Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | May 10, 2016
Drink this in, folks:
Here's to America the beautiful. Hold her high this summer. #ThisBudsForYou pic.twitter.com/6uUd92MTJB
— Budweiser (@Budweiser) May 10, 2016
Now, quickly spit it out because it tastes like the sweat from a hobo’s beard.
If you can’t quite figure out what that spinny GIF in the ad is trying to tell you, it’s that Budweiser — the Bleeding Hemophiliac King of Beers — is changing its name to “America.”
It makes perfect sense, because our associations with a country that Donald Trump is threatening to take over couldn’t quite get any worse. Now, America will be associated with a beer owned by a Belgian conglomerate that produces skunky water that tastes as though it’s been strained through the crust that accumulates beneath your big toe nail.
America: Land of the free, home of water filtered through dirty butt cracks. Mom. Apple Pie, and the canned run-off of armpit farts.
