God Dammit, Chris Brown
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God Dammit, Chris Brown

By Courtney Enlow | Celebrities Are Better than You | October 8, 2013 | Comments ()


Human sack of dicks Chris Brown did an interview. Spoiler: he acted like a big sack of dicks. So, here we are again.

Here’s the thing. You may have noticed that a few weeks back, when Brown compared himself to Trayvon Martin, I didn’t post about it. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, because he didn’t directly state, “People are still mad about me beating Rihanna unconscious because they’re racist, so I am just like Trayvon Martin.” I thought, perhaps this is out of context, I won’t post about.

Except that’s totally what he was saying.

“Community service, that shit is a bitch. I’ll be honest - and you can quote me on that - that is a motherfucker there. For me, I think it’s more of a power trip for the DA. I can speak freely now, because I don’t really care what they say about it, but as far as, like, the 1,000 extra hours they gave me, that’s totally fricking bananas.”

Did it seem vindictive to him? “Oh, absolutely. They want me to be the example. Young black kids don’t have the fairer chances. You can see Lindsay Lohan in and out of court every day, you see Charlie Sheen, whoever else, do what they want to do. There hasn’t been any incident that I started since I got on probation, even with the Frank Ocean fight, the Drake situation, all those were defense modes. People think I just walk around as the aggressor, this mad black guy, this angry, young, troubled kid, but I’m not. I’m more and more laid-back. It’s just that people know if they push a button, it’ll make more news than their music. Attaching themselves to me, good or bad, will benefit them.”

UGH, my minor punishment for BEATING A WOMAN UNCONSCIOUS AND BITING HER FACE was such a bitch. Work is hard, guys!

He lost his virginity when he was eight years old, to a local girl who was 14 or 15. Seriously? “Yeah, really. Uh-huh.” He grins and chuckles. “It’s different in the country.” Brown grew up with a great gang of boy cousins, and they watched so much porn that he was raring to go. “By that point, we were already kind of like hot to trot, you know what I’m saying? Like, girls, we weren’t afraid to talk to them; I wasn’t afraid. So, at eight, being able to do it, it kind of preps you for the long run, so you can be a beast at it. You can be the best at it.”

Like…is he bragging about being raped? And saying it’s made him great at sex? I know that 14 or 15 is not technically an adult, but we’re all in agreement that there’s a world of fucking difference between 8 and a high schooler and that that’s what this is, right?

He describes “the Rihanna incident” as “probably the biggest wake-up call for me. I had to stop acting like a little teenager, a crazy, wild young guy.” But when I ask if that’s how he thinks of himself when he looks back at that time, he snaps back, “No, not at all” as if the description had been mine and not his. “Cos you can talk with all my girls that I did mess with before, and it’s never been a violent history.” Then he switches again: “But at the same time, I learned from it, and it was almost like… I wouldn’t say it happened for a reason, but it was something to trigger my mind to be more of a mature adult. To handle myself in situations, don’t throw tantrums, don’t be a baby about it.”

I want us all to really stop and focus on this part and how he describes what “the Rihanna incident” was. Wild. Crazy. Acting like a teenager. A tantrum. Being a baby. I mean, that is the kind of understatement I cannot even comprehend.

And then he starts talking about his class about violence against women. Oh guys. He has some thoughts on it.

“I think the actual class I went to was a little bit sexist.” What does he mean? “It was beneficial because it made me cater more to a woman’s thoughts and a woman’s needs, and how to handle situations. But the class itself, no disrespect to the class, but the class itself only tells you you’re wrong, you’re wrong, you’re wrong.” I ask him to elaborate, but he seems to check himself. “Well, I don’t want to get too far into that.”

…Are you fucking kidding me? The class was sexist because it didn’t tell you, “you were at least a little bit justified in beating the ever-living shit out of this girl” and high fiving you because bitches, man?

Just…just god dammit, Chris Brown. Just god dammit everything all the time.

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Comments Are Welcome, Bigots and Trolls Are Not

  • That picture is still freaking me out. If you're going to keep posting it at least tell me the dog made it out ok.

