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39 Reasons Why We Can't Wait For The Return Of "Breaking Bad"

By Joanna Robinson | Seriously Random Lists | August 9, 2013 | Comments ()


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Because Most Men Live Lives Of Quiet Desperation
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Some Others? Not So Quiet.
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Because I Don't Really Get This Photo Shoot. Is It Because That's A "Kid" And Jesse Really Likes "Kids"?
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Because In Case You Hadn't Noticed, Jesse Really Likes Kids
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Because He Keeps Using That Word. I Do Not Think It Means What He Thinks It Means.
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Because He Keeps Using That Word. And It Means Whatever He Needs It To Mean.
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Because Of The Things We Loved That Didn't Make It
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And The Things We Loved That, Against All Odds, Did
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Because Of Crawling Spaces
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Crawling Head Cases
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And Crawling Faces
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Because It Teaches Us Science
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Because It Teaches Us The Law
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Because Sometimes It Leaves A Bad Taste In Our Mouths
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Because This Moment Was Pretty Saucy
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But This Was Even Saucier
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Because It Asks The Important Questions
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Because Of The Ones Who Hesitate
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And The Ones Who Don't
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Because At Least Somebody Still Remembers Wayfarer 515
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Because These Sky Blue Margaritas Should Be The Ones You Knock Back This Sunday
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But Not Too Many. Okay, Kids?
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Because, Damnit, Skyler, You Had One Job
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Because When He Laughs We Laugh
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And When He Cries We Bawl
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Because It Was Love At First Sight
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Because You All Wish You Were In Like Flynn
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Because Of The Subtle Imagery
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Because Of The Not So Subtle Imagery
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Because Aunt Marie Used To Be A Super B*tchy Kleptomaniac. Man, Therapy Really Works.
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Because Despite All Walt's Rage He Is Still Just A Rat In A Cage
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Because It Put The Q In ABQ
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Because If This Kid Dies, My Heart Will Break
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Uh, This One Too, I Guess
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Because, What, You Have Something Better To Do?
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Because, Yup, That About Sums It Up
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Because The Show's Five Seasons Take Place Over Roughly A Year And In That Time Skyler Has Had A Baby, Found Out Her Husband Had Terminal Cancer, Found Out Her Husband Was Cooking Meth, Found Out Her Husband Was A Sociopath SO MAYBE YOU ALL COULD GIVE HER A BREAK AND SHOVE YOUR SKYLER WHITE HATE WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE. Okay?
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Because, Despite Stiff Competition, It's Still The Best Damn Show On Television
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Because It's Only Two More Days, Guys. Cheers.
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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • Kathie Murphy

    As usual, we are on the same page Joanna. Thanks for the 39 and it's finally BB Day! Woo Hoo! Do you do a podcast for BB?

  • WillSmithSpreadsAids

    I feel as though the flash-forward from last year's season 5 premiere might have shown us Walt at the beginning of a suicide attempt. SURE we're supposed to think he popped a pill to treat his cancer while he was in the bathroom but what IF it was actually the ricin? *Arsenio Hall voice* "Just a little something to make u go hhmmm".

  • Ofir Fishkin

    seeing Jane made remember how she took out a piece of egg shell out of her breakfast when Jesse wasn't looking and OH MY GOD JANE WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GO?!

  • maddermonk

    A "kid" is a baby goat. Thats a lamb. Probably represents innocence.

  • mb

    Mike Mike Mike Mike Mike MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE

    I miss him. I wanted a Mike and Saul spin-off :(

  • MrsAtaxxia

    I remember reading somewhere that the Saul spinoff (if it happens) is going to be set pre-Breaking Bad, so Mike would be around! Shenannegans I sure would abound.

  • googergieger

    Every time I get into a Skyler argument, it boils down to me having a valid argument and other people going, "I like the show because I like the show and I think that means me believing she is terrified and therefore her shit doesn't stink ever".

  • chanohack

    OF COURSE she's terrified.

    But before she was terrified, she was awesome. I love her. It would have been so easy for the writers to take the lazy way out with the question, "Won't his wife catch on to this?" and just make her dumb or trusting or apathetic or willing to follow his lead on anything, and instead they made her smart, even if that means they can't keep the story going on the same way forever, and I LOVE it. They (usually) treat their characters like people instead of plot devices. Skyler isn't perfect-- if she was, I wouldn't love her as much.

    Same goes for Hank. It would have been so easy to make him an incompetent cop.

  • googergieger

    This a serious reply?

  • chanohack

    What gives you the impression that it isn't? Is this a serious question?

  • googergieger

    Well it seems like a very superficial understanding/appreciation for the show. Skyler tells Walt she is waiting for him to get cancer again and smokes in his face. She acts like she is about to finally break down and admit everything to Marie only to pull the, "WALT TOLD YOU WHAT?! OH NO HE DIDN'T!" face, when Marie tells her Walt told her about the affair. Then the awkward dinner scene happens with Jesse where Skyler didn't look scared or terrified in the slightest. Skyler is a bad person. Just like Walt. She used to run shit in that house. Walt's cancer happened and that finally allowed him to realize the man he is/wanted to be. She resented the cancer and Walt before he became "Heisenberg". Which is a term and train of thought I hate referencing but this is the short hand reply.

