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Justin Bieber is Jacked...It's Confusing

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | October 10, 2013 | Comments ()


bieber tantrum 08mar13 01.jpg

Hi. I’m not comfortable.

imagy.jpg

You know those photos of those creepy child bodybuilders? That’s what I feel like I’m looking at. It’s not right. None of this is right.

And never forget that someone with a body like that demanded he be carried up the Great Wall of China like a 3-year-old on his dad’s shoulders at a parade.



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Comments Are Welcome, Jerks Will Be Banned


  • hilldomain

    I mean he is Canadian. That explains a lot.

  • Stephen Wong

    A skinny guy with abs, is like a fat girl with tits.

    It doesn't count.

  • kirbyjay

    I am going to frame Baby Beiber and put it on my freakin wall so I will be guaranteed a good laugh every single day. Everyone needs a good laugh every single day.
    Have you laughed today?

  • Qualtinger

    "Jacked" in this case is just a question of body fat percentage. Given that performing concerts is a job that burns a lot of calories and that he surely has a personal trainer and nutritionist and is 20 years old, it´s not that surprising. He also seems to be flexing his whole body while trying to maintain a relaxed looking pose, which is why it looks so "fake". And while it´s probably not "shopped" in the conventional sense it´s heavily filtered for added contrast, enhancing the cut look even more.

    What am I even doing here …

  • HerringGull

    Justin Bieber reminds me of the bully in this video:
    http://youtu.be/isfn4OxCPQs

  • St

    Dear Justin. You can change your body but you can’t change your baby face. It still looks freaky no matter how much time you spend in gym or how much steroids you take.

  • Protoguy

    And why is he pointing at the other dude's dick?

  • Fredo

    Why is the dude picking him up out of the van like he's a toddler??

  • protoguy

    Yeah, he's "holding him back".

    Kinda like the way you hold back the air when you sit in front of a fan.

  • AgLexington

    because he is a toddler.

  • kushiro -

    Here's the improved version of that pic.

  • bastich

    I think that was his bodyguard holding him back from peeing on a photographer.

  • Babs

    Popeye is in pissed mode and going after a parparazzi. The dude is "holding him back". I want to kill myself because I know that.

  • kushiro -

    The amount of blurring in this photo makes me hope that Marty McFly went back in time and interrupted Bieber's conception.

  • dizzylucy

    This may be my favorite comment EVER.

  • kushiro -

    What else would this guy do with all his spare time? Read a book?

  • Misomaniac

    My favorite is the "I don't know how Roman Numerals work, but I still got the tatto" tattoo of the worst year that has ever befallen humanity.

  • AvaLehra

    No kidding!

  • Mrs. Julien

    My favourite is Christina Aguilera's "Xtina" tattoo because, apparently, even when injecting ink subcutaneously, checking spelling is still too much to ask. Having something permanently on my body that was spelled incorrectly (or misaligned in some way) would put me on the express train to Crazy Town.

  • protoguy

    Anything's better than a Hebrew tramp stamp...

  • Danar the Barbarian

    Don't go to Crazy Town. They're a shitty one-hit wonder band that piggybacked on a RHCP riff.

    ... meh, possibly still better than Beiber.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    I'm ashamed to say I just looked that up, because I couldn't read it. That is...wow...bad... (and I'm a little disturbed that his mother is only a year older than I am.)

  • AvaLehra

    I'm a whole lotta disturbed that I'm older than his mother.

  • Protoguy

    Same here.

  • SamuraiShampoo

    Yeah, that looks really fake.

  • Xander

    His body seems a bit weird. Especially around the arms. I wouldn't be surprised if he took the steroid shortcut

  • PDamian

    Steroids would explain the tantrums, the spitting and the odd proportions. That photo looks as if his face were Photoshopped onto the body of someone hot.

  • AgLexington

    or he's just an asshole.

  • MWimmer

    When you weigh a buck o'five it isn't hard to be shredded.

  • luthien26

    Wow, he's really gone full douche, hasn't he? Never go full douche.

  • AvaLehra

    Axe Body Spray now runs through his veins.

  • L.O.V.E.

    I am not impressed. Twenty year old metabolism, hired trainer, shitload of free time to work-out, 75% skinny vs 25% muscular.

    You want real muscles, dickwad, you squat jump up the Great Wall. You don't have Rainier Wolfcastle and his brother carrying you on their shoulders.

  • Ding! Correct answer.

  • Al Borland's Beard

    Was it in the baby snugly he used to carry Rob Schneider in the movie My Baby is an Ugly Man?

  • stella

    Dude hes wearing one of those body biulder suits like george michael.

  • dizzylucy

    Let's hope we never have to see the frontispiece.

  • stella

    Dude gross.

  • Marc Greene

    I am not an expert, but it seems photoshopped. I'm not saying that he couldn't be cut like that, but the consistency of the image seems beyond-Instagram filter odd to me.

  • TheOriginalMRod

    I am also an expert and that is clearly photoshopped.

  • ormond

    I believed that picture about the shark attacking the helicopter, and even I think this looks fake.

  • Protoguy

    I am an expert and while I can't tell for sure, there is a hell of a lot of questionable pixels, especially around his right arm. And that shoulder. Even the veins in his forearm look painted in.

    Personally, this is why I think most people really use Instagram. Not because the generic filters based on shitty past technological flaws, but that you can use those flaws to hide your own.

    Don't get me started on Angelina's tits.

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