,
I'm not saying that your statements are invalid or that you shouldn't be commenting or anything. You asked what my intent was and I thought it was pretty obvious that my intent was your intent. We're both just trying to convince someone else of something via comments on a website. I enjoy the discourse.

I agree, it is selfish. I think the site would be better if the quality of the posts was better. Of course, "better" is subjective. Some people think the more people that visit and participate the better the site is. I disagree. But it all hinges on your definition of better.

Pajiba can do whatever they(it?) wants. I'm fully aware of this. I would imagine that they operate in a mix between doing what they want to do and giving the visitors what they want. Well, I'm using these comment boxes to voice my opinion. And I never said that my opinion matters more than yours or Pajiba's.

I restated it to show how ridiculous it was. A restatement was all that was required for that. I said, "This is bad because of X." Had they said, "No, it is not because of Y" that would have been a valid argument. But, they just said, "Don't read it." They didn't respond to my argument. If their response had been, "Well, you're an asshole", I wouldn't feel the need to respond to that. It's analogous to an ad hominem argument.

Ah, dammitjanet, the oft feared but rarely seen adam sandler hominem argument. I shall not spar with such a master.

"I want my 2 dollars!"
- Paper boy, Better Off Dead

pissant - just shut the fuck up, you're being a douche nozzle.