    Walt is honest about who and what he is. At least to himself. Skyler isn't. And the people that seem to think she is scared and her shit doesn't stink as a result of it, seem to appreciate and understand the show on a very superficial level. To the point that I'd wager they watch and like the show simply because everyone else does. And I know that is insulting and arrogant, and I apologize if it offends, but again....

    "Every time I get into a Skyler argument, it boils down to me having a valid argument and other people going, "I like the show because I like the show and I think that means me believing she is terrified and therefore her shit doesn't stink ever"."

  • chanohack

    To your other points: Skyler chain-smoking and blowing the smoke everywhere is mean and passive-agressive, but I think it's a stretch to say she's actually trying to exacerbate Walt's cancer. If she really wanted to hurt him (or if she was okay with it in the first place), she'd pick another method.

    During her talk with Marie, I felt like Skyler was being genuine (especially in contrast to Walt's talks with Hank, which were obviously orchestrated). And it seemed like she was about to crack to Marie, when Marie revealed she knew about the affair. This is how I interpreted it (and it's okay if you think I'm full of shit): I think it reminded her that Walt is ten steps ahead. I think it helped her steel herself because Walt would never crack like she was about to, because he has an answer for everything, and she doesn't want to roll over let him win (and if you think that makes her a bad person, I disagree). I think it pissed her off (as it should: Walt was at fault for Skyler freaking out on Marie, and he threw her under the bus again), and as a fearful person myself, I can tell you there is NOTHING like a good dose of anger for pushing your fears aside. And, most importantly, it gave her an out for that conversation-- Marie didn't ask the inevitable question "what are you talking about" because she thought she already knew the answer. You're not wrong that Marie's revelation changed her mind, but I don't think she immediately went into "revenge" mode. Because, what can she do about it? Nothing. She can sit around in the house smoking and being distant. It's her only move.

  • chanohack

    (Before you read this you should know I haven't watched the last episode of S5 PtI yet. Getting on that as soon as Boyfriend is up for it; he's on the porch mourning Mike. So maybe this is all shortsighted.)

    Like I said, Skyler isn't perfect. And like I said, I wouldn't like her as much if she was. But Skyler has a clear line between what she sees as acceptable and what she doesn't: she didn't like intimidating Ted into doing what she needed, but she could live with it. But she's not okay with hurting him, even though it wasn't what she wanted, and it's eating at her-- in that scene with Marie you mentioned, she said "we" are bad parents, "we" are bad for the kids. She absolutely wants the kids away from Walt, but she knows she's dangerous too, and she isn't okay with that part. That's the line: hurting people.

    And that's why she's over Walt, because (from her point of view, and she's probably right) he's totally fine with hurting or killing people. Any remorse he shows is probably faked (except maybe with Mike?). That's too much for her, and that's what makes her a better person (and a more compelling character) than Walt. I'm the first to admit I LOVE HER, so maybe I'm biased, but I'd argue that she isn't a bad person, but a person who has done bad things. (Like Jesse. And Hank. And Marie.) And she knows it. And she seems ready to accept the very painful consequences.

    As to her running the house before Walt broke bad, the only things she ran were the finances (and sometimes breakfast). I didn't see her as a control freak. There's that scene early on when she asks Walt if he used "the credit card that we don't use," and I think it gives people a bad taste for Skyler but really, WHAT is the "okay" way to bring that subject up? She saw a charge she didn't understand, asked him about it, and then reminded him (gently, I think) not to use that card. She didn't know he more pressing shit on his mind. It seems sooooo bitchy that she brings it up while he's contemplating death and leaving his family with nothing, but it's a normal conversation that married people have, and Walt's circumstance makes it suck for him, but she didn't know that because HE DIDN'T TELL HER. About his cancer. Come on, she's controlling? WALT is the control freak. Again and again.

    And, I'm not accusing you of this or anything, but I think in many cases (my bro, for example), the reason people don't like Skyler running the finances, or making decisions, or making a move without talking to Walt (when he makes tons without talking to her) is because she's the wife, and a wife just shouldn't be like that. A wife should support. Husbands get more leeway.

    Again, not accusing you. But that's bullshit.

  • Three_nineteen

    That fourth picture might be of a sacrificial lamb maybe?

    Oh and AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGH I CAN"T WAIT UNTIL SUNDAY

  • Lauren_Lauren

    I don't like Skylar, but it *is* pretty badass that she can pour wine into her glass without even looking. As she is standing up, to boot.

  • apsutter

    That whole scene was fucking amazing.

  • emmalita

    That is badass.

  • stella

    Aaron paul should never ever cry. Like its seriously distressing on a fundamental level.

  • BrokenWindows

    Thanks for defending Skyler. "What a bitch, Walt should be able to lie and kill people and sell drugs and she should just lay down and like it!"

