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The Absolute Worst Thing About Pixar's 'Inside Out' Had Nothing to Do with the Movie Itself

By Dustin Rowles | Film | September 1, 2016 | Comments ()

By Dustin Rowles | Film | September 1, 2016 |


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I took the kid to see Inside Out the night it opened a couple of weeks ago, and it was absolutely phenomenal, maybe my favorite Pixar movie to date, although it may have been traumatic for my kid who had to see his father uncontrollably shed big shitty tears like a goddamn ninny. It was a stunning emotional achievement, and — as Vivian wrote — likely to wreck any “human with human based emotions.”

But it wasn’t all perfection. Can we talk about “Lava,” Pixar’s short film that preceded the feature? Because it was horrible, a creepy obnoxious short with a song so terrible that — playing it just now — my wife asked, “Oh God, what is that awful song? Please turn it off!”

In fact, my son turned to me during the short — not realizing that it wasn’t the movie — and said, “Dad, I don’t like this. I don’t think I’m going to like the movie very much.” In his assessment afterwards,he suggested that Pixar “should cancel it. It is terrible. It is not good. They should pull it straight-away.”

It’s bad.

In short, it’s about a creepy looking male volcano who sings a terrible ukulele-based ditty about finding someone to love. However, he sings it for, like, centuries, as he spews lava and shrinks in size until he’s under water. What he doesn’t realize, however, is that his atrocious song has been inspiring a super creepy female volcano to rise to the surface, only once she makes it, the male volcano is underneath. So she sings the song, inspiring him to rise above sea level so that the two creepy volcanos can live happily ever after.

This is what the male and female volcanoes look like.

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Here’s the song. WARNING: MAY CAUSE INTERNAL BLEEDING AND/OR SEIZURES. DO NOT OPERATE HEAVY MACHINERY WHILE LISTENING.

I haven’t said anything up until now because I thought that I was alone in my hatred, because we all think that everything Pixar does magical perfection that comes from rainbows and unicorns. Fortunately, a quick trip through Twitter illustrated that there were plenty of folks who agreed with me (although, there were a smattering of insane people on Twitter defending it).



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