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25 Arbitrary Pop-Culture Facts that NO ONE DENIES

By Dustin Rowles | Seriously Random Lists | June 26, 2014 | Comments ()


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1. Can’t Hardly Wait is a more rewatchable 90’s teen movie than Clueless. This is scientific fact.

2. Soda taste better with ice, even if the canned or bottled soda is already cold. Period.

3. Though the same cannot be said today, Val Kilmer was more bangable than Robert Downey, Jr. in the 90s.

4. Pitched correctly, a Gilly movie could be the greatest horror movie in a generation.

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5. Besides The Avengers, Captain America Winter Soldier is the best Marvel movie so far.

6. “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” was the best theme song of the 1990s.

7. The five best animated films of the last 5 years were not Pixar movies. They were, in order, The LEGO Movie, How to Train Your Dragon, Wreck-It-Ralph, Frozen, and How to Train Your Dragon 2. This is irrefutable.

8. You liked the Counting Crows. I liked the Counting Crows. We all liked the Counting Crows. But the Counting Crows were never really very good.

9. Piper Chapman is not the most annoying character on Orange is the New Black. Dayanara Diaz is.

10. Broad City is better than Girls. This isn’t even up for debate.

11. So I Married an Axe Murderer is Mike Myers’ best movie.

12. The Lost finale was more satisfying than the How I Met Your Mother finale.

13. Emma Thompson > Emma Stone > Emma Watson > Emma Roberts

14. Rick and Morty is better than Archer.

15. Nobody with kids cares about your pets, nobody with pets cares about your kids.

16. That Thing You Do! is better than Empire Records

17. Stannis Baratheon’s plotline is slightly less boring but slightly more annoying than Bran Stark’s plotline.

18. Steve Coogan would’ve been a slightly better David Brent than Ricky Gervais on the UK The Office

19. Dave Holmes was the most likable MTV VJ of all time.

20. Ghostbusters was better than Back to the Future. No. Back to the Future was better than Ghostbusters. No. Shit. Nevermind. That one’s impossible.

21. The funniest season of a network sitcom since season two of Community was season two of Happy Endings. The best season was Parks and Recreation season four.

22. Stephen Colbert > Stephen Tobolowsky > Stephen Moyer > Stephen Dorff

23. Chipotle > Qdoba > Moes (if you’re in Boston, Anna’s beats them all).

24. The Phil Collins episode of This American Life is the best episode of This American Life.

25. Tastykakes are neither cakes nor tasty. They are highly sweetened lard loafs with the not very subtle taste of cellophane. However, their consumption is unavoidable.







Are you following Pajiba on Facebook or Twitter? Every time you do, Bill Murray crashes a wedding.


Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not


  • candace hathaway

    So you're saying that The LEGO Movie was better than Up. You're going to stick to that story.

  • Robert Sanchez III

    I take issue with #2, but I love you for #10 so ill disregard the one hiccup.

  • Langolyer

    13. Emma Thompson > Emma Stone > Emma Watson > Emma Roberts
    Yeah... Only if we are talking about age.

  • Barry Ronk

    Actually if you're in Bahstan Boloco beats them all handily!

  • Dush Ku

    I had to look up who Emma Roberts was so #13 is true.

  • hater from siloam springs

    #7 is complete crap. You know for a fact that The Incredibles is better than Frozen. Shut up: you KNOW it!

    #9: nope. JJ Jackson was the ultimate non-intimidating Black guy,which makes him the best VJ ever.

    But: You just won the internet with #5 Rowles. There is no truer true fact than #5.

  • The Gaf

    The Incredibles (2004). Not made in the last 5 years, as per the assertion.

  • wankstar

    Anna's is the shit, i may hit that place up for lunch.

  • anikitty

    It's Pajiba. Clearly there will be disputes.

  • tarkin12

    #25 made me laugh. Being from around Philly we always had these horrid turds foisted on us as a "treat," or the lazy kids would bring them in on their birthdays.

  • DizMixen

    Good god, man. Everyone knows the Hamlet in jail episode is the BEST This American Life episode.

  • John G.

    22. Stephen Colbert > Stephen Tobolowsky > Stephen Moyer > All other Humans > Stephen Dorff

  • John G.

    16. That Thing You Do! is better than Empire Records

    http://i.imgur.com/fzb0cec.gif

  • Jezzer

    Yes, really. Empire Records was shit. If it were made today, every single one of those self-absorbed fuckers would be writing on Thought Catalog.