  • Bananapanda

    Can't we just put Chris Brown and Joe Francis in a jail cell, lose the key and walk away? I'd like that.

  • BlackRabbit

    Why "bag of dicks" as an insult? Are dicks innately bad?

  • foolsage

    Once they're severed and collected in a bag, their appeal tends to diminish in the eyes of most people. :D

  • stella

    I really wish he wouldput down that puppy. Im really worried for it.

  • foolsage

    You made me snarf tea through my nose.

  • Even that puppy wants to get away from him.

  • Theron

    Didn't read the article, just wanted to say that Chris Browns last movie bombed hard and I'm glad. Proceed.

  • ZbornakSyndrome

    Is it gross that Charlie Sheen still has a job and fans? Yes, totally.

    But that doesn't mean that Chris Brown should get a break, it means that Sheen's punishments should be harsher.
    The fact that he sees himself as some sort of symbol for what's inherently racist in the justice system makes me sick. The amount of wealth and privilege he had to get off with probation for a battery charge is not the same as the thousands of black men that do get screwed by the system.
    And you're not Trayvon Martin. You're a rich bastard that shows no remorse for his actions.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    You know, I dislike him as much as the next person, always have and I can't really see that changing until he undergoes a MASSIVE overhaul of his life, get some scruples and principles, not give people fodder (because depending on who you are people will be more or less forgiving and we're still not at a place where one black person doesn't have the carry the load for what some do, so he has to get his shit in order because it affects us too and most of us didn't do a damn thing), he's got to grow up and humble himself and take some frigging responsibility. A delusional and annoying mess with no sense of proportion.

    With that out of the way, on the topic of the response to him having been raped at age eight: what the fuck?

    Just try to distance yourself from the identity of the speaker for a second. A person admits to having been sexually abused as a child and the response is, 'we've just been given a new reason to hate him'?

    A person becomes sexually promiscuous at an obscenely young age partly as a result of having been sexually abused at a time in his life when he barely understands what sex is and no one trots out the trendy 'slut-shaming' argument when the question of how many partners that person has had?

    There are scads of environment and communities wherein young promiscuity was and still is normalized and lauded because kids and peers weren't and aren't taught that masculinity isn't defined by sexual prowess (for girls too--if you're white you're liberated, if you're black you're a 'ho'). That and this stupid aggressiveness and being 'about that life' infects these kids and they don't know what else to do with themselves because it's all these kids know and the response is to blame the victim?

    This kind of stuff is still going on all over the place with young people-- young black people. Parents go to work for long hours and keep their kids under lock and key hoping that the only danger is outside, it's not. Young people pick up the notion that sex=wisdom, sex=worth, sex=success, sex=demonstrating power over someone, sex=the winner, sex=acceptance, sex=respect, sex=a retreat, sex=confidence, so yeah, if you're a 'high achiever' amongst your community--one in which sometimes people don't expect much else from you (and don't even start about what people outside of the community expects--violence, babies, drugs, ignorance and menthol cigarettes) you've got your 'proof' of value and accomplishment and everyone wants to show off a good report card, so they show off.

    And they're under ten.

    A person of either sex recounts this really common experience and just doesn't understand he or she has been consumed by a hollow toxicity that improves none of things they believe it will and the response is to just get mad?

    The cycle of sexual abuse is ravaging these communities and brainwashing the children and the response is 'who cares'?

    Kids are begging for approval in a really desperate way and when they get older and start pulling stupid shit like this guy and it's only bragging that is seen? Isn't that world view kind of depressing?

    Again, I hate so much about this guy and his Persecuted Doom Fists--he has no idea and giant fuck tonne of nerve. But, I also have compassion for the eight-year-old kid who experienced rape and who knows what else and doesn't get to be called a survivor of abuse like so many other kids who live through this are. Of course, their lives are worth more and don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about.

    I hate him. He was exposed to a lot of terrible things but his his refusal to do anything about it just means the apple doesn't rot far from the tree. But: I'm not so blinded by that hatred that I'm getting mad at him because he was raped as a child.

    Gee, I wonder why more people don't come forward?

