16 Out-of-Context Insults Republicans Could Use Against Obama that Are More Insulting than Metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln
In case you haven't heard, the NYTimes is reporting that Joe Rickets -- the founder of the brokerage firm TD Ameritrade, and the patriarch of the Chicago family that owns the Cubs -- is funding a Republican Super PAC effort to the tune of $10 million that's apparently meant to provocatively paint President Obama as a "metrosexual, black Abe Lincoln."
Metrosexual black Abe Lincoln? That sounds like an AWESOME candidate. I would vote for that guy early and often. What's not to love? The values of Abe Lincoln and the fashion style of, oh, I don't know: Jake Gyllenhaal, Brad Pitt, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Reynolds, David Beckham? Why wouldn't I vote for that guy?
Indeed, I think the GOP Super PACs can do a lot better than "metrosexual black Abe Lincoln." It's really not hard to scan a few photos of Obama and come up with far more cutting out-of-context insults. Like, say, these, for instance.
His Terrible Whistling Can Clear a Room
He's Been Known to Contribute to the Delinquency of Minors
He's a Close Talker
He Passes Gas When His Wife Walks By and Often Blames It On Her
He Hates White People
He Sleeps on the Job
He'll Steal the Dandelion-Blowing Thunder Away from Children
He's Gay for Clooney
He's an Angry Alcoholic
He's a Disapproving Jerk
He's the Woman in the Spooning Position
He's a Terrible Driver
Jeez, Dude! Again with the Close Talking
He's Possessed by Demonic Forces
He Kowtows to Children
He Negotiates with Pirates