  • John G.

    fine, but worse than fucking Tom Hanks 60's nostalgia vomit?

  • Jezzer

    YES.

  • Tooty Futts

    Clueless >>>>> Can't Hardly Wait

  • lonestarr357

    #7: You left out ParaNorman. Not cool.

  • Siyabonga Africa

    I'd swap out Frozen for Kung Fu Panda in the animated movie list. Just saw the first episode of Rick and Morty so I won't put up too much of an argument for it being better than Archer...but Archer is the best. Winter Soldier was definitely the best Marvel movie after The Avengers, followed by Iron Man and then Thor.

  • "14. Rick and Morty is better than Archer."

    "16. That Thing You Do! is better than Empire Records"

  • Dan Harmon is even more overrated than Wes Anderson is. I know, I didn't think that was possible either.

  • Steven Boom Riley

    Steve Coogan a better David Brent than Ricky Gervais? That is quite possibly the most absurd statement in the history of the internet.. Do you want trolls? Because this is how you get trolls.

  • MHJ

    1. Can’t Hardly Wait is a more rewatchable 90’s teen movie than Clueless. This is scientific fact.

    Wow, the first one and it's so frigging wrong xDD

  • Tecuya

    #24 definitely. Totally changed my opinion on Phil Collins.

  • Zeus McGuinnes

    Stopped reading when you started liabising Stannis; the one true king of westeros.

  • Some Guy

    I thought Chipotle was better than Qdoba too, that is until I went into a Chipotle and realized that they only have Tobasco sauce for you to use, as opposed to the Cholula sauce that Qdoba has.

    And Cholula is by far the better hot sauce.

  • manting

    Chipotle is junk. If you are near Wilmington De go to El Diablo Burrito and it CRUSHES Chipotle.

  • I refuse to compare Can't Hardly Wait to Clueless. I love them both too much. They're both classics.

  • TQB

    #23 Anna's - YES!!

  • Uriah_Creep

    Dustin: I reject your reality and substitute my own.

  • foolsage
  • Lauren_Lauren

    12. The Lost finale was more satisfying than the How I Met Your Mother finale.

    NOOOOOOOPE.

  • Michelle

    Ha, I (ashamedly) don't always read the bylines on these, but immediately knew Dustin wrote it when he mentioned Anna's. BECAUSE ANNA'S IS AWESOME. (Although... to be fair, El Pelon is kind of better than Anna's.)

  • Scorptilicus

    So much to refute.

  • Rebecca Hachmyer

    12. The execution of the series finale of Lost was better than the execution of the series finale of HIMYM, but HIMYM had a stronger, more cohesive vision.

  • burgervan

    YOU ARE GODDAMN RIGHT ABOUT ANNA'S!

  • BWeaves

    Sadly, I don't know half of the things you are talking about.

    However, I'm amazingly in love with Baby Squidjesus. When was he born?

  • manting

    he wasnt born he was immaculately conceived...from an egg.

  • lowercase_ryan

    MALLRATS WAS BETTER THAN ANY 90'S ROM COM YOU CAN THINK OF!!!

    Ok not rom-com, but I feel it falls into the same category as CHW and ER

  • ehassy

    Empire Records is crap. that is all

  • Lord Inferno

    I step away for three fucking hours for a meeting and this has 220+ comments! Gorramit, do you realize how hard it is to work Disqus on a phone. Fuck this job. I can't even attemt to read this thread right now.

  • Dumily

    Do it, wade on in. It's great in there.

  • Lord Inferno

    I want to! That's not the issue. A phone keyboard simply isn't a proper conduit for this level of derangement.

  • Mrs. Julien

    Word.

  • Sara Habein

    A few of these are FIGHTIN' WORDS.

  • the_jodester

    Breaking a loooooong period of lurking here:
    a. Clueless. Every time.
    b. The Counting Crows were never good, I never liked them, and neither did you. Marketing just made you think you did.
    c. That Thing You Do! <claps>
    ...
    ...
    (goes back to lurking)

  • DarthCorleone

    1. Nope. Can't Hardly Wait is goofy. Clueless is sweet.
    2. Ice is an abomination. Why would I want to water down my Dr Pepper if it's already cold? Ridiculous. And I can accept that establishments are going to save the money and short me on how much beverage they give me, but what's the worst is when they put so much ice in there that you can't even drink the whole thing even if you tip it completely upside down!
    3. Well...even though I have no banging interest in either...of course. Doc Holliday and Jim Morrison vs. Charlie Chaplin and that shifty dude from Two Girls and a Guy? It's no contest.
    4. I don't know this Gilly person.
    5. Maybe...but Winter Soldier while good is extremely overrated.

