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Five Actual Absurd Casting Rumors More Likely to Happen than Natalie Portman as Lois Lane

By Dustin Rowles | Posted Under Seriously Random Lists | Comments (22)

natalie_portman_01.jpg

You may have already heard, but the latest absurd casting rumor for the tentatively called Man of Steel (title, also a rumor) is Natalie Portman as Lois Lane, joining the ideas of Zachary Levin and Jon Hamm, among others, as Superman. It’s the sort of casting rumor that one could logically connect because of Darren Aronovksy’s rumored connection to direct, and his recent working relationship with Portman in the Oscar-contending Black Swan. That is to say, it’s a rumor connected to another rumor, and it’s all based upon a a hearsay suggestion.

But it could happen. Weirder things have. But the likelihood is on par with these other casting rumors of recent years that, theoretically, haven’t been ruled out, as there has been no official casting on any of the below projects.

5. David Tennant, Daniel Radcliffe, Jack Black, or Tobey Maguire as Bilbo Baggins in The Hobbit. (Hero Complex) (Latino Review)

4. Zach Braff as Elliot Smith in an Elliot Smith biopic. (The Music Slut)

3. Kim Kardashian as Lara Croft in a Tomb Raider reboot

2. Cher as Catwoman in the Dark Knight sequel (UK Telegraph)

1. Jamie Foxx as Frank Sinatra in a Sinatra biopic. (UK Telegraph)









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Comments

zach braff as elliot smith took my breath away, like a punch to the gut. bad..... bad.... bad idea...

Posted by: glittergirl at September 29, 2010 11:35 AM

3. Kim Kardashian as Lara Croft in a Tomb Raider reboot

This is a bad joke

Posted by: madclawmannn at September 29, 2010 11:40 AM

Umm, #1 is uhhhh . . . that isn't really . . . because Sinatra wasn't, ummm, you know, uhhh, not white. Right? Would they put Foxx in white-face? Is that racist? Am I racist for saying a black man can't play Sinatra? What's next, Seth Green as Sammy Davis, Jr.?

(and yes, I know it's just a rumor)

Posted by: Kballs at September 29, 2010 11:40 AM

May I ask a question? Thanks. Do people really want Jon Hamm to play Superman? I mean, my personal opinion aside (I don't really think he's all that attractive, sorry), he seems kind of old and craggy to me. Perhaps I'm buying into the youthification of Hollywood in general, but he just ... doesn't work in my head as Superman.

Posted by: Samantha at September 29, 2010 11:43 AM

None of these are as bad as the Eddie Murphy rumors after TDK came out. Cher? Bad idea. Eddie Murphy? WORST idea.

Posted by: ChristianH at September 29, 2010 11:43 AM

White face, Kballs. White face.

Posted by: Robert Scott at September 29, 2010 11:44 AM

@Kballs: Seth Green as Sammy Davis, Jr. is an utterly fabulous and hilarious (if not PC) idea. Thanks for that.

Posted by: Samantha at September 29, 2010 11:45 AM

i have a way easier time imagining seth green as sammy davis jr than any of the rumours in the list.

and for #3, it could simply read "a lara croft reboot"

Posted by: idleprimate at September 29, 2010 12:01 PM

It could be fun to watch Zach Braff kill himself, though.

Posted by: superasente at September 29, 2010 12:01 PM

Who the fuck is Eliot Smith? And Jamie Foxx can go eat ALL the dicks. Fucking hate him.

Posted by: supafly at September 29, 2010 12:35 PM

Jamie Foxx as Sinatra might work if the entire cast was race-flipped (like when Patrick Stewart did Othello). Which... hmm... Don Cheadle as Dean Martin, Denzel Washington as Kennedy, Jennifer Hudson as Marilyn Monroe. Naturallement, Sammy Davis Jr. will be played by Robert Downey Jr. (With a special appearance by Halle Berry as Kim Novak.)

Posted by: Maureen at September 29, 2010 12:58 PM

Maureen: I love your casting, it's perfect.

Now, about #5. As much as I love me some David Tennant, he's too tall, too skinny, and too young to play Bilbo. Let's not forget that Bilbo was a short, fat, hairy, 50 year old. Then again, so was Frodo, and we all saw where that went.

Posted by: BWeaves at September 29, 2010 1:20 PM

Zach Braff as Elliot Smith in an Elliot Smith biopic.

As much as I would love to see an Elliot Smith biopic (and am kind of surprised that there hasn't been one yet) I really don't think ZB is the one for that role. Like just NO.

Let's hope (pray) that they find some unknown who is familiar with Elliot's work and can act decently.

Posted by: grace b at September 29, 2010 1:37 PM

maybe philip seymour hoffman could play bilbo baggins

Posted by: idleprimate at September 29, 2010 1:52 PM

Jack Black as Bilbo Baggins:

Bilbo: That's a bitchin' ring, S.G.! Haaaand it OH-vah! (farts)

Smeagol/Gollum: Fucks this assholes. Smeagol quits's.

Posted by: PaulterA at September 29, 2010 2:02 PM

Ok, I'll admit I had to look up Elliot Smith and...still never heard any of his work so don't see what all the fuss is about.

Not, get off my lawn, damnit! (Shakes fist impotently)

Posted by: UncleJR at September 29, 2010 2:42 PM

Ooh, fake casting looks like fun!

Ahem.

In other news: Christopher Nolan has announced that the villain in Batm3n will be the Riddler. This iconic character will be brought to life on the screen by none other than Bayside High's own Zack Morris.

Posted by: penelope at September 29, 2010 3:01 PM

@penelope-

NO.
WAY.

i hope they do a very special episode where bruce wayne gets addicted to diet pills.

::gravelly voice::

"i'm so excited. i'm so excited. i'm so.... scared."

♫ IT'S ALL RIGHT 'CUZ I'VE BEEN SAVED BY THE BAT!! ♫

Posted by: stopthemadness aka Angry Black Lady at September 29, 2010 3:52 PM

Braff as Smith?

NO. JUST NO.

Posted by: THE Sofía at September 29, 2010 8:11 PM

I won't make any friends by saying PaulterA's comment makes casting Jack Black as Bilbo Baggins sound like a vast improvent over the horrible, tedious book that is The Hobbit.

Posted by: Carrie at September 29, 2010 11:53 PM

Cher as Catwoman is actually a not a bad idea. She's actually a decent actress, if you think about it- and wouldn't an aging, brittle, decrepit Catwoman be a little spooky and potentially awesome?

Posted by: Martin at September 30, 2010 9:29 AM

I agree with Martin.

The VERY first thought that I had when I saw Cher was, "Cher? Why?" And then...

I think she'd be great. But she'd have to be freakin' brilliant. Just so amazingly awesome that our jaws fall off our faces and our eyes pop out for it to work.

Posted by: Candee at September 30, 2010 5:46 PM