How can your day possibly be complete until you read this Important Stuff?
6. Gwyneth Continued Her Parade of Oversharing.
Listen, I’m no prude, but that dress Goopie recently wore was just unnecessary. Gwynnie, we know you work out and you like your body, but that doesn’t mean you have to air dry your entire ass at a movie premiere. Just like you don’t have to share every detail of the grooming procedures necessary to wear said dress; or if you did, you could have put it in haiku form and sent it out in your monthly Goopletter:
My taut ass ain’t so
beautiful, more akin to
That 70s Show
5. Larry Gilliard Jr. Joined “The Walking Dead.”
“The Wire” veteran rejoins his former castmate, Chad L. Coleman (Tyrese), who played Dennis “Cutty” Wise to Gillard’s D’Angelo Barksdale. Gilliard takes on the role of Bob Stookie, a haunted loner and former Army medic. Holy shit, y’all, does this mean AMC heard our “one black man” bitching? Now if we could just get them to keep the same writers a whole season, we may be on our way to consistency and a smart woman.
4. Several Tracks from The Great Gatsby Soundtrack Were Previewed.
Baz Luhrmann’s update on the F. Scott Fitzgerald novel features a soundtrack executive produced by the Goopster’s best buddy, Jay-Z, and features tracks by Bryan Ferry (covering Roxy Music), Jack White (covering U2), Beyoncé and André 3000 (covering Amy Winehouse), and new music by Florence and the Machine, Lana Del Ray, will.i.am, the xx and Jay-Z. You can already pre-order digital copies on iTunes, and the film hits theaters May 10th.
Additionally, New Film Clips Made Their Way Online:
3. Jim Jarmusch’s Only Lovers Left Alive Added to the Cannes Excitement.
Tom Hiddleston and The Swinton as vampire lovers? Yes, please. Jarmusch’s horror romance also features John Hurt, Anton Yelchin, and Mia Wasikowska as Swinton’s wild and disruptive little sister. This one definitely belongs among the most anticipated premieres. Cannes 2013 runs May 15-26; you can find a full listing of the premieres here.
2. BBCA Released a Poster and Synopsis for Neil Gaiman’s “Doctor Who” Episode.
Speaking of anticipation, after series six’s “The Doctor’s Wife,” most Whovians are mighty excited at the prospect of another Gaiman penned episode. Scheduled to air May 11th, “Nightmare in Silver” features longtime enemy, the Cybermen; here’s the official synopsis:
Hedgewick’s World of Wonders was once the greatest theme park in the galaxy, but it’s now the dilapidated home to a shabby showman, a chess-playing dwarf and a dysfunctional army platoon.
When the Doctor, Clara, Artie and Angie arrive, the last thing they expect is the re-emergence of one of the Doctor’s oldest foes. The Cybermen are back!
1. Possible “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” *Spoilers* Revealed How Agent Coulson Returns.
After Marvel’s The Avengers provided…ahem, a certain fate for Agent Phil Coulson (Clark Gregg) and a subsequent announcement that the character would appear in Joss Whedon’s “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” television series, many of us wondered exactly how that would be accomplished. So if you want to know, highlight ahead, but out of respect for those who choose not to read, please DON’T discuss in the comments. SPOILERS: The pilot reveals Coulson’s death was faked by Nick Fury (with the help of Coulson and other S.H.I.E.L.D. agents—possibly Maria Hill), to motivate the Avengers into action. As the source notes, it’s unclear how Coulson survives Loki’s attack, but presumably we’ll get more information as time goes by. (Source: /Film).