    6. That's a good theme song, but Cheers, The X-Files and The Simpsons are superior.
    7. I don't see enough animated movies to have a strong opinion.
    8. Nope, I did not like them. At all.
    9. It's Larry. Piper's o.k. in moderate doses.

    10. What's Broad City? I like Girls, and I highly doubt things outside my personal experience are better. That's just not fathomable.
    11. Nah, it's Inglourious Basterds. Throwing that out, though, sure. But without the Charles Grodin cameo, it becomes a toss-up with the original Wayne's World.
    12. I can't dispute this. Mild satisfaction vs. no experience.
    13. This seems like a reasonable Emma hierarchy, but they're all so charmingly Emma that it seems a shame to rank them like this.
    14. I don't watch these shows.
    15. What a cynical worldview.
    16. I never watched the former in its entirety, but its respect for jazz and the completely mystifying cult status of the latter seems to support your opinion.
    17. Stannis and Bran are both fine parts of the rich tapestry that is Game Of Thrones. Why must you assail either?
    18. This opinion inspires no disputatious fire in me whatsoever.

    19. He was very good, but at times there seemed to be just a twinge of phoniness in his delivery. Still, I am o.k. with this ranking.
    20. You were right the first time. Look, Back To The Future is a very good movie, and I know y'all worship it, but its luster is diminished by its sequels, and ultimately it's just a little too safe in its narrative choices to be one of my favorites. Ghostbusters, on the other hand, is one of the five best comedies ever.
    21. Network sitcoms watched from the years this statement covers: almost zero.
    22. This ranking of Stephens is acceptable.
    23. I only know Chipotle, and it's pretty great.
    24. I guess I'll take your word for it, but he robbed Aimee Mann of an Oscar.

    25. I don't know what this is.

  • Enrique del Castillo

    You lost me at 1, got me back at 7, lost me again at 9 (seriously, Larry? Even without the Jason Biggs factor, he is a total douche pointless character), won me back at 16, lost me again at 17 (I will accept no offense to the Mannis, true king of Westeros) but finally won me completely at 18, now I like Ricky Gervais even less for taking that role from Coogan.

  • Kristinkles

    Everything except No. 16.

  • oh, honestly.
    1. is anyone really debating 'that thing you do' vs. 'empire records'? they are not. empire records is terrible.
    2. 'toy story 3' is better than anything on that list. and 'up' would be on there, too, but it's 5 years and a month old.

  • Billybob

    As Gene Hackman would say, your mouth is full of wrong.

  • Ninja_Toes

    The best five animated films of the last five years are clearly: The Secret of Kells, The Illusionist, The King of Pigs, Ernest and Celestine and The Wind Rises (in no particular order) - with maybe an honourable mention to A Cat in Paris, which fell down in plot, but has some of the best art design in the last ten years of animation.

    Best kids movie does not = best animated movie. You will notice that none of them are American either.

    Schooled!

  • _Alexander_

    1. Nothing is more rewatchable then the Fifth Element

    2. Soda taste best when it's just soda. Ice is horrible but nowhere near as horrible as goddamn lemons

    3. Cindy Crawford was the most bangable in the 90's

    4. Pitched correctly, a Davyd Lynch autobiography could be the greatest horror movie in a generation.

    5. Besides The Avengers, Thor is the best Marvel movie so far. With Sif being the best part of Thor

    6. “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” was the best theme song of the 1990s.

    7. The five best animated films of the last 5 years were not Pixar movies. They were, in order, The LEGO Movie, How to Train Your Dragon, Wreck-It-Ralph, Frozen, and How to Train Your Dragon 2. This is probable since I have no idea of timelines

    8. You liked the Spice Girls. I liked the Spice Girls.. We all
    liked the Spice Girls.. But the Spice Girls.were awesome

