Does Agent Coulson Live? Six Things You May Not Have Heard About This Week
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Does Agent Coulson Live? Six Things You May Not Have Heard About This Week

By Cindy Davis | Seriously Random Lists | April 28, 2013 | Comments ()


How can your day possibly be complete until you read this Important Stuff?

6. Gwyneth Continued Her Parade of Oversharing.

Listen, I'm no prude, but that dress Goopie recently wore was just unnecessary. Gwynnie, we know you work out and you like your body, but that doesn't mean you have to air dry your entire ass at a movie premiere. Just like you don't have to share every detail of the grooming procedures necessary to wear said dress; or if you did, you could have put it in haiku form and sent it out in your monthly Goopletter:

My taut ass ain't so
beautiful, more akin to
That 70s Show

5. Larry Gilliard Jr. Joined "The Walking Dead."


"The Wire" veteran rejoins his former castmate, Chad L. Coleman (Tyrese), who played Dennis "Cutty" Wise to Gillard's D'Angelo Barksdale. Gilliard takes on the role of Bob Stookie, a haunted loner and former Army medic. Holy shit, y'all, does this mean AMC heard our "one black man" bitching? Now if we could just get them to keep the same writers a whole season, we may be on our way to consistency and a smart woman.

4. Several Tracks from The Great Gatsby Soundtrack Were Previewed.

Baz Luhrmann's update on the F. Scott Fitzgerald novel features a soundtrack executive produced by the Goopster's best buddy, Jay-Z, and features tracks by Bryan Ferry (covering Roxy Music), Jack White (covering U2), Beyoncé and André 3000 (covering Amy Winehouse), and new music by Florence and the Machine, Lana Del Ray,, the xx and Jay-Z. You can already pre-order digital copies on iTunes, and the film hits theaters May 10th.

Additionally, New Film Clips Made Their Way Online:

3. Jim Jarmusch's Only Lovers Left Alive Added to the Cannes Excitement.


Tom Hiddleston and The Swinton as vampire lovers? Yes, please. Jarmusch's horror romance also features John Hurt, Anton Yelchin, and Mia Wasikowska as Swinton's wild and disruptive little sister. This one definitely belongs among the most anticipated premieres. Cannes 2013 runs May 15-26; you can find a full listing of the premieres here.

2. BBCA Released a Poster and Synopsis for Neil Gaiman's "Doctor Who" Episode.


Speaking of anticipation, after series six's "The Doctor's Wife," most Whovians are mighty excited at the prospect of another Gaiman penned episode. Scheduled to air May 11th, "Nightmare in Silver" features longtime enemy, the Cybermen; here's the official synopsis:

Hedgewick's World of Wonders was once the greatest theme park in the galaxy, but it's now the dilapidated home to a shabby showman, a chess-playing dwarf and a dysfunctional army platoon.

When the Doctor, Clara, Artie and Angie arrive, the last thing they expect is the re-emergence of one of the Doctor's oldest foes. The Cybermen are back!

1. Possible "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." *Spoilers* Revealed How Agent Coulson Returns.


After Marvel's The Avengers provided...ahem, a certain fate for Agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) and a subsequent announcement that the character would appear in Joss Whedon's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." television series, many of us wondered exactly how that would be accomplished. So if you want to know, highlight ahead, but out of respect for those who choose not to read, please DON'T discuss in the comments. SPOILERS: The pilot reveals Coulson's death was faked by Nick Fury (with the help of Coulson and other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents--possibly Maria Hill), to motivate the Avengers into action. As the source notes, it's unclear how Coulson survives Loki's attack, but presumably we'll get more information as time goes by. (Source: /Film).

Cindy Davis, (Twitter) remains skeptical.

What's On Your Bucket List? | 5 Shows After Dark 4/28/13

Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • tamatha_uhmelmahaye

    For the record, I always believed that Agent Coulson didn't die, and my reason for this was that scene where Nick Fury had the bloodied playing cards, which weren't actually on Coulson when he was shot. I interpreted that to mean that he wasn't actually dead. If this is really the case, then I. Am. Vindicated.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    Phil has such a cool face.

  • mograph

    I never thought I'd see a haiku in a rapping cadence.

