Hollywood's Hottest Jews: Some People Are Just A Little More "Chosen" Than Others.

By Joanna Robinson | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (51)

Happy Hanukkah, my dears. I got you some presents! Two for each night, to be precise. Yes, some of them are already partially unwrapped. I apologize. I got excited. I’m sure you can take care of the rest. And, no, I won’t tell you what they are, I don’t want to ruin the supri-OH FINE. It’s candy. I got you 16 pieces of eye candy. And they’re a whole lot better than gelt, I can assure you. Here are Hollywood’s Hottest Jews ranging from full, to half, to quarter, to “ate a latke once.” Please don’t waste our time quibbling over someone’s Jewishness. It ain’t the season for that. Instead, I urge you to enjoy your gifts and then go dance the hora. If you know what I mean.

Rachel Bilson

Lizzy Caplan

Jason Isaacs

Jenny Lewis

Ben Foster

Liev Schreiber

Natalie Portman

Alison Brie

Paul Rudd

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Isla Fisher

Eva Green

Jake Gyllenhaal

Mila Kunis

Kat Dennings

Adrien Brody

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Comments

Fine, but it's "Fisher".

Posted by: Jay at December 21, 2011 4:08 PM

Oh lord, Liev Schreiber. That man is just too much man, you know?

Posted by: Ghisent at December 21, 2011 4:19 PM

Liev Schreiber FTW.

Posted by: sunny at December 21, 2011 4:21 PM

My boss is jewish. He doesn't look like any of those people. That makes me sad, I wish he did!

Posted by: sarah at December 21, 2011 4:23 PM

Adrien Brody is your big finale? Really? How about Zac Efron? James Franco? Anton Yelchin?

Posted by: Pants at December 21, 2011 4:25 PM

Prove they're all Jewish. Hot, yeah, unquestionably, but Jewish? I am assuming we are going with the "if your grandmother was Jewish" definition. I can't envision Rudd eating matza. I can, however, imagine Mila Kunis eating just about anything and frequently do.

Posted by: professor_love at December 21, 2011 4:29 PM

mmm happy chanookah to me

Posted by: sean at December 21, 2011 4:30 PM

Did you miss the article last week? Apparently Ms.Brie isn't "hot".

Posted by: really at December 21, 2011 4:32 PM

Don't be putting Jason Isaacs out there like he's available for public consumption. Lucius Malfoy is MINE, bitches.

Posted by: mona sterling at December 21, 2011 4:38 PM

I have NEVER been prouder to be one of the tribe. Hot DAMN. Geshmak. All of them.

Posted by: ceebee_eebee at December 21, 2011 4:43 PM

Lizzy Caplan is not hot.

Posted by: stump at December 21, 2011 4:51 PM

I was hoping to see Melanie Laurent on there. There's nothing hotter or more Jewish than killing Hitler. And yes -- Shoshona and the actress who play her are both Jewish.

Posted by: Mordecai at December 21, 2011 4:53 PM

Those are some hot fuckin' pictures. Thank you, Ms. Robinson.

(And I'm not even Jewish! But I will still accept Hannukah gifts.)

Posted by: MM at December 21, 2011 4:53 PM

Oh man, if I could put my "Christmas tree" near their "Menorahs" and "latkes" and just get my bagel ready...

You know what? Fuck it.

Nope. No double entendres. We're not doing that this year.

I just want to fuck them. All of them.

Possibly eat gelt off their writhing naked bodies.

Happy Holidays everyone.

Shalom.

Posted by: scorzi at December 21, 2011 4:57 PM

That may be "your" Lucius Malfoy, but he's MY Jackson Brodie.

Posted by: AM at December 21, 2011 5:10 PM

I'm verklempt at the absence of Emmanuelle Chriqui. She's one fine looking Jew.

Posted by: Brian K at December 21, 2011 5:17 PM

Lizzy Caplan is kind of hot, but that picture doesn't show it. Google Image search, or just watch True Blood season... 2? Or is that the first season?

Posted by: Patty O'Green at December 21, 2011 5:33 PM

Bilson, Mila = sigh
Eva Green = bunk (but I'm sure she'd damage me)
Brie = well, yes, we all know we're *supposed* to dig her

Jason Isaacs = the kind of man I wish I looked like (him and Daniel Craig)

Isla Fisher = Aussie chick who converted for mankinis - she may have eaten a bagel, once

Posted by: trib at December 21, 2011 5:35 PM

I think Hebraic people might be the prettiest ethnicity. Love me some Jewish girls.

Posted by: Nonanonymous at December 21, 2011 5:40 PM

Jewish women are skinny. All of them, if this is an accurate subset.

Posted by: Brenton at December 21, 2011 5:40 PM

What, no Shatner?

Posted by: kitty at December 21, 2011 5:41 PM

That is a super unflattering picture of Ms. Caplan. Seriously, you couldn't find a better one?

She looks like an American Apparel ad.

Not a compliment.

Posted by: Slash at December 21, 2011 5:52 PM

Also, what about Rachel Weisz? What is she, chopped liver?

Get it?

Tough room ...

Posted by: Slash at December 21, 2011 5:56 PM

I demand to know why Jon Stewart isn't on this list.

Posted by: WigWam at December 21, 2011 6:12 PM

This list makes me feel unfit for human consumption.

