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What Not To Do When Attending And Organizing An Orgy

By Brian Richards | Social Media | March 11, 2017 |

By Brian Richards | Social Media | March 11, 2017 |



This past Wednesday, word began to spread amongst Twitter (primarily Black Twitter) that a party would soon be taking place in the Atlanta area. And that this wasn’t going to be just any type of party, but a slumber party/orgy.


With every mention and discussion of this adult sleepover/orgy, the general reaction to this orgy’s very existence could be summed up as:

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This had nothing at all to do with the fact that there was going to be an orgy, but mainly because of the people involved who would be throwing and planning this orgy to take place. It’s bad enough that such a gathering is being planned by someone who apparently has a reputation on Twitter for saying really unfunny and unpleasant things about people living with HIV/AIDS (which is exactly the kind of open-minded, kind-hearted, and sex-positive person you want planning an orgy), but the fact that this orgy is being planned so badly, so unprofessionally, and with no little to no regard for the safety of those who would be attending. Put it this way: the fact that I know about the existence of this orgy, as well as the fact that you now know about this orgy should be enough to have your Spider-Sense tingling as to whether such an orgy that is already so widely known to so many people is one that should be attended*.

For a more explicit and articulate explanation and breakdown as to why this adult sleepover/orgy and everything about it so far is an absolute catastrofuck in the making, here is a thread of tweets from Monique Judge (@thejournalista) for your enlightenment and reading pleasure…


Safety, respect, proper etiquette, and consent are all things that many of us (especially women and especially Black women) ask for and demand in order to help make this life one that is worth living. It’s why women tell you to not touch their hair without their permission. It’s why women tell you not to touch any part of their body without their permission. It’s why women tell you that they’re not going to smile just because you demand them to. It’s why women tell you not to touch them, photograph them without permission, or treat them like your own personal fucktoy when you see them cosplaying at (insert popular comic-book and pop-culture convention here). It’s why women tell you not to send them unsolicited dick pics. It’s why women tell you to leave them the fuck alone and to not follow or catcall them as they’re walking down the street/riding the bus or subway or elevator to their respective destinations. And it’s also why women make absolutely sure that they have a pair of headphones on them at all times so they have something to (pretend to) listen to while blatantly ignoring your attempts to follow and catcall them as they’re walking down the street/riding the bus or subway or elevator to their respective destinations. (And as someone who spent years having to wonder and worry about getting jumped by racist White assholes every time I left my house to walk outside while living in Staten Island, I’m fully aware that men need and deserve safety/respect/proper etiquette/consent as well, but we obviously don’t face the same extent of dangers and threats that women do, so please spare us all the “But what about us?!” and “Not all men” responses).

All of those things are what we should expect and receive when simply going to a club or party where simply dancing to loud music and consuming watered-down and overpriced drinks will take place, and they should definitely be expected and applied to a party/gathering where many a sexual act can and will take place in a location that is under your personal supervision. These are all things that we should expect and demand from any person for any interaction, be it a business meeting, a hangout session between friends, a first date that could potentially lead to something more, or down-and-dirty sex that will happen only once or happen on a regular basis. And if you’re not willing to do everything possible to ensure that whoever you are with feels that they are safe, that they are without judgment, that they can say “yes” and/or “no” to you about whatever they decide without fear of reprisal…then you’re simply taking steps to become another Nate Parker, another Casey Affleck, another Brock Turner, or you’re taking steps to encourage such behavior in others and doing little or nothing to prevent it. And if that’s the case, then you need to keep your distance as far away from others as humanly possible, because no one needs or deserves to deal with that.

*All of that being said, I’m fully aware that:
1) This could all be an elaborate practical joke.
2) This orgy could end up being cancelled at the last minute for various reasons.
3) All five of you who are reading this fully understand the meaning and importance of consent and don’t need to be reminded of it. But some anvils just need to be dropped.