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Ranking the Cast of 15 Current Sitcoms by the Overall Level of Attractiveness

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (35)



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A thought occurred to me the other day, and it was this: As much as beauty is often valued over talent in Hollywood, that’s not necessarily the case on television sitcoms. Obviously, they’re not littered with uggos, but while each show seems to have one or two aesthetic knock-outs, sitcom ensembles are not generally comprised of strictly beautiful people. For every Joel McHale, there’s a Jerry, and for every Cloris Leachman, there’s a Zooey Deschanel, but except on the fringes, sitcom ensembles are decently representative on the old hot-or-not scale. There’s not enough racial mix, but damnit, you can look like Brian Baumgartner and get work on television.

So, for superficial sh*ts and giggles and to give you another reason to tell me how criminally wrong I am, here are 15 sitcoms ranked by overall overall level of attractiveness.

15. Curb Your Enthusiasm (Not pictured, J.B. Smoove, Jeff Garlin, Susie Essman, and Richard Lewis).

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14. Big Bang Theory

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13. Raising Hope

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12. Children’s Hospital

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11. The Office

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10.30 Rock

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9. Archer

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8. It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

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7. The League

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6. Modern Family

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5. Parks and Recreation

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4. Community

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3. New Girl

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2. How I Met Your Mother

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1. Happy Endings

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Comments

come on, any show with the fonz is automatically #1.

Posted by: duh at February 13, 2012 3:24 PM

It only just struck me as I scrolled through this that there is not one person on Parks & Rec whom I would personally* classify as attractive.

*"Personally" being my disclaimer to acknowledge others might feel differently**

**Disclaimer pointed out here for the readers from the oblivious-to-glaringly-evident-disclaimers contingent who appear to be around today.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 13, 2012 3:33 PM

So you're telling me a single Zooey Deschanel > Gillian Jacobs + Alison Brie.

*Commences with violent head shaking*

Posted by: haplo at February 13, 2012 3:37 PM

Ranking the Cast of 15 White Current Sitcoms by the Overall Level of Attractiveness. There Rowles I fixed it for you, obviously you’ve never watched BET.

Posted by: Pookie at February 13, 2012 3:37 PM

WHAT ABOUT COUGAR TOWN?! They're at least hot enough for the 8th spot.

Can't argue with number one though. That is one FINE looking cast.

Posted by: Bert at February 13, 2012 3:39 PM

Where only 15 shows eligible? I'm trying to figure out how Big Bang Theory made the list.

Posted by: Matt at February 13, 2012 3:46 PM

"Were only 15 shows eligible?"

Posted by: Matt at February 13, 2012 3:47 PM

Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen must really add points to the grading curve for "Modern Family." And seriously, HIMYM above "Community?"

I'm not at all sure how the math on this works. That's all I'm saying.

Posted by: Christopher Farnsworth at February 13, 2012 3:48 PM

"So, for superficial sh*ts and giggles...

Who the fuck are you? Did JoRo brainwash you?

Posted by: Scully at February 13, 2012 3:49 PM

PaddyDog, I have read your disclaimer, and I will honor itmsvcnalJKBSVCLA;


NO!

NOT EVEN RASHIDA JONES?!

Posted by: vic at February 13, 2012 3:53 PM

"Ranking the Cast of 15 White Current Sitcoms by the Overall Level of Attractiveness. There Rowles I fixed it for you, obviously you’ve never watched BET."

TRANSLATION: "I'm going to imply Dustin's a racist (again, some more) in this comment thread while spouting sexist bullshit in the Top Model comment thread, because I have absolutely no sense of shame."

Posted by: Craig at February 13, 2012 3:53 PM

I'm not sure how ANY of this works. Sure Pam weighs down the others, but Sterling, Lana, Cheryl, Malory, Krieger, Katya Kasanova, and Barry? Those are some good looking spooks. Way hotter cast than the rest of those shows. Spot #9 is frankly an insult.

Posted by: EJ at February 13, 2012 3:56 PM

im surprised at how low 'children's hospital' is. LAKE BELL, malin akerman, and the girl who kind of looks like minka kelly. confusing.

Posted by: atoz15 at February 13, 2012 3:56 PM

I don't know, I find Amy Poehler, Aubrey Plaza and Rashida Jones very attractive.

Posted by: John W at February 13, 2012 4:04 PM

Yeah, this list is dumb. With the exception of #1, almost none of these shows have bona fide "hot" men. They have a goofy charm, but they aren't out and out sexy. (unlike the majority of the women in these casts)

Posted by: Sara Tonin at February 13, 2012 4:09 PM

Vic
Especially not Rashida Jones. I think she looks bland at best.
But to each his/her own.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 13, 2012 4:10 PM

I should add that I have always assumed the cast of Parks & Rec were selected because they look like the type of people who populate small towns in Indiana and elsewhere, i.e., that their blandness and average-ness was intentional.

