Old School. Biblically Independent.
By Kristy Puchko | Celebrity | March 20, 2017
Being in an airport after dark is an experience often tedious, and frequently terrible. But comics icon Gail Simone had a memorable and hilarious experience last night upon reaching New York City’s JFK airport. And as is the way with weird airline travel, she took to Twitter to share it.
Okay. I mentioned last night that I witnessed a hilarity in the NYC airport. Shall I share? Warning, this is not sophisticated humor AT ALL.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
Second, I have to set the scene a bit. We were tired from 12 hours of travel and had landed in New York, at JFK very late, after midnight.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
There was a fancy shmancy coffee/pastry bar thing still open, hubby & I put our stuff there to use the restrooms, taking turns to clean up.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
Now, some of this is supposition because we did not talk to the people involved. But there was a family and a couple there, unrelated.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
…what I believe to be a 50+-ish mom, and her three adult kids, two sons and a daughter. Very proper, Christian-looking churchgoers, maybe.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
But mom is a bit cranky. For some reason, she's grumpy, right? She looks like she's never complained in her life, but tonight, grumpy.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
Now here, I am speculating. I believe that the mom and her husband (whom we never saw, dammit) stayed overnight in NYC at their son's house.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
So, the daughter asks, "didn't you get any sleep in Kim's room, mom?"
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
Here's where things go completely Benny Hill.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
The mom says, "Oh, you know your father, the vent made him cold so he kept banging me all night."
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
The mom clearly has no idea what she just said, her kids are struggling not to go hysterical, and the daughter says…
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
Meanwhile, the Asian couple are struggling not to fall on the floor over this prim proper mom's banging problem…
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
'We DID move the bed, and THEN your FATHER was banging me up against the wall all NIGHT!"
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
And the Asian girl LITERALLY spit out her coffee right on her husband/boyfriend. A LITERAL SPIT-TAKE.
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
Who finally gets what she said, and she says, "Oooh, you're all terrible."
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
And that's how I learned that JFC coffee bars are infernal pits of raw Middle-aged carnality. :)
— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017