    9. Piper Chapman is not the most annoying character on Orange is the New Black. Jason Bigs is.

    10. Broad City is better than Girls. This isn’t even up for debate.

    11. So I Married an Axe Murderer is Mike Myers’ best movie.

    12. The Lost finale was more satisfying than the How I Met Your Mother finale.

    13. Emma Stone>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Emma Thompson > > Emma Watson > Emma Roberts

    14. Rick and Morty is better than Archer. And they all pale in comparison to Korra/The Last Airbender

    15. Nobody with kids cares about your pets, nobody with pets cares about your kids. I don't care about either your kids or your pets

    16. That Thing You Do! is better than Empire Records. Both have Liv Tyler so I am ok either way

    17. Stannis Baratheon’s plotline is slightly less boring but slightly more annoying than Bran Stark’s plotline.

    18. Steven Moffat is brilliant when it comes to writing short stories or an isolated piece of dialogue and utter dickish incompetent twat as a show runner and when it comes to writing season spanning storylines

    19. Daria was the best thing MTV jas ever produced

    20. Ghostbusters was better than Back to the Future. No. Back to the Future was better than Ghostbusters. No. Shit. Nevermind. That one’s impossible.

    21. The funniest season of a network sitcom ... is a split between Community, Parks and Recreation, Happy Endings and Don't Trust the Bitch

    22. Stephen Colbert > Stephen Tobolowsky > Stephen Moyer > Stephen Dorff

    23. Pizza > Salty Crepes> Hot Dog

    24. Perfect Strangers>This American Life.

    25. Tatiana Maslany is the bastard child of Meryl Streep and Daniel Day Lewis

    I fixed them for you

  • Slim

    Yes, on The Fifth Element.

  • Billybob

    I assume you mean that Cindy Crawford was at her most bangable in the 90s. Because the most bangable woman of the 90s was Elle MacPherson, particularly circa Sirens.

    Also, so much yes on number 2. Lemon is the absolute worst.

  • Dennis Albert Ramirez

    i was going with Alexander on Cindy Crawford but you make a fantastic point.

  • JustOP

    Not true - most bangable women is a toss up between Fairuza Balk of 'The Craft' & or Winona Ryder.

    Cornering the goth market!

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AKMH...

  • Billybob

    Fairuza Balk is the scarysexy one you want to go on crazy adventures with, of the kind that leave you with disfiguring scars which you never quite regret.

    Elle MacPherson is the one you simply want to spend as much time naked with as possible.

    To put it another way: F/M/K, I'd make sweet, respectful, love to Sirens-era Elle MacPherson, marry Nancy fron The Craft, which would last about four months and I'd be lucky to escape with my life, and kill nobody because killing people's not my bag, man.

  • JustOP

    I'm a sucker for dark short hair/dark eyes/pretty smiles. Balk and Ryder had them down. MacPherson is pretty but she doesn't do it for me.

  • _Alexander_

    Yes Sirens is a HUGE point towards Elle but Cindy in that bathtub in the Freedom video?

  • e jerry powell
    Though the same cannot be said today, Val Kilmer was more bangable than Robert Downey, Jr. in the 90s.

    To which I say: SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

    I would bang either of them at any point between 1980 and today. REPEATEDLY.

    You liked the Counting Crows. I liked the Counting Crows. We all liked the Counting Crows. But the Counting Crows were never really very good.

    Again, SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

    I was and continue to be entirely indifferent to Counting Crows. I already have R.E.M., what do I need Counting Crows for?

    No argument at all on #10.

    Stephen Colbert > Stephen Tobolowsky > Stephen Moyer > Stephen Dorff

    Perhaps correct in general, but somehow I don't think I'd laugh quite as hard at seeing naked Colbert eating Pamela Adlon's pussy, and just on a personal note, Moyer and Dorff look better naked. Don't believe me? Watch Dorff in Shadowboxer.

    Freebirds World Burrito beats the living shit out of Chipotle.

  • Calvin Poulsen

    Stephen Colbert > Stephen Root > Stephen Tobolowsky > Stephen Moyer > Stephen Dorff

  • Jim

    15a People with neither children nor pets are tired of BOTH the other groups.

    {deep breath} Your puppy is ugly as a post and there's only one infant photo on the planet and you all use the same one! {runs for door}

  • i have kids and pets and i literally could not care less about anyone's fucking dog, cat, or child.

  • Mrs. Julien

    [fist raised in solidarity]

  • webelos8

    Yeah well.. people with kids and pets are tired of people with no kids and pets, pets and no kids, and neither. Nyah! :P

  • Skitz

    Number two is spot on. For the longest time, my number one fear of the apocalypse (as it was going down) was that I'd need to scramble to get at least five pairs of backup eyewear because I'm blind as shit without glasses.

