The Five Most Seriously Effed Up Movie Premises of All Time
A Seriously Random List /
Dustin Rowles
Seriously Random Lists | September 8, 2009 | Comments (62)
5. Boxing Helena: Nick Cavanaugh is a lonely Atlanta surgeon obsessed with a girl named Helena. After she is injured in a grievous hit-and-run motor vehicle accident in front of his home, he kidnaps and treats her in his house surreptitiously, amputating both of her legs. Later, he amputates her healthy arms as well. Though Helena is the victim of Nick’s kidnapping and mutilation, she dominates the dialogue with her constant emasculating ridicule of him for all of his shortcomings. After some time living together she becomes lonely and returns his affection.
4. Crash: Since a road accident left him with serious facial and bodily scarring, a former TV scientist has become obsessed by the marriage of motor-car technology with what he sees as the raw sexuality of car-crash victims. The scientist, along with a crash victim he has recently befriended, sets about performing a series of sexual acts in a variety of motor vehicles, either with other crash victims or with prostitutes whom they contort into the shape of trapped corpses. Ultimately, the scientist craves a suicidal union of blood, semen, and engine coolant, a union with which he becomes dangerously obsessed.
3. Quid Pro Quo: Isaac Knott is a public radio reporter in New York, in a wheelchair since an auto accident in which his parents died. He’s on the rebound from a relationship when he gets a tip about people who want to be disabled, who offer money to interns to cut off a limb. He searches out a group of these wannabes, but none will talk to him. Then he meets his tipster, Fiona Ankany, an art conservator, attractive and attracted to him. She discloses her desire to be disabled, to be in a wheelchair.
2. The Human Centipede: First Sequence: Internationally respected Siamese twin surgeon Dr. Josef Heiter has a demented vision for mankind’s future existence. He wants to remove human beings’ kneecaps so they have to exist on all fours and then surgically graft them mouth-to-anus to form a centipede chain. When two stranded female Americans arrive at his luxury home-cum-hospital looking for help, his long-gestating plan swiftly moves into chilling action with a shocking force. Kidnapping a third Japanese male tourist, he begins the tissue matches, teeth removal, and buttock moulding to create his triplet creature.
1. I Now Pronounce Chuck and Larry: Brooklyn firefighters Larry Valentine and Chuck Levine have watched each other’s back since they met in the Academy even though they are different as can be. Playboy Chuck can’t get enough of the ladies and they can’t get enough of him. Larry, meanwhile, is a widower raising two young children and still grieving the death of his wife. When Larry saves Chuck’s life on a call, he comes up with a unique way for his buddy to repay him: having missed the opportunity to name his children beneficiaries, he asks Chuck to act as his domestic partner so that his children will be provided for if tragedy strikes. But these two buddies soon find themselves the subject of an investigation by the city. Enter Alex McDonough, their highly attractive attorney who leaves Chuck desperately wishing he wasn’t pretending to be gay. Initially, Chuck and Larry are as guilty of making stereotypical gay jokes as the next average Joe. In fact, pretty much any and every gay joke and stereotype turns up in this film. But their attitudes change when the shoe is on the other foot and they find themselves and their new gay friends the subject of discrimination, mocking and name-calling.
Comments
Posted by: Anna von Beaverplatz at September 8, 2009 2:13 PM
Dustin! I think you just wanted an excuse to put that picture up again.
Spader was so hot in that Crash. So was Holly Hunter. Is it wrong that I think that? Also, is it wrong that I occasionally pop that movie in the DVD for the sexy-times? Hm.