Being in an airport after dark is an experience often tedious, and frequently terrible. But comics icon Gail Simone had a memorable and hilarious experience last night upon reaching New York City’s JFK airport. And as is the way with weird airline travel, she took to Twitter to share it.

Okay. I mentioned last night that I witnessed a hilarity in the NYC airport. Shall I share? Warning, this is not sophisticated humor AT ALL.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

Second, I have to set the scene a bit. We were tired from 12 hours of travel and had landed in New York, at JFK very late, after midnight.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

There was a fancy shmancy coffee/pastry bar thing still open, hubby & I put our stuff there to use the restrooms, taking turns to clean up.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

Now, some of this is supposition because we did not talk to the people involved. But there was a family and a couple there, unrelated.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

…what I believe to be a 50+-ish mom, and her three adult kids, two sons and a daughter. Very proper, Christian-looking churchgoers, maybe.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

But mom is a bit cranky. For some reason, she's grumpy, right? She looks like she's never complained in her life, but tonight, grumpy.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

Now here, I am speculating. I believe that the mom and her husband (whom we never saw, dammit) stayed overnight in NYC at their son's house.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

So, the daughter asks, "didn't you get any sleep in Kim's room, mom?"

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

Here's where things go completely Benny Hill.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

The mom says, "Oh, you know your father, the vent made him cold so he kept banging me all night."

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

The mom clearly has no idea what she just said, her kids are struggling not to go hysterical, and the daughter says…

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

Meanwhile, the Asian couple are struggling not to fall on the floor over this prim proper mom's banging problem…

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

'We DID move the bed, and THEN your FATHER was banging me up against the wall all NIGHT!"

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

And the Asian girl LITERALLY spit out her coffee right on her husband/boyfriend. A LITERAL SPIT-TAKE.

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

Who finally gets what she said, and she says, "Oooh, you're all terrible."

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

And that's how I learned that JFC coffee bars are infernal pits of raw Middle-aged carnality. :)

— GAIL SIMONE (@GailSimone) March 20, 2017

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