  • foolsage

    Whoa, slow down there. Dustin didn't write that Chris' being raped as an 8-year old gives us reason to hate him, nor did he imply anything of the sort. Rather, Dustin pointed out that the way Chris bragged about being raped, suggesting that it made him more sexually adventurous, was squicky (the implication Dustin made was that being raped as a child isn't anything to brag about, ever, in any sense). Dustin was clear about the fact that it was rape, and that the age difference (in addition to the absolute age of the victim) was seriously off-putting.

    I'd like to believe that even Chris' worst critics feel badly about his having been raped. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, certainly. We should also consider that being abused as a child probably contributed to Chris' current sociosexual dysfunctions. That doesn't excuse him, but we should at least be compassionate about what he suffered, even if we don't forgive the suffering he causes.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I don't think Dustin wrote this.

    We don't need to re-hash what we know: Chris Brown is a jackass of the highest order, I don't see a single fan of his here. But I also see people twisting themselves into knots trying to find ways to negate the validity of his abuse and I can't cotton to that. Assholes have been abused, too. What makes me feel the squickiess is seeing comments like 'It wasn't *rape* rape', or, 'Well, if he liked it, it's not that big of a deal', or 'He's got an asshole agenda in saying this (perhaps, but, oh well)', or, 'Oh, wow...but he's an asshole so it doesn't matter', or, 'he doesn't frame or interpret the abuse it correctly, so, he doesn't get it, so...so he's a dick'.

    No one's saying he's some kind of hero--I mean, the chair, the valet parking, Frank Ocean, the bottle fight, the dueling sidepieces and his deliberate public humiliation of them, the court documents, I know. But the compassion seems...odd.

  • foolsage

    Heh, you're quite right; I had several articles open and picked the wrong writer.

    I dunno about others, but for me it's not terribly difficult to dislike someone, lack respect for that person, but also feel compassion for that person's suffering.

  • MayorChapStick76

    This picture reminds of how Chris used to be before he turned into a ragey, tattooed crackhead. He was so cute and seemed so harmless then. Damn.

  • Meli_V

    His reflection on the "Rihanna Incident" is why this guy is not redeemable, what a shit bag.

  • rico

    That headline, combined with the picture made me think that you were pissed that Chris had somehow redeem himself and that's why you had to write this post. Instead it's a reaffirmation of what sack of shit he is and i wasted 15 min of my life reading this. Thanks for the Huffpost type headline.still live you guys and gals ;-)

  • kushiro -

    It must have been really hard, that community service that he didn't even show up for and instead had the facility fake his attendance record for. I'm surprised he survived.

  • cgthegeek

    As mad as I am at CB, I'm still concerned about that "losing your virginity" at 8yo thing. Isn't that... alarming to anyone else?!

  • pumpkin

    That's right, it is rape. It's not "different in the country." I have an almost 8 year old daughter and know plenty of 8 year old boys. Not one of them is ready to have sex. If an 8 year old boy is raring to have sex, that's a sign of abuse.

    That doesn't mean Chris Brown isn't an asshole and shouldn't be held accountable, but it's just one more thing to explain (but not excuse) his behavior and attitude.

  • MayorChapStick76

    He didn't 'lose his virginity' at 8 he was sexually abused. Until he recognizes that and deals with it he will always be poison to himself and anyone woman he comes into contact with.

  • Me too, and perhaps including my incredulity at that statement in an article about what an asshole he is was wrong, but seriously. And it's being reported everywhere like "Chris Brown lost his virginity at 8." No, I'm pretty sure that's called rape.

  • Az

    Chris. Brown needs to have a chat with Tyler Perry on this subject.

  • Lindsey Gregory

    You're wrong...because you hit a woman
    You're wrong...because you don't respect women
    You're wrong...because you ARE the aggressor (even against other black dudes)
    You're wrong...because you have a skinny hot-dog dick
    You're wrong...because you think you're above community service (go fall on a blazing hot poker)
    You're wrong...because years after the Rihanna 'incident' it appears you didn't really learn anything (like, do you know WHY you were wrong?)
    You're wrong... because you're a sorry, soggy sack of stupid shit

  • BlackRabbit

    What does #4 have to do with anything?