  • Jerce

    Tom Hiddleston and The Swinton as vampire lovers? Yes, please. Jarmusch’s horror romance also features John Hurt, Anton Yelchin, and Mia Wasikowska

    *pant pant pant*

    Please post all promotional photos that exist. Thank you.

    *pant pant pant*

  • space_oddity

    "Bryan Ferry covering Roxy Music." That's like "Robert Plant covering Led Zeppelin."

  • Emperor Cupcake

    I was trying to figure that one out.

  • e jerry powell

    Or John Fogerty covering Creedence Cl...

    Oh, wait...

  • Jennifer Weber

    Thank you

  • It's true...

  • zeke_the_pig

    You reckon all the characters Whedon has killed off over the course of his career hang around in some sort of post-Whedon afterlife? I do. Good for me.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Jarmusch? I'm in. Good night.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I was very curious to hear Daisy's voice "full of money". The jury is still out. I watched a documentary about couture an eon ago and I've never forgotten the voice of the couture customer they interviewed. She seemed very nice, but it was clear that she spoke quietly at all times assuming she would be listened to, and that no one had ever rushed her in her entire life.

    As Luhrmann is doing his usual super-saturated colours, everything except Myrtle in the "Next Train" clip is completely washed out as though they don't exist (which they don't to Tom and his ilk) and she looks like a deranged Christmas tree. Her dress is designed to look like it is falling off. God bless, Baz and his production team. I'm calling Oscar now.

  • April

    Tom Hiddleston and Phil Coulson..all I need to know.

  • stardust

    Gah! I'm so excited for S.H.I.E.L.D! It will be the first show in a long time that I will actually add to my DVR and watch the next day after it airs.

    Also, I hate that poster for Only Lovers Left Alive. It smacks of Lestat-True Blood fanfic rejects. The movie better be a hell of a lot more interesting than that poster, otherwise I'm firing up the Murdertank.

  • BWeaves

    "A chess playing dwarf . . ." So, Peter Dinklage or Warrick Davis?

  • e jerry powell

    Why not Tony Cox?

    Hell, get Shorty Rossi on the phone. He's running a business when he's not rescuing pit bulls for reality TV.

  • BWeaves

    Cause I've never heard of Tony Cox.

  • e jerry powell

    Arlo from "Rescue Me?" The go-to black dwarf for the Wayans family and Mel Brooks? Willy/Widdle the Ewok? (Actually, he's played a lot of Ewoks.)

  • BWeaves

    OK, he's the elf from Bad Santa? OK, put him on the list.

  • e jerry powell

    And he did The Hebrew Hammer the same year! See, he keeps all the bases covered!

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    They're actually looking for an unknown dwarf. Preferably hot, young and tall.

    They're also reimagining dwarves.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Can you imagine the fantastic work Billy Barty could finally be getting if he was still around?

  • Better than playing the mistaken identity persecuted bible salesman in Foul Play?

  • "Tom Hiddleston and The Swinton as vampire lovers."

    I now know all I need to come to the indisputable conclusion that this will be the best movie of the year.

  • e jerry powell

    "The year"? This millennium.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    Whoa now, let's not get ahead of ourselves. I'm sure there will be even more brilliant movies once Tilda's species finally comes to colonise the Earth in a couple of centuries. Tildas, everywhere, on every street corner. Like Starbucks, but alien and strangely attractive.

  • e jerry powell

    I'd say that more of our species must mate with Tilda, then.

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I'm all for it. I know a lot of guys don't get the Tilda thing, and I'll admit, I really don't either, but I still come down on the side wanting to get with Tilda Swinton. I blame The Beach-- I was young and impressionable and she was all free love banging DiCaprio.

  • e jerry powell

    And then there was Young Adam, where Ewan McGregor couldn't seem to disengage from her naughty bits.

  • e jerry powell


  • stutx

    from what Whedon and Gregg have said he will under go a transformation when he returns and not be the same as before.

    “When Joss described to me the mystery that takes place in Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
    and the complexity and the unanswered questions about Phil Coulson
    standing there trying to deal with this, I found it so fascinating and
    so true to the world of the comics and mythology in general as I
    understand them that I was immediately in.”