  • GDI

    Walt is doing all this awful business for the sake of his family. Albeit, he is severely misguided.
    And c'mon, IFT? That was uncalled for.

  • bbmcrae

    You should probably watch the last season again and reevaluate that viewpoint.

  • Lisa

    Sorry, but I don't believed for 1 second that Walt is doing this for his family. Walt might believed he is, nut all he is doing I'd lying to himself.

    And I always find it curious when people bring up cheating with Skyler but never seem to have a similar issue with the many many male character who cheat. Just seems odd to me.

  • GDI

    Walt is a classic sociopath; he has had others pay for his crimes and he's generally guilt free. Lying through his teeth and having no moral qualms with killing anyone that gets in his way.
    Yes, I should've elaborated on that, but it seems fairly obvious that Walt is far gone. He still believe that he is in the right. The devil can believe he is doing the work of the righteous, even if he is far off base.
    The name of the series is basically just that; a story of someone who believes the ends justify the means, with no redemption nor salvation.

    I will continue to hate Skylar. Just because she is attempting to do the right thing, being self-righteous (and at times, selfish) about it doesn't make you a good, or at least, a better person.

  • $1754390

    Walt is not doing this for his family. Not anymore. He could have stopped ages ago with all the money he made and they would have been able to live comfortably for the rest of their lives. No, he's doing it now for pure ego.

  • BrokenWindows

    He also could have taken the job at gray matter and not needed to turn to crime. He let pride get in the way, and put himself and his family in danger for it.

  • BrokenWindows

    She certainly made her mistakes. But they're understandable given the situation she's in. Walt has killed people, and he gets a free pass, because he's the "hero" of the show. Skyler bangs another dude after she's already tried to divorce Walt, and she's the devil. Doesn't make sense.

  • GDI

    No, wrong.
    Walt is the devil, who happens to be more entertaining then watching the angels trying to correct him.
    Skylar usually does try to do the right thing for most of the series, but it doesn't make me hate her any less.

  • Zoozoo

    We loved Jane? I really didn't.....

  • The_Ghost_of_Bo_Crowder

    I miss Mike.

  • dizzylucy

    I have a lot to do this weekend, but there's an 80% chance I will blow a lot of that off and rewatch Breaking Bad in preparation for Sunday night.

  • Meli_V

    My excited is now extra hyped!

  • stella

    Seriously, please layoff Skylar. Its been a rough year for her.

  • Sirilicious

    Totally agree. I have only started watching BB 3 weeks ago and marathonned my way through the whole thing. I feel for her "yes, again, i am the bitch mom that has to take things away" BECAUSE SHE WANTS HER FAMILY TO LAST BEYOND ONE YEAR OF EPIC SPENDING AND PARTYING. PREFERABLY OUTSIDE OF PRISON.

    Sorry, i thought this was ok, seeing how joanna was capsing her Skylerlove too. Or at least non-hate.

  • Julie M

    Yeah Bitch!

  • Mrs. Julien

    Say Overlords, who will doing the recaps? I haven't used the word "hubris" in about a year and I want to warm up my vocabulary.

  • jptaylorsg

    BB recaps have been a Daniel Carlson joint, and all to the better. I've always claimed to like MM better, but I am terribly geeked for this Sunday.

  • Bea Pants

    Sky Blue Margaritas! I'VE FOUND THE DRINK RECIPE FOR MY BREAKING BAD WATCH PARTY!. Also on the menu are Heisenbergers (they'll have little porkpie hats), Albertson's green beans and cupcakes with a delicious blue meth crumbled topping. I have never wished for the end of a weekend so hard!

  • chanohack

    I added these Blue "Meth" Margaritas to my list of bribes (which already includes beer and pizza) to try and convince people to let me come to their houses and watch Breaking Bad this season-- still no takers. :(

  • esmme

    Dammit, Joanna, could you not have waited to post this until the workday was over? Now on top of all my Friday stuff I have to deal with crying quietly at my desk.

    Stupid Aaron Paul sobbing gifs. Stupid Jesse-and-Brock gifs. Stupid everything pertaining to Mike.

  • The_Ghost_of_Bo_Crowder

    Workday is over if you're a Goddam Limey.

  • Mrs. Julien

    I loved learning that Walt's season one moustache was intentionally pathetic.

  • Wigamer

    It was such a dirt-stache.

  • DarthCorleone

    Bravo!

  • MrsAtaxxia

    So good, BITCH.

  • Horatio Postlethwaite

    Thanks for reminding me to unlike Pajiba until it's all over, because: spoilers.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Did The Overlords ever settle on a statute of limitations for spoilers? Because I think a year is fair and that's how long we've waited, and God knows it feels even longer.

  • Horatio Postlethwaite

    I'm talking about new episode spoilers.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Ooooh.

  • Horatio Postlethwaite

    I know. Not risking it.

  • Mrs. Julien

    [applauding]

  • Thomas Murphy

    Simply beautiful

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