  • Blake

    By the dog's expression I didn't even need to read this post.


  • Fredo

    OK, let's put a bow on this:

    1) Chris Brown is a bag of douche.

    2) Chris Brown thinks he was and is the victim of a vast media attack on him because he beat the shit out of Rihanna.

    3) Chris Brown thinks that his assault on Rihanna isn't that big of a deal.
    4) Chris Brown isn't going to change his mind.

    5) Go back to #1.
    6) There's a large base of "fans" who seem okay with all of this.

    7) Because of them, Chris Brown is still around; doing interviews.

    8) Because they should, interviewers will forever ask Chris Brown questions about his assault on Rihanna and its aftermath.
    9) Because of #1, Chris Brown will continue to spout things that make sane people mad with rage.
    10) But never forget...#1.

  • That conversation about "The Rihanna Incident" is exactly why this guy is the fucking worst: He's not even a little bit sorry over what he did. He's very obviously parroting lines that someone gave him so he'd look better, but his switch-around makes it clear that he doesn't even believe he did anything wrong. He's just repeating some things he's supposed to say but doesn't actually believe in.

    Cripes, what a total piece of shit. It's beyond me why he's still around, and famous. It's disgusting.

  • Paddington

    Chris Brown admits to being raped, doesn't have the language or awareness to consider it rape. Writer takes that as a chance to note how Chris Brown is a dick.

    No, nothing at all racial about how this story is being treated, nothing at all.

  • NynjaSquirrel

    Chris Brown didn't admit to being raped, he bragged about losing his virginity at 8. There's a massive difference.

  • Birch Barlow

    I don't think there is. A person who is colour blind is still colour blind, whether he knows it, or not. That's why needs to drag his to therapy because his views on sex and relationships are beyond fucked and he's been acting like a jackass for so long that that's kind of all there is, now and he's passed the point where people think he can, or want him to get it together. So, that's all the more mess he's made that he'll have to clean on his own.

  • kirbyjay

    Isn't rape about forced sex? Doesn't sound like he was forced, sounds like he was a tad horny after all that porn. What happened to him was carnal abuse or unlawful sex with a child, not rape. Doesn't make it any less illegal but at least the trauma isn't there.
    Quite possible, all of that porn on his tiny, immature brain could have shaped the way he sees women, but that's another whole discussion.
    And I still want to know what happened to the puppy.

  • Jo 'Mama' Besser

    I guess he was asking for it, flouncing around town, wearing those tight little Osh Kosh b'gosh overalls. That's the problem, right there. It's still rape, even if the person who was abused is despicable. You don't get to randomly choose what qualifies as abuse and what doesn't based on your personal feelings about the person. Tell me how people would respond if this were little Becky from Bangor, would you say, 'But she wanted it, so...any margaritas left?' Hm. I was almost raped and no one believed me either. I'm FINE.

  • pumpkin

    If it was an 8-year old girl, would you say the same thing?

  • Paddington

    Yes, that little slut wanted it. It isn't like he was held down. Let's ignore that an 8 year old can't consent because this is a thing that needs to be done. Let's parse it, too. Not rape but "abuse". Hell, he probably didn't even get attacked in the dark like a proper victim. Chris Brown is such an asshole.

  • I genuinely want to understand how the only reason I could be so horrified by a man severely beating a woman, by his being completely unapologetic for it, by that paragraph up there about the violence classes, is his race.

  • Paddington

    Nice strawman. Didn't say it was the only reason. I said it influenced the backlash. Or are you generally ok with responses to stories where someone is recounting their rape being yea but you're an asshole? Maybe you are but I doubt it.

    So this revulsion, and this need that Chris Brown be sufficiently apologetic to you and not his victim as if he owes you, yes that has nothing to do with race. This focus on the violent act he committed above all else has nothing at all to do with race.

  • Yocean

    It's important we understand why crime happens so we can prevent them, yes. And then we lock criminals up because they are harms to society. Black or white or yellow or whatever. In Chris Brown'a case, he does not need you or anybody to defend him because he did not get the punishment that he deserves. And his money and popularity puts him above race. This is not about race as much as money and popularity.

