Pajiba

Clearly, The Human Centipede is based on The Very Hungy Caterpillar. That sucker is going to explode at the box office, eating all of our hard earned money and growing bigger and bigger with every sequel, just like when you turn the page in the book. It's not like America hasn't embraced a faceful of shit before. It's why no Stephen King books are able to appear on this list.

Why did you just list them?! It's like dogs smelling hamburger; they'll be on to the scent of "books that we can turn into shitty movies" in no time! ARGH!!!!!!

Oh, and if they touch a Beverly Cleary, shit's gonna get ugly. I give the Ramona series on PBS a slide, because Sarah Polley played Ramona.

Strange that no one has touched Things Fall Apart.

Tuesdays With Morrie has been a stage production for a while now. The theatre I work at is doing it in the next few weeks actually.

It's only a matter of time before it's a movie.

Pillars of the Earth was such a monumental piece of shit--and I mean that both literally and figuratively since the thing is a fucking gigantic brick. The whole thing is like...awkward dialogue and cliche narrative and one-dimensional characters and they'll all be standing around, awkwardly chatting about whatever cliche thing is happening and all of a sudden one character would be like, "Omg, Mr. Tortured Artist Hero Protagonist, the arch on that church being built is so revolutionary" and another character would be like, "It's funny you say that, Generic Child Character Who Asks Leading Questions, because let me tell you in extreme detail about why this is being built this way, and what it means architecturally, even though this conversation in no way relates to what was just taking place."

You're not Ayn Rand, ok??? The whole...the whole damn architecture theme in The Fountainhead was to make a point (a very long-winded point, but still). It wasn't just to awkwardly structure a completely generic and poorly written fantasy novel around the overly-detailed, arcane and, frankly, boring facts behind the history of church buildings.

Hollywood would turn One Hundred Years of Solitude into a Rom-Com starring Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler. No thanks.

@ Scorzi, Sorry to bust your bubble, but I heard that a Ramona movie is in the works. One of those Disney girls is gonna be in it. Not sure if it's a tv movie or if its actually going to the big screen.

@ Scorzi and Lake ... yep, it's true ... there is a Beverly Cleary movie coming out and it stars a Disney girl - Selena Gomez. I saw the poster for it at the movies this week ... it made me cry on the inside. http://www.ramonaandbeezus.com/

A Hundred Years movie would be trippy as shit. But only if the theater corrodes and time ceases to be at the end.

The good thing about One Hundred Years of Solitude is that it is SO long and SO complicated (and awesome, I love that novel) that it would be impossible to adapt. And Hollywood doesn't have anyone brave or good enough to even try it.

Well, I have been having trouble sleeping lately. I think a One Hundred Years of Solitude movie could really help me out.

Please god, I hope they never make a film version of One Hundred Years of Solitude. There's only so much of my heart that Hollywood can tear to shreds.

I've been working on my "Pat the Bunny" musical, 3-D movie, in Sensoround, for a few years now. It's going to be HUGE with the pre-pre-fetus set.

Call me crazy, but I wouldn't mind seeing a One Hundred Years of Solitude movie. As long as it was well done, of course. I enjoy movies that leave me feeling dead on the inside.
Marquez himself has said before that he does NOT want a movie adaptation of his novel because every latin american has given a familiar face to the characters. Yes, we're all like that.
...
but now that I think about it, that didn't stop the awfully terrible "Love in the times of Cholera" to exist with the awful song of Shakira.

I'm shocked to learn that A Confederacy of Dunces hasn't sold ten million copies.

What's wrong with people?