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The Best F*cking News Team Ever: Bone Ranking "The Daily Show" Correspondents

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | July 17, 2013 | Comments ()


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There aren’t any real rules here except to say that I focused *mainly* on the current correspondents. Because my love is a fickle, fleeting thing. So here they are, in order of bangability, The Best F*cking News Team Ever. You take that catchphrase anyway you like.

10. This Stephen/Steven Sandwich: And everything inbetween.
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9. Olivia Munn: Obviously Munn belongs higher on my No-Context Bangable list, but she was a terrible correspondent and has only recently caught my eye. So, #9 with a caveat.
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8. Kristen Schaal: I couldn’t get behind Schaal for years and years. But between her epic Wendy Davis tribute and an amazing appearance on the podcast “How Did This Get Made?” I get it now. I’m on board.
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7. Al Madrigal: Al’s a local San Francisco boy, so how could I not?
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6. Samantha Bee: Folks suggested Bee should come as a matched set with her husband, Jason Jones. But I’d rather have Bee and her glorious hair all to myself.
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5. John Oliver : This reedy Brit has done an amazing job holding down the fort in Jon Stewart’s absence. For that and for his general Harry Potter demeanor, I rank him fifth.
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4. Jason Jones: Much love for the other half of the Bee-Jones package. The salt and pepper half.
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3. Aasif Mandvi: Mandvi is a tall drink of water. I whole-heartedly approve.
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2. Wyatt Cenac: Cenac was always one of the more dapper correspondents and his subsequent work (particularly the little-seen Medicine For Melancholy) has done nothing to tarnish the sexy. He almost made it to #1.
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1. Jessica Williams: With a mother*cking bullet.
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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • BlackRabbit

    Al Madrigal needs an extra point just fro his awesome name.

  • Maddy

    I agree that Olivia Munn was a terrible correspondent but being the only bearable part of the Newsroom made me forgive her

  • SottoVoce

    Excellent job of ranking--and you for including Wyatt.

  • SottoVoce

    He's no longer part of the BFNTE, but I liked Rob Riggle.

  • Maddy

    Kristen Schaal has always and forever been awesome. Have you not seen Flight of the Conchords????

  • with_club_sauce

    How the balls is Olivia Munn ranked higher than the Stephen/Steve sandwich?

  • foolsage

    À chacun son goût.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Upvoted for Merry Widow reference. (also, Merry Widow would probably look better in an actual merry widow.)

  • e jerry powell

    BUZZZ!

    Thanks for playing, we have some lovely parting gifts for you backstage...

    "Chacun à son goût," Die Fledermaus, Johann Strauss II.

    Trivia is a blood sport, people.

  • foolsage

    The phrase works (and has literary references) in both forms. Similarly, we could say in English, "Each to their taste" or "To each their taste".

    Y'all are solid on the allusions.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    You know, I was going back and forth, and I should've know it was Fleder, because I was associating it with the Champagne song too.

    Always the way for me - I overplay my trivia hand. That's all right. A little humility is a good way to start the weekend.

  • e jerry powell

    All that 19th century operetta in German is very difficult to keep up with, I know. I always want to include Fille du Regiment, but they keep telling me that it's just comic opera, not operetta.

  • Lauren_Lauren

    Yes, Jessica! She has such pretty eyes.

    Oh. Oh, that's not what you're looking at, is it?

    I'll just show myself out.

  • Ages ago, I had the biggest crush on Ed Helms during his time as a correspondent. Something about him with those glasses on... but then he turned up as Andy on The Office and just like that, my crush completely dissipated.

  • Ruthie O

    Ughhhhh why was this not posted before voting for the Pajiba 10? Excuse me, I have to go find all the bridges. ALL OF THEM.

  • Kala

    Wyatt is one of the most dapper bastards I've ever seen. He is incredibly sexy, but man, I would love to go on a date with Al Madrigal.

  • Dennis Albert Ramirez

    sam bee, all day

  • foolsage

    Schaal doesn't belong on the list, because she's a contributor and not a correspondent. She's awesome but rules are rules, meant to be mindlessly applied by the pedantic.

    In her place though, there's really no excuse not to list the Daily Show's Senior Replacement Correspondent: Sir Patrick Stewart. I'm aghast at the lack of love y'all are showing there.

    There is no room for argument about that top slot though. Daaaaayum.

  • foolsage

    Just watched Sir Patrick's performance again. Man that was a funny bit.

    "Your correspondents, emboldened by the NFL labor dispute, have also gone on strike. Until then, we replacement correspondents: myself, Pacino, Glenn Close, and as always, the incomparable Mandy Patinkin, as Aasif Mandvi, will attempt to hold down the fort."

    http://www.thedailyshow.com/wa...