  • Paddington

    I'm glad you know what punishment he deserved. Crim. theory has stated for a very long time that punishment doesn't reform. So, I guess the question would be do you want less abuse and fewer abusers who, once introduced into the criminal justice system, abuse again? Or do you want to punish?

    Also, we don't lock up criminals because they harm society. Crime is not a naturally occurring category. It's constructed. A man who kills his brother because of a drunken argument isn't likely to kill again. So, he isn't a harm, and arguably the loss of one life doesn't present harm on a societal level UNLESS you think people would kill without the threat of prison, that there are no informal social standards or influence that would prevent such a thing. How many bankers that caused a global economic crisis have been sent to prison? Didn't they, objectively, cause harm to society? That wasn't as clear cut a sentiment as you thought, huh?

    When you say I'm defending Chris Brown lets be clear about what that means. I'm saying this man was raped as an 8 year old. I'm saying that in a story where he was raped as an 8 year old maybe the response shouldn't be Chris Brown is an asshole, douchebag because he was recounting his own victimization. Also, maybe the context for which an 8 year old thinks sex with a much older girl is good might help to explain something about him. Furthermore, maybe the societal narratives of black masculinity might explain not why people dislike Chris Brown but the degree, that race influence the extent to which people feel comfortable focusing on his violence while ignoring/minimizing/mocking/dismissing his victimization with colorblind, oh so reasonable justifications. And that the revulsion isn't for the sake of the victim but a collective need that while can exist absent a racial structure, can't be understood as having nothing to do with it when one exists. Especially not in this era.

    So, what I am saying is that Chris Brown did a truly awful thing, there is no denying that. But the truly awful thing Chris Brown did lines up with social narratives about people who look like Chris Brown and whether you want to admit it or not, that is likely influencing how people see Chris Brown. As this unapologetic (to you) asshole and how that trumps everything, even childhood rape. And how this comes up with him but not with other known abusers who only get brought up because people see how Chris Brown is being treated in comparison.

    Now, is that defending Chris Brown? Yea, ok. But it's more like a case of a various social phenomena that people seem unaware of.

  • Yocean

    He is still making money and being given so much opportunity to express opinion. So do I think he is being punished too much becaus of his race? Hell no. Sure, criminal system is broken but in this case it worked on his favor not because of his race but because of his popularity and money. Same w Charlie Sheen. Same with those wall street criminals. and i sure believe they deserve bigger punishment. but that's a separate issue. Don't try to make it into bigger problem than it is or make it about a society's problem. That shows lack of your intelligence, sorry. We are done.

  • Paddington

    Lol, yes. This bullshit, weak response to me shows my lack of intelligence. Just say you didn't understand it, kid. No shame in not knowing, no dishonor in honesty.

  • ERM

    This comment doesn't even address the issue Paddington raised. He is talking about the bullshit way you addressed the rape of a child.

  • Paddington

    But it does prove my point. Chris Brown as a victim is not a narrative people are comfortable with. It isn't a narrative people are comfortable with historically. Chris Brown as violent offender? It's in the wheelhouse. There is a way to discuss what he did, how it's an awful act. But shouldn't that include some understanding that if this man can't even articulate his own victimization that he may not have the language we want him to have to explain his violent actions? No, because his violence must be seen as without context. He's just angry and an asshole. And before anyone says it, this isn't about an excuse. But if you want less abuse it does help to understand why it happens. And maybe his experience at the age of 8 is a good freaking place to start. Instead of treating him like a monster, removing all humanity from him. Or not. He's an asshole.

  • NateMan

    But it is about an excuse. The minute you hurt someone who doesn't deserve it - who didn't threaten you with violence, who didn't attack you, who's physically less capable of violence than you - any reasoning for doing so becomes an excuse. Past victimization, while tragic, does not excuse current bad acts. Nor does it excuse continued denial of culpability. EVERYTHING with him is someone else's fault. It comes through loud and clear in every interview he gives. He wrecks the property of people interviewing him, it's their fault. He gets in a fight, it's the other person's fault. He gets arrested, gets goddamn community service for kicking the shit out of a young woman, and it's the justice system's fault (which, it is, because an actually objective justice system would have put his ass in jail for a significant period of time).

