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"New Girl" Nick Miller's 12 Ways to Achieve a Perfectly Content Existence

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | May 22, 2013 | Comments ()


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1. Leisure time is important.

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2. Rank your priorities.

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3. Focus your efforts on the things in your life that really matter.

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4. Listen to your body, even when what it's saying is not necessarily accepted by the mainstream.

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5. Optimism is overrated.

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6. Life is cyclical. If things are not going well for you, wait a while.

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7. You don't have to aim high.

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8. If things get difficult, retreat into seclusion. Moonwalk away, if necessary.

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9. Never trust a door.

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10. Avoid uncomfortable places.

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11. Let loose. Get weird.

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12. Get some occasional unstructured exercise.

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If you follow all of Nick Miller's advice, contentedness will be yours.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • 13. Somehow become (what I imagine to be) the most amazing kisser there's ever been. Because, yow.

  • atoz15

    hell to the YUSSSSSS

  • SERIOUSLY.

  • InternetMagpie

    Uh-HUH.

  • Joe Grunenwald

    I found garbage that has chocolate on it!

  • mb

    I'd just like to personally thank Nick Miller for providing me with more laughter than anyone else this year.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I'm still amazed he's not a DeLuise.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Dammit. I can't deal with Zooey, but these are funny and I might have to start watching...grr. Esp. since I also have no problems with sandwiches, sex and watching tv all day, but do have problems with doors.

  • alwaysanswerb

    The show actually made me kind of... like her? YMMV though.

  • I can't stand her either, but that show is hilarious--almost entirely because of the three guys. It's funny how they've really shuffled Zooey kind of to the side, but it makes it way better for some of us.

    Really, you have to get to know Schmidt. Everybody should.

  • Rochelle

    Nick, Schmidt and Winston should have been on yesterday's threesome list.

  • Angela

    It was irrational of me, but I didn't want to like this show..but it's pretty darn good and I'm totally into it now. Just give in.

  • I had the same issue. Then, hungover-as-fuck one Sunday afternoon, I turned on an arbitrary season 2 episode ('Secrets' I think it was) and I loved it.
    What I thought the show would be - a curiosity built around ZD's over-exaggerated quirks - turned out to be completely wrong. Instead, it showed itself to be a sweet and very funny ensemble comedy anchored by personality rather than gimmicks.
    However, it didn't start that way. It worked its way up to it. So, humble though I usually am, I'd say my method was perfect. Watch season 2 first. Though there are strong moments later on, season 1 is a bit like Parks & Rec's first season: a dry run.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Nick is my hero. And the perfect man... Being content and a little hungover is way better than anything money or good looks can buy.

  • He's a hero of mine too. I strive to be really good. But I know if that doesn't pan out I can be content being just like Nick. Win, win.

  • Well that's brightened my day

  • toblerone

    I think an argument could be made for Max Blum or Sterling Archer being the perfect man, but agree with your assessment.

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  • + 1 for Archer

  • kemi

    +10000000000 for archer

  • You forgot 13:
    If beset by panic, moonwalk outta the room.

  • pajiba

    Fixed!

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