  • Seriously. I would put the Senior Replacement Correspondent at the top of my list, ahead of Jason Jones and then John Oliver. The others we can just put in a different order.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Riggle is a slab of a man.

  • e jerry powell

    BETH LITTLEFORD.

    Dammit.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I just watched an archive video with her in it, one of Daily Show's from way way back. Hilarious.

  • e jerry powell

    One of the few things that makes me happy to be old is all the memories.

  • emmalita

    Wyatt Cenac is my number one, even if he is from Dallas. But I wouldn't kick any of them out of bed.

  • apsutter

    Wyatt and Aasif are the best. I still can't get into Kristen because her voice is like nails on a chalkboard for me. She and Al Madrigal will be touring with the Funny or Die tour this summer so that's pretty cool.

  • PaddyDog

    Yes. Kristen Schaal's voice is a real problem for me. I think there is a certain kind of female performer who cultivates that kind of voice in order to create a quirky comedy persona.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I like Schaal sometimes - she really goes all out - but yes, the voice is annoying. Even somewhat on Bob's Burgers. It works, but it's still unpleasant to listen to.

  • apsutter

    Yes, and I hate it

  • fauxhawk

    Mandvi, Cenac and COLBERT FOREVER. I have to add John Oliver. He's so, so funny. I love him on the Bugle, too. Referring to the "fight" about gun control, he said that Congress "folded like an origami asshole," and I've loved him ever since.

  • lowercase_see

    Yes, Wyatt Cenac. I want a mustache ride.

  • Aasif Mandvi was the guest of honor at the Indian Cultural Dinner at my university a few years ago. For the record, he's way hotter in person. Way, way hotter. Anyway, tons of alumni and donors come to the annual cultural dinner (different cultures each year), and I'm not sure the folks who booked him thought it through. Mandvi was, of course, charming and interesting and funny as hell, but his language might have been a bit blue for the pearl-wearing set. My husband and I had a great time, both listening to Mandvi tell great stories and watching the shocked faces as he casually said "fuck." Well worth the $12 ticket. Even the food was good.

  • fauxhawk

    I think I'm love. He's sooo sexy.

  • Conor

    Good call, Joanna, she's the only one who could have topped the list.

    Also, I gotta put this out there:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • John W

    No love for the Senior Black Correspondent?

  • blacksred

    I was scrolling to see if he was mentioned!

  • Joey.blowey

    Exactly. Why in the holy fuck is Larry NOT on this list?
    His exclusion makes this list/article Null and Void.

  • indarchandra

    That Larry Wilmore is amazballs there is not doubt, but for me, if it's a question of which I want to take home and do unspeakable things to, Wyatt Cenac wins. Wilmore is cool, but our love is a platonic one.

  • emmalita

    I feel like I could learn a lot from Larry Wilmore in the lascivious thoughts department. He strikes me as a man who knows what's going on.

  • toblerone

    YES! Larry Wilmore. Second.

    *And Lewis Black.

  • Pants-are-a-must

    And they still wonder why people have sex to that show. Let me sing you the song about how hot people making smart political/social commentary masquerading as a bunch of sarcastic jokes is the greatest kink.

  • lowercase_ryan

    well done. The Daily Show has provided more candidates for my "people I really want to get drunk with" list than any other source.

    Pajiba is a close second.

  • Wow, Pajibans be sucking up you, @lowercase_ryan:disqus. Now, about that drink....

  • toblerone

    9. Olivia Munn inserts John Hodgman

    PC's deserve love too...

  • Dumily

    Where's my Pajiba 10, you assholes?

  • Mrs. Julien

    I predicted this impatience. I'm quite chuffed to see it come to fruition.

  • BWeaves

    Give'em some time. They're using an abacus.

  • e jerry powell

    I thought it was I Ching coins, but it's all the same part of the world.

  • PaddyDog

    Aasif Mandvi is my number one. No contest.

    Honorable second place for John Oliver just because he's a Liverpool FC fan.

  • I think you confused your numbers, John Oliver is totally number one. He's got the best eyebrows in the business. When he smiles my heart does a puppy dance. And just look at the hair on his hands. You know his pinstripe suit is masking a thatch of chest hair that would make Mark Ruffalo cry.

  • qivucuzusywa

    мy coυѕιɴ ιѕ мαĸιɴɢ $51/нoυr oɴlιɴe. υɴeмployed ғor α coυple oғ yeαrѕ αɴd prevιoυѕ yeαr ѕнe ɢoт α $1З619cнecĸ wιтн oɴlιɴe joв ғor α coυple oғ dαyѕ. ѕee мore αт...­ ­ViewMore----------------------...

    Ages ago, I had the biggest crush
    on Ed Helms during his time as a correspondent. Something about him
    with those glasses on... but then he turned up as Andy on The Office and
    just like that, my crush completely dissipated.

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