Let's Be Crassly Cynical About These Celebrities Posing for Photos at a Soup Kitchen

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Let's Be Crassly Cynical About These Celebrities Posing for Photos at a Soup Kitchen

By Dustin Rowles | Miscellaneous | November 23, 2012 | Comments ()


I'm sorry, but James Van Der Beek has ruined celebrity volunteers at soup kitchens for me forever, thanks to this week's "Don't Trust the B--- in Apt. 23." You just know that Neil Patrick Harris, Matt Bomer, Zachary Levi (with dreadfully blonde hair), showed up, had their picture took, and skipped out, only to have the soup kitchen bodyguards show up at their houses and drag them back in, reminding them that you actually have to WORK when you volunteer at soup kitchen.

So, let's sit in front of our laptops while the food is still digesting from our marathon binge-eating-and-sleeping stints, feel the gravy congeal in our veins, pass a little turkey gas, and judge these celebrities who took time away from their families yesterday to engage in transparent publicity stunts, ladling out food to the homeless like the fame whores they obviously are.







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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • crispin

    Dick Van Dyke was there and couldn't care less about having his picture taken by the press. The man is pure magic.

  • mona_sterling

    Can I just point out that Blair Underwood is almost fifty and still damn hot?

  • fluxion187

    As I write this, I am currently sitting in a coffee shop in Ojai, CA. It's the little weird town that "Easy A" was shot and set in (and pretty well portrayed by that film). It also happens to be the town that a one Zachary Pugh, a.k.a. Zachary Levi (Levi is his middle name) grew up and went to high school in, with my wife. When I was a bit of a younger lad, I was directing a one act play in a festival at the nearby Ventura Community college. Mr. Pugh auditioned, and it was clear from the start that he was head and shoulders above the standard fair that I was going to get. But he also knew it and well before he got a professional break, had the juevos to tell all the directors he wasn't going to touch anything but the lead role in just one of the plays that HE decided he was best for. The more things change, the more they stay the same, I guess. Bitter? Maybe, a bit. I'm not doing to bad now either. One time (no bullshit) I randomly came across a Nepalese man in the middle of the Himalayas who fell down the side of a mountain broke his leg in a compound fracture. My wife and I helped him get airlifted to a hospital that was a two day walk away from his house. I've had countless other crazy adventures. So, whether or not these people are famous and whoring it up, really doesn't make a damn bit of difference to you or any one else. Let them be egotistical and we'll continue enjoying their idiocy, and hopefully some money actually comes in from the five minutes they spent on that food line.

  • ed newman

    OK. So let me get this straight. A prospective employee decided that he was going to decide who he was willing to work for and in what job capacity and not the other way around? The gall! Was all this done at gunpoint?

  • Buck Forty

    How long have you been waiting to tell that story?

  • fluxion187

    I grew up 45 minutes north of Los Angeles. I've got a million of them. Don't have to wait. Unfortunately, I am marinated in this shit. Not proud of it, it's just geography that I live in a corridor where an ass load of the really rich and affluent of Hollywood use to escape Hollywood. That same little town of Ojai is home to Anthony Hopkins, Malcolm, McDowell, the late Larry Hagman, and the list goes on. It's really fucking weird here.

  • googergieger

    I don't like soup.

  • PDamian

    Back when I was in college, I volunteered at soup kitchens and "gospel rescue missions" all the time. Not out of altruism, but because I was dirt poor and needed the free meal. I got to know a lot of the other regulars, too -- the ones who were hopeless drunks and addicts, the ones who were just down on their luck and needed a hand up, the ones who, once having fallen out of the middle/working class, just couldn't figure out how to get back on their feet. The families were the saddest. No child deserves that.

    Now, as a reasonably successful adult, I give bucks to the local shelter and kitchen whenever I can, and this time of year, I like to go crazy with the "Angel Tree" gifts. I haven't actively volunteered in a soup kitchen in years, but I figure they need my money more than my hands. Folks, if you can't volunteer, the shelters and pantries can always use a cash infusion, no matter how small.

  • prince_of_montagu

    Matt Bomer can serve me food any day of the week.

    That doesn't make sense, but i don't even care. Bomer.

  • bleujayone

    You really want to be cynical? Ask and ye shall receive.

    Let's address the fact that people who are in such trouble that they need sustenance provided from a soup kitchen generally eat more than just on Thanksgiving and Christmas. So while it's great that some celebrities are able to quell any pangs of guilt they might experience from having so much when others struggle for so little just by handing out a few helpings of mashed potatoes once a year, it doesn't really endear me to them. It's as though what's done between the holidays can carry over for the rest of the year. Sometimes, a regular commitment of time and effort are all that is required. I find it almost laughable that those with so little by comparison are far less stingy offering that than many celebrities who put so much effort trying to show off what little they may do.