    Personal example: My cousin's in jail right now, for repeated alcohol and substance abuse violations, for driving recklessly in an attempt to escape the cops, and for not learning his lesson on the many outs he was given. He was also treated like shit by his parents and has chemical dependency issues that are both genetic and a classic case of poor, nay abusive, parenting.

    He's also an adult. Chris Brown is an adult. And once you're an adult, the things you do stop being someone else's fault and start being your own. And I'll start taking accusations of racism in the way Chris Brown has been treated seriously when he starts admitting culpability for his own actions. It's time for him to grow up.

  • BAM

    Problem is, no celebrity will up and volunteer a traumatic childhood event in a media interview UNLESS it serves their purposes. This is the first time I've read that little tidbit. Here's the catch though: a person in that position has to take responsibility for their history (victim or not) and he is choosing to frame it as "how we do" and implying that he was at least 50% responsible and it made him better in bed. He is choosing to relay the story not as a victim, but as an innovator/conqueror, hence the backlash to pile on top of the womanizing heap. He's not a complete idiot and so do you really think he deserves the benefit of the doubt? That he literally doesn't have the language to clarify his life experiences in a realistic way?

    I'm not saying your point isn't valid, but I guess I don't see the race paint as clearly as you do.

  • Paddington

    Yes, I do. Considering that very few adolescent males or men report being raped, especially by women. Is it really hard to believe that he see it as a good thing almost as if he had to? How can you see yourself as a victim of getting something you supposedly always want? So, yes, I'd consider it moreso him framing it the best way he knows how because he really has no other frame to use other than "I got some at 8 so I'm a stud".

  • Bob Genghis Khan

    As long as he has an entourage, millions in the bank, twtter followers, etc. this clown will justify to himself every action he takes, and has taken before. Quite sad really. Here's hoping he'll wake up one day, but I'm not holding my breath.

  • bastich

    Is this post a retaliation for all of the complaints about the recent Miley Cyrus posts?

  • BendinIntheWind

    The thing about Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen* really bothers me for some reason. It's like he's saying "these people are getting multiple chances just because they're white", when I would say the biggest difference between them and the "young black kids" is MONEY.

    Fuck you, Chris Brown. If this dickhole wasn't rich or famous, he would DEFINITELY have served time for what he did to Rihanna. These "young black kids" also see what a heinous thing he did and what a comparatively light punishment he got, so really, you ARE getting a "fairer chance" than most.

    *Yes Charlie Sheen is a monster and has a similarly horrible streak of violence as Chris Brown, but Lindsay is just a straight-up asshole - at least she's never tried to choke someone to death.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Ah, but if Rihanna was a nobody young black female, who would ever have heard about it?

  • NateMan

    I wonder if one could cockpunch Chris Brown so hard he would taste his own testicles. Mythbusters, get on that shit!

  • So, if Chris Brown was being pulled apart by two giant spiders right in front of me, not only would I not help, I'd try and find another giant spider to get in on the action. But he kinda has a point here:

    "Young black kids don’t have the fairer chances. You can see Lindsay Lohan in and out of court every day, you see Charlie Sheen, whoever else, do what they want to do."

    The rest of it? Word cancer.

  • FrayedMachine

    No. No no no. No. This is Chris Brown trying to ride the racism train and the mother fucker needs to get off. You don't get to claim that it's the system keeping you down when the system is ACTIVELY catering to you. When not only does the system cater to you but your CAREER is still that of a relative success. You don't get to compare yourself to the Trayvon Martins of the world because you're NOT a Trayvon Martin the moment you have a huge sack of cash in your possession that lets you get off with beating a woman unabashedly in such a, to be perfectly frank, incredibly light way.

    What young black kids go through now means absolute shit to him. As far as I can tell, he's regurgitating headlines.

    Had he no money what so ever, and was, in fact, one of the young poor black kids, he would not have received the avid forgiveness from essentially all forms of media the way he did. He would have instantly been labeled an animal, an uncontrollable beast. Another horrifically violent black man who can't keep himself under control.