Posted by: Lucas at December 21, 2011 6:29 PM

Congratulations on finding the worst picture ever taken of Lizzy Caplan. Good luck masturbating to that one.

Posted by: L-za at December 21, 2011 6:57 PM

Why bother writing "quarter Jewish"? None of these people are quarter. They're either half, full, or converts.

And to the guy who questioned Paul Rudd, stfu. Rudd is 100% Jewish.

Posted by: dee at December 21, 2011 7:49 PM

Speaking of 100% Jewish and hot... two words... Logan Lerman.

Posted by: dee at December 21, 2011 7:53 PM

Mila Kunis is undeniably the most beautiful woman ever to have existed, Jewish or otherwise.

But Liev Schreiber? Gross!

Posted by: John G. at December 21, 2011 9:31 PM

Mila is going to be so embarassed when she realises that she had a run in her hose during that shoot!

Posted by: Uriah Creep at December 21, 2011 9:41 PM

Yes, it is very important that we Jews be able to recognize one another so this is huge!

And there's something really cool about Charlotte Gainsbourg...

Posted by: Norm Schrager at December 21, 2011 9:54 PM

One of the better lists I've seen. Apparently I have a thing for Jewish girls. I'd renounce my atheism for nearly all of them.

Posted by: Dave at December 21, 2011 10:54 PM

Thank you for this. So many levels of awesomeness.

A freilichin Chanukah everyone.

Posted by: Brian at December 21, 2011 11:01 PM

Mmmmmmm what lovely lovely mens on this list. Isaacs and Brody and Schreiber, oh my!

Posted by: figgy at December 21, 2011 11:10 PM

Isla Fisher doesn't count. She just converted to get married. Sure, she's a believer, but she's not quality Ashkanazi blood.

Posted by: Withnails at December 21, 2011 11:36 PM

So much beauty..Didn´t know half of these were jews(really).
Only 16?
You could easily come up with at least 88 or 89

Posted by: UncleKaiser at December 22, 2011 1:13 AM

GLARING OMISSION:

Lisa Edelstein:

Cuddy pole-dances House:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mWZq5ebYb8s

Oy!

Posted by: , at December 22, 2011 1:48 AM

They are all welcome to show me the Promised Land any day of the week.

Posted by: duckandcover at December 22, 2011 1:53 AM

If Jake Gyllenhaal is Jewish, wouldn't that make Maggie Gyllenhaal Jewish too? Where's her picture? Or if you really needed to save space, you couldn't get a picture of the two of them together?

Posted by: Richard III at December 22, 2011 2:48 AM

I´ve made up my mind..next year it should be a list of 88 jews...no more, no less.
I dare you, it shouldn´t be that hard... they are beautiful

Posted by: UncleKaiser at December 22, 2011 2:55 AM

Rachel Weisz. But I approve of the others.

Posted by: Joker at December 22, 2011 4:11 AM

Well, one, Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz is 49 years old, and two, Jonathan Stuart Liebowitz ain't exactly Hollywood kind of hot. He's more Alphabet City kind of hot. Like Woody Allen, you know?

Posted by: Jerry at December 22, 2011 5:56 AM

44 men 44 women....=88 ppl
What is the eighth letter of the alphabet?
I´m Dan Brown here..
The 8th letter of the alphabet is H
88 means?...
And NOW you have to be from Europe.

Posted by: UncleKaiser at December 22, 2011 7:53 AM

Just throwing this out there both Daniel Craig and Jason Issacs are from Liverpool. My home town. Just saying.

Posted by: Nieve 'The Threadkiller Queen' at December 22, 2011 8:58 AM

Love Jason Isaacs! And Daniel Craig... maybe I should move to Liverpool...

Yes, that picture of Lizzy Caplan looks like she is at some drug induced slumber party.

Posted by: MRod at December 22, 2011 9:25 AM

What? No one's going to confess their undying love for Jenny "I Was In Wizard Before I Was In Rilo Kiley" Lewis? Fine, I'll be the first.

Jenny Lewis, I love you. Forever and always. No matter what that mean boy from "Salute Your Shorts" and "Boy Meets World" says.

So, thank you, JoRo, for her inclusion here. Made my week.

Posted by: RobP at December 22, 2011 10:50 AM

no love for Jason Segel. I want a sandwich of him and Rudd with a bit of Mila on the side.

Posted by: Alyson at December 22, 2011 11:36 AM

I demand to know why Jon Stewart isn't on this list.

Posted by: WigWam at December 21, 2011 6:12 PM

Yes. Yes.

Posted by: piedlourde at December 22, 2011 11:38 AM

Withnails last time I check Judaism is a religious, so if a person consider him self Jewish- it doesn't really matter that she isn't of "quality Ashkanazi blood". never mind that some of those people might be of "gasp" of Sperdic/Mizrachi blood, you know- we don't all come from eastern europe

Posted by: YS at December 22, 2011 12:07 PM

I approve of this list.

Posted by: Archies_Leach at December 22, 2011 1:54 PM

Nieve, Daniel Craig is a squirrel from the Wirral :)

Posted by: Milly at December 22, 2011 4:22 PM

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Hollywood's Hottest Jews: Some People Are Just A Little More "Chosen" Than Others.

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