    Does this mean all celebrities do this? No, not all. However there always seems to be this aura around celebrity volunteerism that suggests what they do is somehow more significant that those ordinary people who do so all the time.

    Here's an idea, how about helping out say once every month and without turning it a narcissistic photo opportunity. That's right, just go there without fanfare and help your fellow human beings. You don't often hear about that happening. Usually if most of them do anything beyond the chance to show themselves off as humanitarians, they'll throw some money at the problem (and often with as much effort to turn that act into free publicity too). "Heeeey, look what I did!"

    I myself have volunteered at soup kitchens and homeless shelters. It keeps me humble and reminds me that not only are these real people and not just faceless statistics, but that under the right set of unfortunate circumstance, most of us could find ourselves in a similar situation where we could use a hand. If I died tomorrow and my obituary never mentioned I did that from time to time, I would be fine with that. I didn't do so that other people would have proof I was a decent person. I did it to be a decent person- period. In fact there's almost something contradictory to my even speaking about doing this, but at least I'm not doing it with the hopes that it be mentioned on Entertainment Tonight or gets a a picture published in People Magazine. I don't do it for the reciprocated gratitude or some sort of self-righteous
    ego-stroking. I do it because it's the right thing to do and I to this
    day still can't figure out why so many celebrities feel the need to
    pervert or otherwise cheapen being nice and doing good things. If one needs constant recognition for doing the right things, then you've completely missed the point of having compassion and humanity.

  • scheiss

    And how do you know that some celebrities don't go to soup kitchens and the like on regular basis to help out, except that only makes news around the holidays?

    You don't because you're a fucking ungrateful little shit. I notice that you said that you 'have' volunteered at ...oh who gives a fuck because YOU DON'T DO IT ANY MORE BECAUSE YOU ARE A SELFISH SELF ABSORBED LITTLE SHIT.

  • duckandcover

    Does this mean all celebrities do this? No, not all.

    And .. boom goes the dynamite.

  • Blake

    Other than Ackerman, NPH and Shirley (That's Nice), I have no idea who any of these people are.

    "I’m sorry, but James Van Der Beek has ruined celebrity volunteers"

    Ruined what? Your belief that celebrities are not the altruistic entities you thought they were?

  • I was gonna say something cynical, but was distracted by Matt Bomer's eyes. Sorry.

  • Bert_McGurt

    Yvette Nicole Brown looks a little out of it - maybe because of how hard the cast partied after Chevy finally quit?

    And is blond Zachary Levi auditioning for the lead in an ill-advised Nickelback movie?

  • Frank Berrodin

    I hope Zachary Levi's blondage is for a role (Maybe Thor?)... Side note: that Malin Ackerman is so freaking hot.

  • Blake

    YNB? She looks fine. But NPH on the other hand looks thrilled to be there (*see header photo)...

    Side Note: Stephen Collins totally gets my vote to play Joe Biden when Lifetime makes the movie about him.

  • Jezzer

    NPH just looks like that because Captain Hammer is schmoozing Penny off-camera.

  • e jerry powell

    Not gonna happen. I'm not letting Collins out of his contract for playing my secret older gay husband. I don't care if Richard Chamberlain swears he already aced the audition.

  • TherecanbeonlyoneAdmin

    Sponsored by Toyota.

  • I'm assuming that icky blonde hair is for his role in "Thor 2" and not because he thought it was a valid life choice.

  • zeke_the_pig

    Really they should just get the guy who played the Soup Nazi to do a bit of this.

  • superasente

    Those selfish bastards with their generosity of spirit - who do they think they are?!

  • Jezzer

    The Thanksgiving episode of "Don't Trust the B" confirmed every suspicion I've ever had about photo ops.

    No, wait. The soup kitchen episode of Paul Ryan's Vice Presidential campaign did that.

  • duckandcover

    THANK YOU. When the article started out with "James Van Der Beek," I was like, are we just forgetting Paul Ryan's awkward bullshit during the campaign or what.

  • randomhookup

    I once volunteered at a food bank with Ben Affleck. He came in for the photo op of sorting food, joked with us about fake volunteering and then spoke to the press. Ultimately, he generated a ton of publicity for the cause and got the press attention the food bank wanted (and we all ended up with a group pic with Ben).

  • Jezzer

    But did he make animal crackers dance on your belly?

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