    Instead he gets teenaged girls literally throwing their panties at him and award shows still allowing him to perform.



  • Chester Percival Bone

    Here's the deal though:
    A system that is biased in more than one way can cater to an individual in some aspects while simultaneously oppressing that individual in others. Money isn't a racism vaccine.

  • FrayedMachine

    To try and argue that in this situation he is a victim of racism by being forced to do COMMUNITY SERVICE after being VERY GUILTY of a horrific act of domestic assault and violence makes me want to fucking puke my disgust right in your direction

    I'm sorry but no
    If he were an actual every day black man, he would be fucking crucified. His treatment int his situation is FAR FROM THE TREATMENT THAT EVERY DAY BLACKS DEAL WITH

    and now I will not apologize for my over abuse of capslock because FUCK THIS OVER ABUSE OF SYMPATHY THAT HE DOES SERIOUSLY NOT DESERVE

  • You can be a Superfund site of a human being and still have a small point buried beneath layers of sedimentary douche.

  • FrayedMachine

    You know what's really easy?

    Regurgitating shit people have been saying the second the Zimmerman trial started.

    I'm not going to give some god damn toolbag brownie points because he clearly knows how to read a newspaper and use that information to try and CREATE UNNECESSARY AND DISPLACED SYMPATHY FOR HIS POSITION THAT HE DESERVES


  • "brownie points"


  • FrayedMachine

    DAMMIT you broke my rage and made me chuckle

  • I'm with him on Charlie Sheen. That man is pure evil. But Lohan isn't a fair comparison. She's never attacked another person (unless you count fellow drivers).

  • Paddington

    The Lohan comparison is fair. Chris Brown didn't fuck up work. And yet a lot of people wanted him to just go away, to not be able to work. Lohan can't get through a fucking movie without being a problem but people are pulling for her.

    People were and still treat Chris Brown like him being allowed to entertain is a favor bestowed upon him. That he should be so grateful for the chance and be a good boy lest he be punished with the threat of financial ruin and limited options.

  • NateMan

    Well, he SHOULD be so grateful for the chance to continue entertaining people too stupid to give up on a misogynistic, abusive asshole. He SHOULD be threatened with financial ruin and oh, I don't know, fucking jail-time. And it should be hanging over his head until he demonstrates some personal growth. Which he so far hasn't.

    I'm truly sorry he was raped - and yes, he was raped, and yes, Courtney could have broached the subject with better sensitivity. But her lack thereof probably had more to do with Chris Brown being a misogynistic, abusive asshole it's hard to have any sympathy for than it does her conscious or unconscious racism. I doubt his melanin content has much to do with it. See her previous posts on white abusers such as:

    Woody Allen (and Roman Polanski)

    Paula Deen

    Penn State (and Roman Polanski)

    Mel Gibson

    I don't always agree with Courtney - the pass she's given Alec Baldwin, for example, rubs me the wrong way. But she's given at least as much wordage to hateful white people as she has hateful black people.

    And being a rape survivor, or a black rape survivor, doesn't make Chris Brown less of a dick. Maybe it colors some of his hatred of women. Maybe it doesn't. But at best he takes out past trauma on the people around him. At worst, he's a hateful little shit who knows exactly what he's doing.

  • I agree he should be grateful to have a career. We vote with our dollars and I have never and will never give him any of mine. But clearly others don't feel the same. It would be interesting to see how I would react if someone I admired did the same, but I think I would not want to support someone who violently attacks their partner. Being an entertainer is a privilege which is why they are paid so well.

  • Don't you think beating the shit out of someone is a little worse than someone being terrible at their job?

  • Paddington

    I think they are two separate things and I addressed them as being distinct. There is one level in which the Charlie Sheen comparison is apt and there is another level in which the Lohan comparison is apt.

  • FrayedMachine

    Of course not because racism!


  • VonnegutSlut

    I think it's less about him being the pejorative "good boy" and more about him not criminally beating the fuck out of a woman.

  • Paddington

    Right, because a violent black male in no way activates stereotypes of black males. That in turn wouldn't, in any way, influence the blacklash. Devah Pager be damned!