    Mystery, complexity, however Whedon and his team are going to spin
    it, Coulson is still a person and, therefore, is bound to be deeply
    affected by the events of The Avengers. Gregg noted, “I don’t know how you could not change going through what he went through.” He added, “I
    think if he hadn’t gone through some kind of change, it wouldn’t be any
    good. That said, I don’t know if he understands how much he’s changed.”

    cant wait to watch the show

    ant wait to watch the show.

  • stofjas

    I called Coulson not dying the moment I walked out of the movie. He is just too cool a character to discard willy-nilly, despite Whedons love of willy-nilly deaths.

  • Yah... I don't know how anyone didn't see through this. [redacted] Any fan of comics, or anime for that matter, will tell you that if you didn't see the literal dying breath, they're not dead.

    And sometimes not even then.

  • So, you guys didn't see me asking people not to discuss the particulars in the Comments?

  • And I didn't. Nothing I said was not information you could not gain by watching the movie. You did more spoiling in the section above the white text than I did.

  • stardust

    Cindy put the spoilers in white text so that people who wanted to read them could do so by going the extra step to highlight them and people who didn't want to read them could scroll right on past and remain unspoiled. However, you have gone right ahead and spoiled in the comments. And your defense, "You did it, toooooo!" is no defense at all.

  • If you spoil something in the title of the article, you don't get to yell at people for talking about pieces of information that were: 1. completely visible to anyone who saw the film; and 2. not detailed enough to give anything away to anyone who hadn't seen it.

    Case and point, one of the things that was redacted was the fact that Nick Fury was in the movie. Which is not a spoiler under any possible definition of the word.

  • The spoilers that are whited out are in reference to a television show that has not yet aired--not the movie that most people (and certainly those wondering what happens with the character) have already seen. I didn't remove the fact that Fury was in the movie, I removed the part of the comment specific to the whited out spoilers.

  • But every point that you redacted was from the movie... Literally every single one. I am not actually able to spoil the TV show, because, and I know this is hard to believe, I haven't seen it yet.

    So, either your policy on spoilers is completely inconsistent and there's no way I could have known not to post spoilers for a movie that everyone has already seen, or has been spoiled enough as to not matter, or you redacted my post for no reason.

  • Repo

    It happens. There is no statute of limitations here for spoilers at Pajiba apparently. I got a comment deleted for spoiling the end of Citizen Kane earlier this week. So yeah......

  • Clarence gets his wings at the end of It's a Wonderful Life. I just had to jump on this spoiler bandwagon!

  • F'mal DeHyde


  • Long_Pig_Tailor


  • Repo

    Cindy's going to be MAD at the both of you. Tsk, tsk.

  • Darth Vader is actually Luke's father. Also, Soylent Green? Totally people.

  • The portion of your comment removed referenced the information whited out as spoiler for the television show.

  • Fabius_Maximus

    You left out the bit about Cumberbatch's character in Star Trek Into Darkness. (No, I'm not spoiling it; look it up yourself, if you want to know.)

  • Pants-are-a-must

    That may be the best Hiddleston has ever looked.

  • poopnado

    LANA DEL REY?! Everybody, please stop trying to make her a thing.

  • Guest

    I'm pretty sure she already a "thing" and I've never understood all the hate.

  • F'mal DeHyde

    Why the downvotes on this, it seems like a perfectly reasonable remark.

  • Enrique del Castillo

    I hope they address the Avengers reaction to Coulson being back; I liked that Tony seemed to care about him and I guess he won't be too happy to be manipulated

  • Long_Pig_Tailor

    I would kill to see Robert Downey Jr. just Tony Stark it up on ABC primetime for an hour. It would be bizarre and awesome all at once. Fuck, don't even write a script for that episode, just let RDJ and Clark Gregg improv a Tony/Coulson bromantic bar crawl/brawl (Tony will be upset initially, of course) for an hour and just follow them with shaky cam if need be.

    SERIOUSLY. Do that.

  • DocDoom

    Ha. Classic Fury...

  • APOCooter

    Well, I guess if Marvel put out the Spider Clone saga, they can put out that.

    Edit: the idea being that the Spider Clone saga was a terrible freaking idea.

  • There are Spider Clones? Is this a comic book thing or are they making another damn Spider Man movie?

  • APOCooter

    It's a comic book thing from the 90s.

  • BlackRabbit

    Comic book. You're better off not knowing.

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