Posted by: PaddyDog at February 13, 2012 4:22 PM

Lana Kane is, was and forever shall be No.1!


SPLOOSH!

Posted by: admin at February 13, 2012 4:34 PM

Garrett Dillahunt all by himself should boost Raising Hope to at LEAST number 10!

Posted by: Siege at February 13, 2012 4:41 PM

What? No SUBURGATORY...?

Posted by: Kenny G. at February 13, 2012 4:44 PM

Ick Julie Bowen is all gristle.

Posted by: bananapanda at February 13, 2012 4:50 PM

Sofia Vergara should count as 10 Zoey Deschannels. And at least 8 Allison Bries. Your maths is fucked up. I hadn't realised it, but wow American comedies are very white!

Posted by: Joker at February 13, 2012 5:12 PM

Community should be #1! Like it is in every other way (except ratings or actually being on the air)...

New Girl can only be at # 3 if you add in Hannah Simone and Lizzy Caplan.

Community / Parks and Rec / Happy Endings Tied with New Girl

Posted by: reaperslogic at February 13, 2012 5:15 PM

"Ranking the Cast of 15 White Current Sitcoms by the Overall Level of Attractiveness. There Rowles I fixed it for you, obviously you’ve never watched BET."

TRANSLATION: "I'm going to imply Dustin's a racist (again, some more) in this comment thread while spouting sexist bullshit in the Top Model comment thread, because I have absolutely no sense of shame."

Posted by: Craig at February 13, 2012 3:53 PM

_______


Ahh Craig, my sense of having no shame is only topped by you having no sense of humor. But really what was it that tipped you off, was it me using the word “White” or was it “BET?” listen pilgrim, I don’t think Rowles is a racist. Not after coming here for close to five years and reading hundreds of his articles and comments. See buddy, Rowles and I have a special relationship, he pisses on Tyler Perry and I in return piss on Kevin Smith. But in all honesty I have a lot of respect for Rowles and I think he judges people on their actions, which is the only thing we can really do. Relax Craig, we’re all here to have a little fun.


p.s. thanks for killing the nice mellow buzz we had going on here.


Posted by: Pookie at February 13, 2012 5:42 PM

The three chicks on Happy Endings are hot as hell. Good call. I'd probably put Community at #2 for Allison Brie and Gillian Jacobs.

Posted by: Reggie at February 13, 2012 5:43 PM

C'mon Archer should be #1 on Lana's perfect breasts alone.


YEAH I KNOW THEY'RE NOT REAL! SHUT UP!

Posted by: logan at February 13, 2012 6:01 PM

You know, I took my brother to the Leafs @ Jets game last week, and at one point I leaned over to him and said "I really want to start a 'sloppy seconds' chant, but I can't do it anymore because I really like her on Happy Endings" (I also like the rest of the cast, but I digress).

And for those of you who actually followed what I was just talking about I award you one golden moose of the internet, on skates.

Seriously though, that show has dramatically redeemed my opinion of Elisha Cuthbert.

Posted by: Bert at February 13, 2012 6:43 PM

Without weighing on the attractiveness of various casts, I would like to say that that "Office" / Seurat photograph is FUCKING AWESOME. What a cool idea + execution.

Posted by: MM at February 13, 2012 9:45 PM

AND that photo of P&R doesn't even have Chris Traeger in it. Adam Scott is enough for everything, though.

Posted by: figgy at February 13, 2012 10:34 PM

Whaaaat!?! No CW shows? Attractive casts are the only reason that network exists. Surely they have a sitcom scheduled somewhere. Is One Tree Hill still on?

Posted by: brdkelli at February 14, 2012 12:27 AM

Yeah Craig, what Pookie said...

Although the Pookster has been known to lie.

In basements.

I think it was TK's.

Posted by: general rhubarb at February 14, 2012 2:27 AM

Bert, I'm so very glad that your opinion of Elisha Cuthbert has improved to the point that you don't have to lower yourself to the level of Sean Avery.

I will be taking my golden moose award now.

Posted by: AbbyNormal at February 14, 2012 2:36 AM

I am a lady lawyer, young and beautiful. And now I am seeking a good man who can give me a real lo;ve, so I got on BillionaireFriends.COMit's where ri;ch men and women loo;king for comp;anionship for a fabulous lifestyle.

Posted by: joe at February 14, 2012 3:44 AM

Mac's biceps (RIP), Dennis' chest and Charlie's ... everything, deserve at LEAST the #3 spot.

Posted by: MissRos at February 14, 2012 1:28 PM

"It only just struck me as I scrolled through this that there is not one person on Parks & Rec whom I would personally* classify as attractive."


Ummm...RASHIDA JONES???? AUBREY PLAZA?? BOTH HOT !!!

and while not up to Jones/Plaza levels, Amy Poeler is very jammable.

Posted by: Krazy Joe at February 14, 2012 4:33 PM