    What he did was awful. If you need to go on about how he's a dick when he admitted to being raped you don't just have a problem with him but what he embodies. I'm sorry if I won't pretend otherwise.

  • That's fair. I took it more along the line of a double standard. How many times has Lohan gotten off with probation or a warning when anyone (black kids especially) without her notoriety would be living in gen-pop for a while? Again, it's a weak point for a domestic abuser to make, but the larger point (more eloquently made by hundreds of other legitimate black leaders) has some merit.

  • Giroux IA

    Seems to be more of a "have/have not" issue. Brown should have gone to jail for that brutal assault. I sure as hell would have been jailed, and rightfully so. His insane attempt at justification does not dilute an argument about inequality in the justice system. However, sociopaths use all manor of justification, don't they.

  • Tom

    I regret reading this :(

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Yeah...I clicked because some other story today made reference to Chris Brown being raped as a child, so I was trying to figure out what what the deal was...and UGH.

    He...needs to be reprogrammed. I feel icky saying that, but seriously.

  • I don't know how much credence I'd give the whole 'I lost my virginity at 8 years old' story. Spoiler alert: Dudes lie about sex. And a lot of those lies have to do with losing their virginity and the (early) age they lost it at. Hell, you'll never hear more luridly embellished tales of rampant cocksmanship then you will in a middle/high school locker room.

  • IngridToday

    It's really creepy an adult would lie about having sex at eight.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    It's weirdly acceptable for that to be the case in a junio high lockerroom. Possibly the only thing more messed up than being raped/losing virginity at age 8 is thinking, as an adult, that it's a good idea to proclaim in some sort of mind-blowingly oblivious macho-brag that you lost your virginity at 8.

    I suppose I cannot fault you though, if that's where your mind leaps with Chris Brown.

  • Tom

    I should have just stuck with having read what he said about having sex at 8, which is messed up enough. I was an idiot and read this article and all the lovely things he said about women.

    Having sex at 8 with a 14 or 15 year old has been fucking with my mind enough. What 14 year old wants to have sex with an 8 year old? I also can't imagine having sex at 8 being a positive experience in any way. I can't remember myself, but I'm pretty sure 8 year old boys don't get erections. Also, and this is the million dollar question, is it considered rape if both parties are considered too young to consent? Does the 6 year disparity mean that even though she was a minor, she should have enough sense to not have sex with an 8 year old? So many bad questions.

  • NateMan

    Eh, not to share too much, but I definitely got erections when I was 8. I wouldn't have had any idea what to do with it - and, unlike whatever Brown tells himself, I'm glad no one offered to show me - but physically speaking yes, it's totally possible for an 8yr old to get erect and have sex.

    And yes, if it had been brought to the police - and if they cared enough to bring charges - it absolutely would have fit the criteria for sexual assault charges. Any teenager having sex with someone that young could - and should - face charges.

  • Danar the Barbarian

    I'm cracking up because, although I agree with what you're saying, there's no way I'm going to upvote a post about little boys' penises. Go away, Chris Hansen, I'm not taking the bait!

    Oh, and Chris Brown may be one of the few people I would place in the "beyond redemption" category. He just keeps diggin' that hole, deeper and deeper. Here's an idea: shut your fucking mouth for like, three years. Don't talk to the media, don't go on tour, don't be seen in public. Let us forget about you, and then, maybe, you can apologize and start over.

  • Sara_Tonin00

    Puberty happens at different times for different people (girls seem to be getting it younger nowadays) and I guess it's possible. I had a friend in h.s. who at 17 was "dating" a 12-year-old, which disturbed us (then she ran away and married a 34-year-old!) - I don't know that they ever had sex but just the idea of making out with him creeped us all out. Yes, it's pretty much rape, the same way any teenager can molest a child. Yes, it's messed up that a teenager would want to have sex with a little kid, but I can [ahhhhh] imagine a teenage girl damaged enough that she would do so.

    It's unfortunate and distressing that he sees it as a marker of his sexual prowess. I'm also distressed that because of the way he spins it, the media wouldn't be calling it rape. He seems to oddly reverse the times when he is victim vs when he is aggressor.

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