    In the past few years however, my priorities have shifted to where one of my first actions would be securing some sort of solar-powered generator and an ice machine.

    In conclusion:
    01. Solar-powered generator
    02. Ice machine
    03. Glasses
    04. Something to stab with
    05. A blanket and/or apocasweater made from Adam Duritz's stupid hair.

  • NateMan

    Nothing is better than Archer. NOTHING. And none of the animated movies you listed are better than How To Train Your Dragon, with the possible exception of its sequel, which I have yet to see.

  • Meli_V

    Fully agree with #1, I like Clueless, but I actually own a copy of Can't Hardly Wait.
    #16 Hell no! Empire Records I watch/watched all the way through and I can't even get through That Thing You Do without wanting to shove cotton in my ears. Almighty how I hate that f*cking song!
    #20 Ghostbusters, hands down, no question.
    #23 My local Taqueria trumps them all!

    I'm on board with the rest :)

  • JustOP

    >Soda taste better with ice, even if the canned or bottled soda is already cold. Period.

    Haha, I see what you did there Dustin, because Soda is called pop in some places and this is about pop-culture facts and that is a clever little pun or I'm just talking out my ass here and this sentence is beginning to run on for too long and i've already used and like 5 times now jesus.

  • Travis_J_Smith

    I can't comment on all of them, but of the ones I can I deny all but 2, 20, and 23...

  • lowercase_ryan

    Baja Fresh is better than all those

  • Allijo

    Ummmmm, can we get a post of nothing but 90's Val Kilmer? K thanks.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Nothing wrong with 1980s Kilmer!

    http://25.media.tumblr.com/f50...

  • Joe Grunenwald

    SMOLDER.

  • emmalita

    Batman as fetish model.

  • 80's Val Kilmer would like a word.

    See also: Real Genius

  • Alicia

    See also: Top Gun

  • Siege

    Seconded.

  • Modernlove

    The only thing better than this post are the comments to this post.

    And Archer is the best cartoon--nay, television show currently on air. I will fight anyone who says otherwise and I have Alton Brown on my team.

  • manting

    Venture Brothers is better. Brock motherfucking Samson. He's half Swedish, half Polish and half Winnebago. He is a murder machine.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...

  • Dumily

    Does Alton love Archer? This somehow greatly improves my esteem for both.

  • Modernlove

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?...

    Also, there's this from the DVDs extra. (tl;dw, Alton does Archers cooking show, Archer acts like Archer, Alton kicks Archers ass.)

  • Dumily

    I know it's not porn, but I also know I'm sexually aroused by it. Interesting.

  • Modernlove
  • emmalita

    My hand has been known to involuntarily make that gesture at times when I can't say sploosh out loud.

  • Lucky Yates was on Alton Brown playing weird characters long before he became Kreiger on Archer.

    Therefore, through the transitive property of television, Alton Brown loves Archer.

    (And I will fight you over Archer v. Rick and Morty - not even adding Bob's Burgers to the discussion.)

  • Dumily

    Rampage!

  • manting

    Did you see Regis this morning?

  • Dumily

    Seriously, what is cancer?!

  • manting

    Casa blumpkin

  • Dumily

    You're in the isolation booth, Lana!

  • Billybob

    Captain America 2: Red, White And Bluegaloo is the best Marvel movie, including Avengers.

  • cruzzercruz

    Can't I have my Archer and Rick and Morty all at once? Do I really have to choose one? You inhumane bastard.

  • Wigamer

    That Thing You Do is better than everything. Hmpf.
    And Stannis Baratheon is infinitely improved because he is played by Stephen Dillane, AKA hot Thomas Jefferson.

  • Wrestling Fan

    COUNTING CROWS??
    Uch, they make me ashamed to be from the Bay Area. They were the worst example of Whiny White Boy Music.

  • Dumily

    I would still argue Staind. Or maybe Linkin Park. Or possibly Incubus. Good lord, there were a lot of shitty bands when I was in college.

  • JustOP

    You can't imagine the kind of abstract shame I feel when people look through my iPod and see Hoobastank. It's one song! Crawling in the Dark, I can't help it, it's my jam.

  • Dumily

    It's ok. I sometimes still ask my younger brother to sing "Last Resort" to me. It's not a good song, but his rendition of it is amazing.

  • Bedewcrock

    Hoobastank. God.

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